I'm not a rapper, I was bored...

I'm not a rapper, just a 22 year old girl who just watched "Unpretty Rapstar" - a rap tv show and decided I wanted to write some crap, um. I'm basically not even into HARDCORE hip-hop. Don't really even care... It's 3am and I just decided to write this just now... Being a lyricist is a dream of mine, but probably something i'll never fulfill. Tell me what you think I guess... (Note: Just came up with this just now.)


Title: Empty

A:
I used to have dreams, when my teachers told me
You can be anything, be who you wanna be
I felt like I could fly, all I had to do was try
But then the years went by, now all I do is cry

Well I don't, 'cause I can't. But I wish that I could
This pain, this anger, this feeling, is so good.

Uh, if I told you about my life, it'd be so underrated.
Yeah I know, the life i've got, got to appreciate it.
I used to be a kid once, yeah I was innocent
The innocence is gone, pain's the new replacement

Chorus:

All the good times are gone,
now i'm feeling all alone
All the pain I used to feel
Now ain't got nothing on me

All the good times are gone,
When i'm feeling all alone
Close my eyes and fall asleep
Drain me, till i'm empty

__________________________________________________ ____________

Became too lazy and uncreative to finish it, but I made a little "clip" of how it's supposed to sound like or how it sounded in my head when I was writing it....
(Recorded on my phone - As I said i'm not a rapper, lmfao - I also don't sing that well... This is just a WIP I guess, whatever - Took me like 15 mins or something to do all this, so yeah I didn't do it with effort.)

CLIP: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UpcILcfGuR
- Please turn down your sound.

I really liked the fifth and sixth line. nice job.

Well, my raps are probably equal to yours. It's not crap!