Song lyrics - I'll welcome your review!

Thread: Song lyrics - I'll welcome your review!

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  1. Wpfearnley said:

    Default Song lyrics - I'll welcome your review!

    These are the first lyrics I've written - please don't hesitate to give me criticism!

    Laid in the darkness of your own room,
    Another poor attempt at writing a tune,
    Itís all futile cause youíre the loom,
    That softly threads all your own gloom.

    I wonít look at you like I have something to say,
    They say everythingís gonna be okay,
    and that in time things will start going your way,
    You tell yourself that almost every day.

    Mornings are always the same,
    Headache, nausea and pain,
    Friends are calling out your name,
    But they never see the rain, which you so frantically tame.

    Four walls and a roof might build a home,
    But that means nothing when you feel alone.
    Pent up envy spreads through your bones,
    You wish you were made of stone.

    Your insignificance is the cause of your malevolence,
    Things you hide with pretence remain relentless.
    No longer can you be selfless, try to numb your senses
    Youíre fed up of hindsight and second guesses.
     
  2. Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar

    Kerri Faye Yates said:

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    These 4 lines really struck me.
    "Four walls and a roof might build a home,
    But that means nothing when you feel alone.
    Pent up envy spreads through your bones,
    You wish you were made of stone."
    ~Kerri Faye
     
  3. Masterminor said:

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    This truly speaks to me, I feel like this daily. Keep up the good work!
     
  4. as4uif said:

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    i like it...
     
  5. m_prestige7@yahoo.com said:

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    this is a good song we are kindred spirits I forgot my songs at home I don't nobody to steal them away from me. maybe you can help me with my songs and give me some criticism.
     
  6. tonypt said:

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    I thought it was pretty good.