Echo

Is there ever an easy route
to dig the hardness out
kick the can
fluff the pillows
and bed me down again
Angel falling through the cloud
will never be too proud
to beg off reality
and embrace the vanity
that keeps me asking can it be
Can it be tomorrow already
Can it be
Can it be

My moon my man
and his 5 star band
guitar in perfect tune and
drums beating out the track
to the way back

The nightmare is done
so why am I still running
Is there ever an easy way
to just live for today
and defy the lie
that hides under silken sheets
and mama's heartbeat
Is it never enough
Is it never enough
Is it never enough

One line is borrowed from a song by Feist.

Originally Posted by Teshka

Is there ever an easy route
to dig the hardness out
kick the can
fluff the pillows
somehow I wish there was a different way you could express those lines above, cuz it comes across a little bit obvious if you know what I mean, the rest of the stanza below is however interesting. Both in terms of imagery and construction.
and bed me down again
Angel falling through the cloud
will never be too proud
to beg off reality
and embrace the vanity
that keeps me asking can it be
Can it be tomorrow already
Can it be
Can it be

My moon my man
and his 5 star band
guitar in perfect tune and
drums beating out the track
to the way back
The way you start this stanza however makes up for an interesting aesthetic, which already sets out an image to it. You also create a good open last line there, which flows nicely to the next stanza.

The nightmare is done
so why am I still running
Is there ever an easy way
to just live for today
and defy the lie
that hides under silken sheets
and mama's heartbeat
Is it never enough
Is it never enough
Is it never enough

This is more interesting than my first impression was. I especially like how you end the last stanza...drawing it out with an echo and a speaking heartbeat sorta..actually a really enjoyable read.

Now off with my elitetism I go!

tysm Eccer and I totally get what you're saying.....tbh I wrote this in about 15 mins and now to me several lines seem kind of trite, but i just really wanted to get that brief flash of feeling written out while it was there. I'll try to remember to come back later and see if i can write a version 2.....