Cristene

Thread: Cristene

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  1. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default Cristene

    Cristene-
    You're a C*NT
    From the back
    and from the
    front

    When you showed me
    your true side
    I was mortified
    to find an evil b*tch
    lurking inside.

    You took my love
    and threw it away-
    But to my face,
    "Jessie, I love you
    PLEASE STAY!!"

    We grew...apart
    That void, that space
    left me lost
    Awkward..
    Out of place..

    I was a kept woman
    with no purse
    an injured person
    with no nurse

    Emotionally- I felt
    You abandoned me..
    but
    In Reality...
    I was Free
    of your Hypocrisy
    and Theft
    of my Identity.

    Your a 2 sided
    Phake Phriend
    The kind of b*tch
    I shoulda
    left blowing
    in the wind.

    Your blood runs icy cold
    but your phony bullsh*t-
    b*tch, that's just old

    I'm over you
    Ain't no love here
    anymore
    Took me a minute
    but now I see
    you were just a two bit
    *****..nothing less
    nothing more..

    You have NO place
    in my life
    I choose to embrace my
    solidarity,
    because

    YOU
    Cristene-
    are a C*NT
    from the back
    and from
    the front.

    Written on March 9, 2014
     
  2. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Another in-your-face piece of poetry by the one and only Wild West Jess!I'm glad you had the balls to post this;many would not!It's in your own style,part rhyme,part near rhyme.I hope you get the well deserved feedback,but I know,lately,very few give any.I posted a song lyric and got two replies after years of giving 1000's of comments;those days are over!I'm only replying to the people that give as well as receive.I hope you get many,but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't..........selfish folks have taken over this site.
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 03-11-2014 at 03:41 PM.
     
  3. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    This is a piece ripped from your heart , Jesse, which made me shake my fists at this person you write about.
    It's that deep , direct and ugly reflecting the Ugliness and Pain of that Disappointment after so many years.

    "I was a kept woman
    with no purse
    an injured person
    with no nurse"

    No questions left, short lines which tell it all.
    No wonder you write usually punk, because punk lyrics are some of the most direct you can find
    within the musical world. (bollocks, brave new world)
    It is not that it will free you of all pain, but at least it helps in the same way as the black people telling about their misery consoled each other
    in blues music. John Lee Hooker knew about that:
    "F**ck you all, one of these days, I'll be the winner, bunch of c**ntholes!"

    BE STRONG , JESSE!
     
  4. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default I learned everything I know from you....

    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    Another in-your-face piece of poetry by the one and only Wild West Jess!I'm glad you had the balls to post this;many would not!It's in your own style,part rhyme,part near rhyme.I hope you get the well deserved feedback,but I know,lately,very few give any.I posted a song lyric and got two replies after years of giving 1000's of comments;those days are over!I'm only replying to the people that give as well as receive.I hope you get many,but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't..........selfish folks have taken over this site.

    I see what you mean, Doug....there have been some atrocious pieces posted...with the most fake comments and critique...let's keep it real PEOPLE...And Dougie, I will definitely be posting some critiques on your pieces...you absolutely deserve it. Thank you for the support. This poem is actually dedicated to you..you inspired me, you backed me up and you really gave me the confidence to break out of my comfort zone and use the c*nt, and I have gotten some whiplash from that...oh well
     
  5. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by amaryn View Post
    This is a piece ripped from your heart , Jesse, which made me shake my fists at this person you write about.
    It's that deep , direct and ugly reflecting the Ugliness and Pain of that Disappointment after so many years.

    "I was a kept woman
    with no purse
    an injured person
    with no nurse"

    No questions left, short lines which tell it all.
    No wonder you write usually punk, because punk lyrics are some of the most direct you can find
    within the musical world. (bollocks, brave new world)
    It is not that it will free you of all pain, but at least it helps in the same way as the black people telling about their misery consoled each other
    in blues music. John Lee Hooker knew about that:
    "F**ck you all, one of these days, I'll be the winner, bunch of c**ntholes!"

    BE STRONG , JESSE!
    Amaryn, thank you so much for your feedback. I truly truly respect it because your talent is god-given. Thank you so much for not just dismissing it because of the vernacular. As a gifted writer, you were able to read the message. To me, that means that I got my message across. You, too, will be seeing me on your pieces. You are a true and genuine person. And I thank you for that!
     
  6. BackInBlack's Avatar

    BackInBlack said:

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    I love it. It's honest, cathartic and bad ***. Please write more!
     
