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Thread: Jim Colyer

  1. #21
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    Default Music Is Free

    MUSIC IS FREE

    Ain't no publisher
    Gonna pitch your song
    Ain't no deals
    Those days are gone
    It's all on youtube
    Come with me
    There for the listening
    Music Is Free

    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    The worldwide web
    Changed everything
    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    Type in my name
    Watch me sing

    Ain't no label
    Gonna sign you now
    The Internet killed
    The cash cow
    Ain't no manager
    With a big contract
    Colonel Parker's dead
    Ain't coming back

    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    The worldwide web
    Changed everything
    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    Type in my name
    Watch me sing

    It's a public library
    No one gets paid
    But if you're good
    You might get laid

    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    The worldwide web
    Changed everything
    Music Is Free
    Music Is Free
    Type in my name
    Watch me sing

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  2. #22
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    Default I Am Not A Racist

    Please don't call me a racist
    I'd rather die than be a racist
    Hang by the neck than be a racist
    Get the electric chair than be a racist

    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist

    Please don't call me a racist
    I'd rather drown than be a racist
    Swallow poison than be a racist
    Take a lethal injection than be a racist

    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist

    No racist
    No racist
    No racist
    No racist

    Please don't call me a racist
    I'd rather crash my car than be a racist
    Face a firing squad than be a racist
    Be castrated than be a racist

    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist
    I Am Not A Racist

    Please
    Please
    I beg you
    Please don't call me a racist

    Jim Colyer ascap
    http://www.jimcolyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  3. #23
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    Default Blue Goddess

    She's so beautiful
    Looks like a goddess
    Even without makeup
    And her hair a mess
    She's so lovely
    Classic features
    But tonight
    She's a Blue Goddess

    Blue Goddess
    She lost her man
    To another woman
    Hard to understand
    Beauty's skin deep
    Not all are impressed
    Under its spell
    Blue Goddess

    Got that body
    An hourglass figure
    Looking so feminine
    Pretty as a picture
    In her bluejeans
    Sexy red dress
    But tonight
    She's a Blue Goddess

    Blue Goddess
    She lost her man
    To another woman
    Hard to understand
    Beauty's skin deep
    Not all are impressed
    Under its spell
    Blue Goddess

    She's down in the dumps
    Blue as can be
    Maybe this time
    She'll come with me

    Blue Goddess
    She lost her man
    To another woman
    Hard to understand
    Beauty's skin deep
    Not all are impressed
    Under its spell
    Blue Goddess

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  4. #24
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    Default Wounds

    I Got Wounds
    They're deep
    Bloody
    Wanna see?
    I got scars
    Bruises
    I'm marred
    A loser

    I Got Wounds
    I'm battered
    Broken
    I'm tattered
    Been hurt
    Betrayed
    Bad feelings
    Everyday

    Life's hard
    Mean streak
    Keeps you down
    On your knees

    I Got Wounds
    They're deep
    Bloody
    Wanna see?
    I'm tore up
    Jagged
    I'm lost
    Ragged

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  5. #25
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    Default Genius

    I'm no Genius
    Average on a good day
    On a bad day, well
    We won't talk about it
    Everything I know
    Comes from reading books
    The thoughts of others
    I don't doubt it

    I'm no Genius
    I'll leave that to Lennon
    John Lennon and Ray Charles
    Groucho Marx and Lenin
    I'm no Genius
    Some call me a hack
    I just like women
    Especially if they're stacked

    Speaking of women
    They're my Achilles heel
    They're my only weakness
    Just to cop a feel
    Just to be kissed
    Just to get laid
    Just to be noticed
    In my old age

    I'm no Genius
    I'll leave that to Lennon
    John Lennon and Ray Charles
    Groucho Marx and Lenin
    I'm no Genius
    Some call me a hack
    I just like women
    Especially if they're stacked

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  6. #26
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    THINGS COULD BE WORSE

    He told me of
    An empty tomb
    And how Jesus
    Rose from the dead
    He doesn't know
    That empty tomb
    Is just on paper
    And in his head

    Things Could Be Worse
    That's what he told me
    But I don't see how
    If you do, show me
    Things'll be better
    When Jesus lifts the curse
    That's what he said
    Things Could Be Worse

    When he was done
    He passed the plate
    He needed money
    To perpetuate
    The Lord's work
    And to buy a coat
    To buy a car
    And pay the house note

    Things Could Be Worse
    That's what he told me
    But I don't see how
    If you do, show me
    Things'll be better
    When Jesus lifts the curse
    That's what he said
    Things Could Be Worse

    I can't love Jesus
    I'm not gay
    I love KymBo
    Cos she's a babe

    Things Could Be Worse
    That's what he told me
    But I don't see how
    If you do, show me
    Things'll be better
    When Jesus lifts the curse
    That's what he said
    Things Could Be Worse

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  7. #27
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    SHE USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL

    She Used To Be Beautiful
    But now she's ugly
    She was so sexy
    When she loved me
    She used to be a ten
    Now she looks like crap
    She hasn't aged well
    In the middle-age trap

