Sketches (1st song i ever wrote)

When i get in my 30's
What kind of life will i have?
The ones you see in a romance movie
Or a drama
The woman mourns on the kitchen floor
The husband with his hands on his head
Thinking what went wrong
When did things get so bad

I like to believe
People can be
Exactly what they imagine as kids
And if you believe
Maybe you'll see
A brand new kind of world made for just you and me

But people
Grow up and start thinking about their own problems
Like it was the end of the world
They let the dreams become sketches in a paper
And the brand new world dies
But i won't let it die

I'll fly
Like a bird who never flew before
Cautious and brave, rising and falling
I'll take all the chances to make it right
Embracing my fears
Starting it now
I'll fly so high
I won't barely see the skies

Mom told me i needed to to work from 8 to 6 in a business company
This is not my melody
What about the plans that i used to make
College, travels, growing
Now i'm awake
Crying tonight in my room
People hear a choky voice
But i'm screaming out
Is this my doom?
I made many sketches of my future life
I won't let them die

I'll fly
Like a bird who never flew before
Cautious and brave, rising and falling
I'll take all the chances to make it right
Embracing my fears
Starting it now
I'll fly so high
I won't barely see the skies

+Hi, Luisa
Okay, I like your title.
I see that you're new here. So welcome and congratulations for posting your first song to us.
I am going to split my comment/feedback up into two parts.

When I finished reading your lyrics, I thought that it was missing something, it was kinda shortish. The first verse was like an intro, explaining the problem; and then there's the second verse which basically describes your thoughts and feelings. And the last verse was kinda... I mean I actually don't think it's finished. Here's a suggestion: you could tell how you won't let it die. Basically it was kinda short. But I see a lot of room for improvement since this is your first song. Although I, myself do not write songs; as the audience, I wouldn't like it if a song was that short. Also, maybe you could use more dramatic words for example you said "cries" when it could have been "wails", "sobs", or even "mourns".

Okay second part = Last line, first verse, would work better if the "got" was changed to "get". Some lines are long, some are short. <- Just pointing that out. I remember my English teacher telling me never to use 'kids' but to use 'children' because baby goats are kids. But since this is a song and children would take up an extra syllable, it doesn't really matter. Everybody understands what you mean when you say 'kids'.

In all the comments I have said, some might be wrong in your point of view. For example, if you actually wanted to use "got" on purpose, I didn't know so sorry if I was way to critical. I could take everything back, you know.

If you don't like what I said, you could ignore me.

As I said, there is a lot of room for improvement. But since this is your first song, just relax and take it easy. Keep working on it! -

your feedback was really helpful! Sorry if i made some grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. So, i added the rest of the song. The rhymes are not the best, the structure is not perfect, the lyrics are neither, but i'll work on it. Thanks

+Never mind if English is your first language or not.
At least, have the heart to work with it.
English was my third language actually.-

+Your addition has improved the song. Although when you said "I won't barely see the skies" I kinda had to take a few seconds to figure out what you went. Maybe you could simplify that because I think that "won't barely" barely fits into the song. -