Breath

I can't go on anymore

Just close your eyes
Soon it will be over
The nights are getting colder
As you hold on to what is left
And leave the past behind

No more pain
No more hate

Close your eyes it will be alright
The light in your eyes is fading in
Take your last breath
As you slowly fade away
I won't let go till the end

I can't go on without you here
Nothings right since you've gone away
Falling into pieces I'm slowly losing me
Trying to figure out what it's like
To leave this all behind

No more pain
No more hate

Close your eyes it will be alright
The light in your eyes is fading in
Take your last breath
As you slowly fade away
I won't let go till the end

I'm losing you your losing
Holding on to you till the end
Slowly we all watch it fall away
Falling further and further away

Close your eyes it will be alright
The light in your eyes is fading in
Take your last breath
As you slowly fade away
I won't let go till the end

I can't go on anymore

There's some nice rhymes here but In my opinion it seems a bit repetitive but the bones of what you got aren't bad.

Matt

I like it all except for the "The light in your eyes is fading in" line. I'm not qualified to critique just wanted to offer my opinion.
Keep, em coming.

This was something quick I wrote last night.

No worries, I understand. Seems every time I go out for a smoke something new comes to my head.

Just adding my 2 cents.

Yea I get you there. Some are ok and others are great.