  7. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by BackInBlack View Post
    I love it. It's honest, cathartic and bad ***. Please write more!
    bad? Like "bad ***"? or "bad-sh*tty?" Thank you, either way. I appreciate the time you took to read it and give me feedback, I will definitely write more...check out "Aaron"..it's a poem about my fiancee that shot himself in the head right in front of me...it's extremely cathartic.
     
  8. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jessie zuppo View Post
    bad? Like "bad ***"? or "bad-sh*tty?" Thank you, either way. I appreciate the time you took to read it and give me feedback, I will definitely write more...check out "Aaron"..it's a poem about my fiancee that shot himself in the head right in front of me...it's extremely cathartic.
    ahhh...I see that ATL has censored our language...I get the bad reference now....those ****ing ******* censors!! LMAO!!
     
  9. BackInBlack's Avatar

    BackInBlack said:

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    Of course... because kids with virgin ears may be reading this material. I'm sure that they have never heard the F bomb slip from either their mom, dad, or school mates right? Let's just keep all of the children protected in a huge "innocence bubble" so they are never exposed to... REAL LIFE. Lol!
     
  10. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by BackInBlack View Post
    Of course... because kids with virgin ears may be reading this material. I'm sure that they have never heard the F bomb slip from either their mom, dad, or school mates right? Let's just keep all of the children protected in a huge "innocence bubble" so they are never exposed to... REAL LIFE. Lol!
    BIB see "The Easy Excuse" it's about this very topic;the children,the children,The Easy Excuse..........for censoring everything in society.
     
  11. BackInBlack's Avatar

    BackInBlack said:

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    Okay Doug. Will do buddy.
     
  12. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by BackInBlack View Post
    Okay Doug. Will do buddy.
    Thanks for your feedback on this and on my songs,it's appreciated!
     
  13. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by BackInBlack View Post
    Of course... because kids with virgin ears may be reading this material. I'm sure that they have never heard the F bomb slip from either their mom, dad, or school mates right? Let's just keep all of the children protected in a huge "innocence bubble" so they are never exposed to... REAL LIFE. Lol!
    Exactly!!! LMAO!!
     
  14. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    Very good flow, and placement of words! This is balls down hate, written in the best possible way. Not much to say here really, I enjoyed it!
     
  15. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Amaryn got to it before me:the bit with the "purse-nurse" rhyme. Short, conscise & incisive...a copious flow.

    (Now about the suicidal fiance, that's fictitious, i hope?)
     
  16. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by curiosity_kills_the_cat View Post
    Amaryn got to it before me:the bit with the "purse-nurse" rhyme. Short, conscise & incisive...a copious flow.

    (Now about the suicidal fiance, that's fictitious, i hope?)
    Thank you so much!! Both of these poems, actually ALL OF MY POEMS ("Thank you", "Aaron", and "Cristene") are narratives of times in my life- and they are very, VERY much real!
     
  17. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eccer View Post
    Very good flow, and placement of words! This is balls down hate, written in the best possible way. Not much to say here really, I enjoyed it!
    Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and critique it- it's very much appreciated. You're right. Hate was the emotion I was feeling as I let these words flow onto my notebook and the tears to drop on it as well. So, not just 'hate' just to be a hateful person, but the hatred comes from being HURT...I realize this piece is urban, and contains explicit language...but sometimes that's what you gotta do to release the pain to the universe and let go...and let God deal with it-- because that's one painful burden I no longer need..again, thank you!!
     
  18. Frankie Jasmine's Avatar

    Frankie Jasmine said:

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    "Cristene" is steel, stark, stripped, and profane.
     
  19. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine View Post
    "Cristene" is steel, stark, stripped, and profane.
    Hooray for Frankie!I was reluctant to recommend this poem to her,due to it's "R" rating.She has told me she's a "PG" kind of gal!I respect that,but applaud her for both reading and commenting on Cristene.Her absence around here has affected me greatly,I'm not the "lovable" Doug I once was with her looking over my shoulder.I'm glad when my Wizard visits and elevates my mood!Thanks Frankie!
     
  20. Frankie Jasmine's Avatar

    Frankie Jasmine said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    Hooray for Frankie!I was reluctant to recommend this poem to her,due to it's "R" rating.She has told me she's a "PG" kind of gal!I respect that,but applaud her for both reading and commenting on Cristene.Her absence around here has affected me greatly,I'm not the "lovable" Doug I once was with her looking over my shoulder.I'm glad when my Wizard visits and elevates my mood!Thanks Frankie!
    You have me right, Doug. I am PG-13 at best (worst?), and defo not an R-lady. . . . Thanks for your kind sentiments about the Wizard once again.