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  1. #1
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Cool Love On A Platter

    *******************
    When we met
    Nothing seem to matter
    I served you straight up
    Love On A Platter

    At first
    Everything was right
    You were so salty
    And ah,so tight
    We lit some candles
    Made love all night

    Paid you compliments
    Always tried to flatter
    Served you straight up
    Love On A Platter

    Then your mom got sick
    And so did you
    Left me hangin'
    Like a French Fried Fool

    I guess one day
    And it won't be long
    I'll find the right chick
    Instead of Dead Wrong

    Gone are the days
    Nothing seemed to matter
    You threw it all away
    Love On A Platter

    2/27/2014

    This is a follow up or sequel to the song "French Fry Cool"
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 04-15-2014 at 10:14 PM. Reason: Follow up comment

  2. #2
    Senior Member Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar
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    You made me blush! ahaha
    ~Kerri Faye

  3. #3
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerri Faye Yates View Post
    You made me blush! ahaha
    But did you like it?I admit,I forgot a lot of the lines......I wrote it in my head on one of my strolls.But I did want to post something,so I did the best I could with what I could recall.If I waited to "remember"it all, it'd sit in a stack like the other 20 or so songs that I never finish!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    But did you like it?I admit,I forgot a lot of the lines......I wrote it in my head on one of my strolls.But I did want to post something,so I did the best I could with what I could recall.If I waited to "remember"it all, it'd sit in a stack like the other 20 or so songs that I never finish!
    Duh!! I would have quit reading if I didnt The first 4 lines are definitely my favorite!
    ~Kerri Faye

  5. #5
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerri Faye Yates View Post
    Duh!! I would have quit reading if I didnt The first 4 lines are definitely my favorite!
    Thanks Kerri!Coming from you,I feel like it must be okay.I'm a little rusty,but glad you liked it!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    Thanks Kerri!Coming from you,I feel like it must be okay.I'm a little rusty,but glad you liked it!
    Oh no, you think too highly of me! Glad I decided to read it
    ~Kerri Faye

  7. #7
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerri Faye Yates View Post
    Oh no, you think too highly of me! Glad I decided to read it
    I'm glad too!I hope some others take the time..............

  8. #8
    Senior Member BackInBlack's Avatar
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    I love it Doug. Very clever idea and carried out in a very clever manner. It's cool as a coal miners belt buckle brother.

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    jessie zuppo (03-29-2014)

  10. #9
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BackInBlack View Post
    I love it Doug. Very clever idea and carried out in a very clever manner. It's cool as a coal miners belt buckle brother.
    Thanks BIB.Hopfeully some others will take the time to give a reply.After all,that's what this site is about;writing and commenting on others lyrics.Some just don't get that;they dump their songs,and then abandon the site "because no one gave me any feedback" forgetting they gave none themselves...........life goes on.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
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    Another solid song, Doug. The directness of "Love On A Platter" is its strength. Also, the song flows well with a storyline beginning-middle-end. I like the ending ("You threw it all away"), a glaring juxtaposition to "I served you straight up" in the earlier refrains!

    Something about the tight-knittedness of this song belies your claim that you sort of threw it together. The end result is what matters. Like Ashford & Simpson, "Solid as a rock!"

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    Doug Denslowe (03-22-2014)

  13. #11
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine View Post
    Another solid song, Doug. The directness of "Love On A Platter" is its strength. Also, the song flows well with a storyline beginning-middle-end. I like the ending ("You threw it all away"), a glaring juxtaposition to "I served you straight up" in the earlier refrains!

    Something about the tight-knittedness of this song belies your claim that you sort of threw it together. The end result is what matters. Like Ashford & Simpson, "Solid as a rock!"
    I'm flattered that you liked this;I thought there might be a line you deemed too vulgar,but I'm glad you gave it a chance!I had hoped for more comments,but again I was disappointed with my fellow writers here at ATL.I can forgive the folks,like you,who only drop in on occasion.The folks I'm pointing the finger at are the ones who post a lot and give no comments.You have been a loyal
    friend and for that,I thank you!I will always read and comment on your "stuff".(Also this is a shout out to Amaryn....you too are a friend till the end!)
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 03-28-2014 at 01:32 PM.

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  15. #12
    Senior Member amaryn's Avatar
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    Totally agree with Frankie there!
    This is your strength, Doug: short, witty lines, always (IMHO) very playable and probably singable.
    Trifle too nostalgic?
    No way"
    !
    Just digging up memories from Days Long Gone.
    The Flo Bro Style!

    Thanks,Doug!

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    Doug Denslowe (03-22-2014)

  17. #13
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amaryn View Post
    Totally agree with Frankie there!
    This is your strength, Doug: short, witty lines, always (IMHO) very playable and probably singable.
    Trifle too nostalgic?
    No way"
    !
    Just digging up memories from Days Long Gone.
    The Flo Bro Style!

    Thanks,Doug!
    thanks for the reply Amaryn.I think this song lyric is easily put to music,as I hope most of my lyrics are.I'm glad ATL removed the Likes.........without a word of conversation from it's members.This is another assault on my senses!I'm glad I'm coming to this less frequently,the folks I need to communicate with have sent me their Emails or Twitter or Facebook accounts.

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    jessie zuppo (03-29-2014)

  19. #14
    Member jessie zuppo's Avatar
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    I llike how you brought some intimate imagery into this piece...I love "Love on a Platter" as the title and as an excellent metaphor. Knowing the narrative and background of this piece helps me understand it even better. It's short, succinct, and simple. Love it!

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    Doug Denslowe (03-29-2014)

  21. #15
    Senior Member amaryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessie zuppo View Post
    I llike how you brought some intimate imagery into this piece...I love "Love on a Platter" as the title and as an excellent metaphor. Knowing the narrative and background of this piece helps me understand it even better. It's short, succinct, and simple. Love it!



    Right, Jessie! I couldn't agree more!

  22. #16
    Senior Member Doug Denslowe's Avatar
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    Thanks Jessie.......I'm glad I delivered a song lyric you liked!

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