Cristene-
You're a C*NT
From the back
and from the
front
When you showed me
your true side
I was mortified
to find an evil b*tch
lurking inside.
You took my love
and threw it away-
But to my face,
"Jessie, I love you
PLEASE STAY!!"
We grew...apart
That void, that space
left me lost
Awkward..
Out of place..
I was a kept woman
with no purse
an injured person
with no nurse
Emotionally- I felt
You abandoned me..
but
In Reality...
I was Free
of your Hypocrisy
and Theft
of my Identity.
Your a 2 sided
Phake Phriend
The kind of b*tch
I shoulda
left blowing
in the wind.
Your blood runs icy cold
but your phony bullsh*t-
b*tch, that's just old
I'm over you
Ain't no love here
anymore
Took me a minute
but now I see
you were just a two bit
*****..nothing less
nothing more..
You have NO place
in my life
I choose to embrace my
solidarity,
because
YOU
Cristene-
are a C*NT
from the back
and from
the front.
Written on March 9, 2014
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Cristene
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Another in-your-face piece of poetry by the one and only Wild West Jess!I'm glad you had the balls to post this;many would not!It's in your own style,part rhyme,part near rhyme.I hope you get the well deserved feedback,but I know,lately,very few give any.I posted a song lyric and got two replies after years of giving 1000's of comments;those days are over!I'm only replying to the people that give as well as receive.I hope you get many,but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't..........selfish folks have taken over this site.
Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 03-11-2014 at 03:41 PM.
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This is a piece ripped from your heart , Jesse, which made me shake my fists at this person you write about.
It's that deep , direct and ugly reflecting the Ugliness and Pain of that Disappointment after so many years.
"I was a kept woman
with no purse
an injured person
with no nurse"
No questions left, short lines which tell it all.
No wonder you write usually punk, because punk lyrics are some of the most direct you can find
within the musical world. (bollocks, brave new world)
It is not that it will free you of all pain, but at least it helps in the same way as the black people telling about their misery consoled each other
in blues music. John Lee Hooker knew about that:
"F**ck you all, one of these days, I'll be the winner, bunch of c**ntholes!"
BE STRONG , JESSE! -
I learned everything I know from you....
Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
I see what you mean, Doug....there have been some atrocious pieces posted...with the most fake comments and critique...let's keep it real PEOPLE...And Dougie, I will definitely be posting some critiques on your pieces...you absolutely deserve it. Thank you for the support. This poem is actually dedicated to you..you inspired me, you backed me up and you really gave me the confidence to break out of my comfort zone and use the c*nt, and I have gotten some whiplash from that...oh well -
Amaryn, thank you so much for your feedback. I truly truly respect it because your talent is god-given. Thank you so much for not just dismissing it because of the vernacular. As a gifted writer, you were able to read the message. To me, that means that I got my message across. You, too, will be seeing me on your pieces. You are a true and genuine person. And I thank you for that! Originally Posted by amaryn
This is a piece ripped from your heart , Jesse, which made me shake my fists at this person you write about.
It's that deep , direct and ugly reflecting the Ugliness and Pain of that Disappointment after so many years.
"I was a kept woman
with no purse
an injured person
with no nurse"
No questions left, short lines which tell it all.
No wonder you write usually punk, because punk lyrics are some of the most direct you can find
within the musical world. (bollocks, brave new world)
It is not that it will free you of all pain, but at least it helps in the same way as the black people telling about their misery consoled each other
in blues music. John Lee Hooker knew about that:
"F**ck you all, one of these days, I'll be the winner, bunch of c**ntholes!"
BE STRONG , JESSE! -
I love it. It's honest, cathartic and bad ***. Please write more!
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bad? Like "bad ***"? or "bad-sh*tty?" Thank you, either way. I appreciate the time you took to read it and give me feedback, I will definitely write more...check out "Aaron"..it's a poem about my fiancee that shot himself in the head right in front of me...it's extremely cathartic. Originally Posted by BackInBlack
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ahhh...I see that ATL has censored our language...I get the bad reference now....those ****ing ******* censors!! LMAO!! Originally Posted by jessie zuppo
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Of course... because kids with virgin ears may be reading this material. I'm sure that they have never heard the F bomb slip from either their mom, dad, or school mates right? Let's just keep all of the children protected in a huge "innocence bubble" so they are never exposed to... REAL LIFE. Lol!
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BIB see "The Easy Excuse" it's about this very topic;the children,the children,The Easy Excuse..........for censoring everything in society. Originally Posted by BackInBlack
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Okay Doug. Will do buddy.
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Thanks for your feedback on this and on my songs,it's appreciated! Originally Posted by BackInBlack
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Exactly!!! LMAO!! Originally Posted by BackInBlack
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Very good flow, and placement of words! This is balls down hate, written in the best possible way. Not much to say here really, I enjoyed it!
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Amaryn got to it before me:the bit with the "purse-nurse" rhyme. Short, conscise & incisive...a copious flow.
(Now about the suicidal fiance, that's fictitious, i hope?) -
Thank you so much!! Both of these poems, actually ALL OF MY POEMS ("Thank you", "Aaron", and "Cristene") are narratives of times in my life- and they are very, VERY much real! Originally Posted by curiosity_kills_the_cat
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and critique it- it's very much appreciated. You're right. Hate was the emotion I was feeling as I let these words flow onto my notebook and the tears to drop on it as well. So, not just 'hate' just to be a hateful person, but the hatred comes from being HURT...I realize this piece is urban, and contains explicit language...but sometimes that's what you gotta do to release the pain to the universe and let go...and let God deal with it-- because that's one painful burden I no longer need..again, thank you!! Originally Posted by Eccer
Very good flow, and placement of words! This is balls down hate, written in the best possible way. Not much to say here really, I enjoyed it!
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"Cristene" is steel, stark, stripped, and profane.
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Hooray for Frankie!I was reluctant to recommend this poem to her,due to it's "R" rating.She has told me she's a "PG" kind of gal!I respect that,but applaud her for both reading and commenting on Cristene.Her absence around here has affected me greatly,I'm not the "lovable" Doug I once was with her looking over my shoulder.I'm glad when my Wizard visits and elevates my mood!Thanks Frankie! Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine
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You have me right, Doug. I am PG-13 at best (worst?), and defo not an R-lady. . . . Thanks for your kind sentiments about the Wizard once again. Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
