Boiling Point (Finished 10/29/14)

Meh, not sure how I feel about this one..

Though ravaged with defeat, his stance is still tall,
Holding on to what little remains.
What doesn’t kill you is part of who you are,
Even in the midst of flames.

We’re making our rounds again,
Always ending up at the same place.
Shot down with a dart of poison,
He kept a straight face.

The temperature is rising,
A volcano about to erupt.
The peace is being breached,
Disorderly conduct.
It’s nearing his boiling point.
Growing hotter by the second.
Boiling point,
This pain is of the essence.
His boiling point.

Sometimes strength is silent,
Biting words on his tongue.
Sometimes it’s the voice in the distance,
Keeping him moving along.

Pressure is building as faces swarm around him,
He’s not sure he can stand still anymore.
He reaches for the lighter in his pocket,
Lights up a cigar, walks out the door.

The temperature is rising,
A volcano about to erupt.
The peace is being breached,
Disorderly conduct.
It’s nearing his boiling point.
Growing hotter by the second.
Boiling point,
This pain is of the essence.
His boiling point.

He won’t give in this time,
The evil inside will not prevail.
Though boiling up inside him,
He makes the choice to run like hell.
Away from destruction,
Away from the pain,
To be the man that brings life again.

Bump because I'd really like some feedback!

You know........this is very close to "being there".I think the first stanza is a little "wordy"as well as the fifth.I think if you edited a little bit.........another Kerri Faye gold piece!
After another read thru,this is a good poem,but for a song,with a beat,it needs to be able to bounce,if you get my drift.(Bounce as in rhythm is what I mean.Not in "go away"!!!)

I really like the story this tells and doesn't quite tell at the same time. It left me wondering and I like that.

Thank you both! Perhaps I'll go back and edit a bit someday soon!