    She Used To Be Beautiful
    How her hair shone
    Her blue eyes sparkled
    When she was young
    But she went downhill
    Got that sagging skin
    Thirty pounds overweight
    Got that double chin

    Funny how women fade
    Just like wilted flowers
    Completely fall apart
    Once they hit forty

    She Used To Be Beautiful
    But now she's ugly
    She was so sexy
    When she loved me
    She used to be a stunner
    When our love was new
    Now she looks like Hillary
    Looks like Rosie too

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  8. #28
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    WAR

    I minored in history
    The study of War
    Every War we fought
    I was there

    I fought the British
    In the Revolution
    I fought them again
    In 1812
    I fought the *******s
    In the Mexican War
    Me and James Polk
    War is hell

    The Civil War confused
    It made no sense
    Lincoln should've stopped it
    Our worst president
    Then came Spain
    Teddy Roosevelt
    I was a Rough Rider
    In this event

    I minored in history
    The study of War
    Every War we fought
    I was there

    The Indians were savage
    They liked taking scalps
    I was in the cavalry
    I was there to help
    I won the west
    Built the railroads
    I fought Sitting Bull
    Spanked Geronimo

    World War I
    Though called the Great War
    Was but a foreshadow
    Of what was to come
    World War II
    Changed everything
    I went nuclear
    When it was done

    I minored in history
    The study of War
    Every War we fought
    I was there

    Off to Korea
    And the War of politics
    Truman said we had
    To contain the Communist
    Vietnam was crazy
    Sixty thousand died
    Jane and I stopped it
    LBJ lied

    The wars of the Bushes
    Took me to the desert
    Iraq and Afghanistan
    Nothing but messes
    I lost the War on Terror
    Muslims in the White House
    Trump will save our country
    Throw Obama out

    I minored in history
    The study of War
    Every War we fought
    I was there

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  9. #29
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    DEATH AS AN ADVENTURE

    That unexplored realm
    The final frontier
    Beyond the beyond
    Beyond all fear
    George Harrison knew
    The art of dying
    No more lying
    No more crying

    Death As An Adventure
    What will it be?
    I'm ready to go
    Ready to see
    The proverbial light
    Or nothing at all
    Excitement awaits
    Adventure calls

    Heaven or hell
    Buddha or Krishna
    Jesus himself
    Sweet Nirvana
    God or Allah
    Clouds of angels
    Reincarnation
    Twenty-some virgins

    Death As An Adventure
    What will it be?
    I'm ready to go
    Ready to see
    The proverbial light
    Or nothing at all
    Excitement awaits
    Adventure calls

    If there's nothing
    I'll never tell
    But nothing beats
    The hell out of hell

    Death As An Adventure
    What will it be?
    I'm ready to go
    Ready to see
    The proverbial light
    Or nothing at all
    Excitement awaits
    Adventure calls

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  10. #30
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    I'M NOBODY

    I'm no picker
    I'm no grinner
    I'm no player
    I'm no winner
    I'm no icon
    I'm no prodigy
    I'm no idol
    I'm no celebrity

    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody

    I'm no hunk
    I'm no pro
    I'm no legend
    No no no
    I'm no star
    VIP
    No red carpet
    For me me me

    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody

    I'm garbage
    Piece of ****
    Big loser
    I accept it

    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody

    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody
    I'm Nobody

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  11. #31
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    WHERE'D THE LAST 20 YEARS GO?

    Seems like 1996
    Was 6 minutes ago
    But it's 2016
    On Music Row
    Seems like Shania
    Should be having hits
    Any Man Of Mine
    High on the charts

    Where'd The Last 20 Years Go
    Somehow they slipped away
    I'm half the man I was
    Back in the day
    How'd the good times disappear
    Tell me if you know
    Help me to understand
    Where'd The Last 20 years go

    Bill was having a picnic
    Brought his women along
    Monica in the White House
    Soon as Hillary was gone
    Paul O'Neill playing right
    Derek Jeter at short
    Joe Torre managed
    Up in New York

    Where'd The Last 20 Years Go
    Somehow they slipped away
    I'm half the man I was
    Back in the day
    How'd the good times disappear
    Tell me if you know
    Help me to understand
    Where'd The Last 20 years go

    I miss my parents
    They were alive then
    Our family was together
    Like it had always been

    Where'd The Last 20 Years Go
    Somehow they slipped away
    I'm half the man I was
    Back in the day
    How'd the good times disappear
    Tell me if you know
    Help me to understand
    Where'd The Last 20 years go

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  12. #32
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    ARYAN GODDESS

    The wisdom of Athena
    The beauty of Aphrodite
    She rules like Hera
    So powerful, so mighty

    Aryan Goddess
    She sustains us
    Aryan Goddess
    She protects us

    Her name is Taylor Swift
    Blonde hair and blue eyes
    Men worship at her feet
    She came from the sky

    Aryan Goddess
    She sustains us
    Aryan Goddess
    She protects us

    She's immortal
    Superior in every way
    Her youth is eternal
    She'll never age

