False Belonging

Thread: False Belonging

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  1. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

    Default False Belonging

    Can we turn our lives around?

    Erase the past without a sound?

    Scream out loud. Whatís going wrong?

    This is not where I belong!

    Vs. 1:

    We, we all make mistakes,

    Weíve fallen from grace.

    Weíre falling, behind

    Our eyes shut tight, thereís no room to see the light.

    As we cast our shadows on the ground.

    Ch. 1:

    Tell me what is down the road,

    I find Iím scared of the unknown.

    When all the lights have faded,

    Tell me why youíre still jaded.

    Separate yourself again,

    Loneliness is the new trend.

    Like shattered mirrors upon the wall,

    Thereís no way to save us all.

    Vs. 2:

    Illusions or memories? I canít tell the difference anymore.

    What happened? So breakable is what we have become.

    Throw all your regrets away, come back to me, say youíll stay this time around.

    Bridge:

    As thoughts of you are haunting me, it seems

    So long since I have seen that fire, desire in your eyes.

    This is not where I belong!

    Make your mark, donít be scared.

    Leave behind the tears youíve shed.

    Donít look back, youíre such a mess.

    Itís become a metamorphosis.
     
  2. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Well folks,we've got a new heavy hitter here at ATL,named Karri Faye Yates!I've haven't,if ever been this impressed with a new writer.I look forward to reading your songs and your comments on others threads.This song is great!
     
  3. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    Thanks so much! Now I'm for sure blushing hehe. This is one of my favorite works I'm so excited to be here!
    ~Kerri Faye
     
  4. Zakynthos said:

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    Hi Kerri,

    You caught my attention when you left a like on a song I've posted.. so thanks.
    I'd like to know what the first verse is. Maybe an introduction? I'm glad to see that you don't have a consistent rhyme scene in your verses. That makes your chorus stand out easily. I believe "False Belonging" is a very good song, although somewhat abstract and it felt like there's not one idea behind this.
     
  5. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zakynthos View Post
    Hi Kerri,

    You caught my attention when you left a like on a song I've posted.. so thanks.
    I'd like to know what the first verse is. Maybe an introduction? I'm glad to see that you don't have a consistent rhyme scene in your verses. That makes your chorus stand out easily. I believe "False Belonging" is a very good song, although somewhat abstract and it felt like there's not one idea behind this.
    Yes! It is an intro
    It's a very...strange song. I have it all planned out in my head, but it just feels so awkward on paper! This was my first real experiment with something other than your typical love/breakup songs. Perhaps it's still a work in progress, if I ever get back to it
    ~Kerri Faye
     
  6. Zakynthos said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerri Faye Yates View Post
    Yes! It is an intro
    It's a very...strange song. I have it all planned out in my head, but it just feels so awkward on paper! This was my first real experiment with something other than your typical love/breakup songs. Perhaps it's still a work in progress, if I ever get back to it
    I feel you. Words are sometimes hard to manipulate..
     
  7. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    That's no joke, it can be so frustrating when it's on the tip of your tongue but you can't quite remember, so you put down something similar that isn't nearly as effective!
    ~Kerri Faye
     
  8. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    I hope Zak's bump will give you some duly deserved attention!Come on guys,give Kerri some feedback!She's my new favorite writer!
     
  9. LooknGlass said:

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    This is some good writing. I like it bunches. I do however have one question

    "Like shattered mirrors upon the wall,
    There’s no way to save us all."

    I may be missing something and if so.."duh" but I don't quite get the analogy in this line.

    Having noted that, I think this is good penmanship.
     
  10. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by LooknGlass View Post
    This is some good writing. I like it bunches. I do however have one question

    "Like shattered mirrors upon the wall,
    There’s no way to save us all."

    I may be missing something and if so.."duh" but I don't quite get the analogy in this line.

    Having noted that, I think this is good penmanship.
    Thank you!
    I guess I was kind of thinking when a mirror shatters it's nothing but pieces of what is used to be and it's impossible to be put back together. You can't "save" all the pieces.
    ~Kerri Faye
     
  11. Victoria's_Lyrics said:

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    It's great, you have the concept right and flow is flowing
     
  12. Zakynthos said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerri Faye Yates View Post
    Thank you!
    I guess I was kind of thinking when a mirror shatters it's nothing but pieces of what is used to be and it's impossible to be put back together. You can't "save" all the pieces.
    No broken piece of glass can be saved. Lol