In A Moment

Okay. I thought the second verse was a little weak, but have I now overdone it?
I'm not fragile - honest opinions appreciated. [and I still has no real music]

In A Moment - v2(cc) Justin Cayce, 2015
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I've made it to another morn
Another false day starts to dawn
Still looking for a bright tomorrow
But today is grey and hollow
My faith and hope are dead as dust
My charity's begun to rust
Trapped between my ego's vanity
An' the fear I've lost my sanity

But in a moment
I'm gonna drink some wine
In a moment
I'm gonna feel quite fine
In a moment
I'll lose (all) track of time
To think that you were nearly mine
In a moment...

When I was young I was the one
Who recklessly ran on and on
And lost my way in days to come
And played with shadow far too long
Though years had gone I took a chance
I thought that I could join the dance
And disappear from life’s mundanities
And cling forever to my fantasies

But in a moment I will drink more wine
And in a moment I will feel quite fine
And in a moment I will slip through time
And think of when life seemed to rhyme
In a moment...

But by the time that you were twenty-one
You'd seen the moonlight and the sun
You'd seen more sadness turn to madness
And there was nothing could be done
Why you're not near to me is clear
In a moment... love gave way to fear
I didn't know how much I held you dear
Didn't know how far this flame could sear
In a moment...

So in a moment
I will drink more wine
And in a moment
Think about the time
And in a moment
I can say I'm fine
In a moment
Sure it’s just the wine
In a moment...
Just give me a little time
Another moment...
Just give me...
Another moment... ... ..

I haven't seen you around here before, maybe I'm just late to the party!
Anyway, nice work. It's refreshing to read new work of talented individuals.
What really stuck out to me was:
But by the time that you were twenty-one
You'd seen the moonlight and the sun
You'd seen more sadness turn to madness
And there was nothing could be done

I think it just flows very nicely and I could "hear" it in my head. I like that the chorus is simple, yet gives a lot of insight still.
Hope my rambling is useful!

I'm new to this website and thought I would try reviewing some lyrics from other members!

I really enjoyed this. You didn't really stick to anything predictable in the sense that some writers/lyricists do. The descriptions were well done and I for one am a visual person when it comes to lyrics/poetry. This song has alot of potential, in that I mean that with music you could make it a nice journey for the listener.Very poetic and creative! Keep it up!

" When I was young I was the one
Who recklessly ran on and on
And lost my way in days to come
And played with shadow far too long"

Really cool.