Broken Pieces

Thread: Broken Pieces

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  1. JoshD said:

    Default Broken Pieces

    Broken Pieces..


    Verse 1:

    I've got all these broken pieces in my hands,
    ive got nothing but broken knees stuck in the sand,
    its not a joke that i'm broken inside,
    i'm not sure if i can be revived..


    Chorus:

    Im Brand new taking off these chains,
    awakening something thats inside my brain,
    its something new something unexplained,
    i got em off.... i got off my chains,


    Verse 2:

    I've got all these broken pieces in my hands,
    I've got nothing but broken knees stuck in the sand,
    its not a joke that i feel like i died,
    I'm Not sure what i feel inside.


    Chorus:

    Im Brand new taking off these chains,
    awakening something thats inside my brain,
    its something new something unexplained,
    i got em off.... i got off my chains,


    Bridge:

    I'm alive im not broken now,
    i ask why how could this happen.. how?
    I feel great something has changed inside,
    ive opened up ive opened my eyes,


    Ending:

    To the seasons, the reasons, the healing, and the bleeding, it happens its something we all need this feeling,
    im awake im alive im not broken inside,
    Last edited by JoshD; 09-22-2013 at 03:53 PM.
     
  2. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Josh,I feel a little weird saying this,I just said it to Zak,a minute ago,but this is by far,my favorite piece written by you.I've followed you since you arrived on the scene;you've improved with each new offering,but this will be hard to top!(I hope finding two great song lyrics/poetry in one night,isn't just me being in a good mood!)Seriously this "speaks" to me like no other piece you've written.You're on the right track,I'm impressed!Very impressed!
     
  3. JoshD said:

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    Really!?! Thank you so much! it really means alot, i dont have alot of time to write but when i do i write my heart out and i take my time and make it meaningful i really appreciate the feedback and i am going to try to write more and post on here as much as i can! thanks again doug!
     
  4. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoshD View Post
    Really!?! Thank you so much! it really means alot, i dont have alot of time to write but when i do i write my heart out and i take my time and make it meaningful i really appreciate the feedback and i am going to try to write more and post on here as much as i can! thanks again doug!
    My pleasure,and I meant every word.Josh,I hope now that,in my opinion,you've hit a new level,you try to look at this as an example of how a great song is written.Don't rush,good stuff don't come easy!
     
  5. Peter Both said:

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    The song builds up momentum as it progresses and ends with a spectacular ending. The orchestra reaches a full climax on the last line. Great piece!
     
  6. JoshD said:

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    Thank you peter, means alot!
     
  7. StripedSweater's Avatar

    StripedSweater said:

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    I like it :3
     
  8. Johnb31's Avatar

    Johnb31 said:

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    The flow and depth that this song has is amazing this is an extremely mature song a true look at the troubles of the heart the battle within. It leaves me with questions it causes me to question myself to look within and wonder do i feel this way as well? This is one of those song you serach for your entire life a song that comes from somewhere deep inside I myself have found that the best songs come earlier in your writing experience but over time grow with depth and understanding. This is a song you will be able to sing 30 years from now and it will still carry the same effect that it has today. I hope that this song opens a door to your lyric filled future, never be afraid to write your heart out. Put music to this song I can't wait to hear it. I'm coming over Friday I think so you have 3 days haha get working.
    There is not enough space or time to truly let the song unwind
     
  9. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnb31 View Post
    The flow and depth that this song has is amazing this is an extremely mature song a true look at the troubles of the heart the battle within. It leaves me with questions it causes me to question myself to look within and wonder do i feel this way as well? This is one of those song you serach for your entire life a song that comes from somewhere deep inside I myself have found that the best songs come earlier in your writing experience but over time grow with depth and understanding. This is a song you will be able to sing 30 years from now and it will still carry the same effect that it has today. I hope that this song opens a door to your lyric filled future, never be afraid to write your heart out. Put music to this song I can't wait to hear it.
    I'm coming over Friday I think so you have 3 days haha get working.
    John,I think you may have taught Josh so well,you may need him to give you help in the near future!I'm amazed at how far Josh has come in such a short period.If this ever becomes something I can listen to,be sure and let me know.
     
  10. JoshD said:

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    I Actually am writing guitar and vocals to this as i type this!
     
  11. Johnb31's Avatar

    Johnb31 said:

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    He's a really fast learner, he was writing songs on guitar within the first month of getting a guitar for the first time he taught himself. And his writing is astonishing to me especially this song which I have heard the rough cut of the music he came up with and it sounds amazing with the lyrics. He's only going to get better with time, practice and maturity. I'm already learning from him I think we each have things to teach one another.
    There is not enough space or time to truly let the song unwind
     
  12. JoshD said:

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    Haha, thanks John it means alot
     
  13. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnb31 View Post
    He's a really fast learner, he was writing songs on guitar within the first month of getting a guitar for the first time he taught himself. And his writing is astonishing to me especially this song which I have heard the rough cut of the music he came up with and it sounds amazing with the lyrics. He's only going to get better with time, practice and maturity. I'm already learning from him I think we each have things to teach one another.
    You both are lucky to have each other to bounce ideas off of.The best thing you can have,as a songwriter,is someone who you respect,and who's opinion matters.If one of you has a good idea....great!If not,it's good to have someone to tell you so!
     
  14. JoshD said:

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    Very true doug very true
     
  15. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    Wow. This is really great. Wicked ending.
    ~Kerri Faye