Dancing Minuscules

Hi everybody,
Im new here at this forum, from Sweden and I am a HOBBY musician, striving lightly to get an EP out on spotify etc while thats not the most important thing I have a really hard time with my lyrics, and have to figure them out first.

So my lyrics is often for my music, mostley english, at the moment Im inspired of folkmusic... anyways here Is my latest lyric for a song, need some help of what you guys think, ideas and tips are wellcome, spelling..it all, be critcal!

So its not a finished piece of lyric, a scratch, for a pretty fast song. Personally I think that the start sounds a bit cheezy or what to call it, but with music its sounds different... well what do you think about:


Dancing Minuscules

He makes a move to feel the groove
aint that a funny sight
the man sure cant dance
heres a lesson for ya sonny
you gotta stamp that roach down

Someday
Ill dance
for your eyes only

Watching you lay in the grass as the sun goes down
while a daddy longlegs dances on your face, he reminds me of me

Im just a nerdy kid from the north
with tied up hands as we are
no one aint no one to anybody
You gotta stamp that roach down!

But someday
Ill drive
to a place called Sevilla

Watching you lay in the grass as the sun goes down
while a daddy longleg dances on your face, he reminds me of me

Yeah, someday
Ill dance
for your embarrassment, only

I get the feeling that it could be a nice folk song.....cheesy? no I don't think that at all.....

In the chorus I would just stick with 'for your eyes only'.....

I really can't think of anything else to add. It has 'personality' and personal style and I'm curious about how it would sound musically. Stay with it, it seems promising to me

Thank you for the reply

Im glad for the positive comments! Nice to hear Im on the right way. Funny that you mentioned the chorus thing... the idea was like that at first and I think you are right. And Im gonna trow in another verse and one more stick after the "daddy longlegs" stick.

Well the music is pretty much figured out, so I hope I can record it and Ill pm you a link to the song haha!

Best Regards,