    Arms like Greek marble
    Straight from Mount Olympus
    Got cherry red lips
    Pure and statuesque

    Aryan Goddess
    She sustains us
    Aryan Goddess
    She protects us

    Aryan Goddess
    She sustains us
    Aryan Goddess
    She protects us

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  13. #33
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    I SAW JESUS LAST NIGHT

    I Saw Jesus Last Night
    He stepped out of King of Kings
    That movie from 1961
    He wasn't missing a thing
    He had the shoulder length hair
    And the flowing white robe
    He was obviously Anglo-Saxon
    And his halo shone like gold

    I Saw Jesus Last Night
    He sat there on my bed
    Laid on his hands, spoke in tongues
    We prayed together, then he said
    Let's ride in my flying saucer
    See places you've never seen
    Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and Venus
    The Virgo cluster of galaxies

    There were hundreds of UFO reports
    As I caught a glimpse of heaven
    I thought I was on LSD
    Such a good time we were having

    I Saw Jesus Last Night
    He stepped out of King of Kings
    That movie from 1961
    He wasn't missing a thing
    He had those spaced-out eyes
    Had the nail marks in his hands
    I knew he was the Son of God
    I knew he was the Son of Man

    When our trip was over
    Jesus tucked me in bed
    Visions of sugar plums
    Danced in my head

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  14. #34
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    YOUR MEMORY HAUNTS ME

    I meet new guys
    We get along fine
    But I think about you
    Half of the time
    I think about how
    You and I used to be
    I've got to confess
    Your Memory Haunts Me

    I know life goes on
    And we can't look back
    Seems we ran our course
    We lost our knack
    Still I watch the door
    Hoping you want me
    I've got to confess
    Your Memory Haunts Me

    We had our year
    I should be grateful
    Year and a half
    I should be thankful

    You've got a new love
    You left me behind
    But I think about you
    Half of the time
    I think about how
    You and I used to be
    I've got to confess
    Your Memory Haunts Me

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  15. #35
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    FUN CROWD

    Fun Crowd
    At Santa's tonight
    Singing Beatles
    Feeling right
    Small group
    Having fun
    Won't quit
    Til we're done

    Fun Crowd
    At Santa's tonight
    Singing ABBA
    Outta sight
    Elton John
    Benny and the Jets
    Dancing Queen
    Taking all bets

    I wish that girl
    With the legs had stayed
    I was ready to pounce
    When she walked away

    Fun Crowd
    At Santa's tonight
    Singing Beatles
    Feeling right
    Dive bar
    Best in town
    If you're here
    Come around

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  16. #36
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    70s GIRLS

    70s Girls were something to see
    We saw them there on our TVs
    Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke
    Loved to watch her sexy strut
    Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman
    Gave wet dreams to every man
    Lynda's cleavage drove me wild
    She kicked *** in 70s style

    I can't forget Susan Anton
    A five-foot-eleven Amazon
    She had blonde hair, big blue eyes
    That Golden Girl blew my mind
    Charlie's Angels on the tube
    Jacklyn Smith sure was cute
    Farrah Fawcett had that hair
    She was our 70s poster girl

    Show stoppers
    Jaw droppers
    Show stoppers
    Eye poppers

    70S Girls were something to see
    We saw them there on our TVs
    You may recall Valerie Perrine
    Man, those legs were so divine
    Teri Garr and the ABBA girls
    Agnetha and Frida rocked my world
    So did Olivia Newton-John
    Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run

    Jim Colyer ascap
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  17. #37
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY

    Seems like yesterday
    I was 21
    Jim Morrison
    Summer of love
    Seems like yesterday
    I was 33
    Gerry Rafferty
    Baker Street

    Seems Like Yesterday
    Where did it go?
    Pretty soon
    I'll be old
    Seems Like Yesterday
    I was a kid
    Pretty soon
    I'll be dead

    Seems Like Yesterday
    Shania Twain
    Come On Over
    In my brain
    I turned 70
    Singing Girl Crush
    Slow down, man
    What's the rush?

    Seems Like Yesterday
    Where did it go?
    Pretty soon
    I'll be old
    Seems Like Yesterday
    I was a kid
    Pretty soon
    I'll be dead

    Can't give up
    Gotta keep trying
    Sure seems like
    Time keeps flying

    Seems Like Yesterday
    Where did it go?
    Pretty soon
    I'll be old
    Seems Like Yesterday
    I was a kid
    Pretty soon
    I'll be dead

    Jimcolyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  18. #38
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    HONG KONG OR BUST

    I hate those airports
    Those security lines
    They single me out
    Every damn time
    But I'll go anyway
    Up Victoria Peak
    To old Hong Kong
    They can't stop me

    Hong Kong Or Bust
    4 days and 3 nights
    Learn some Chinese
    See all the sights
    Those Chinese girls
    They make me lust
    Ready or not
    Hong Kong Or Bust

    Victoria Harbor
    As seen from the Peak
    My friend, Big Buddha
    He's such a geek
    Eat lots of noodles
    Ride the Star Ferry
    Find a young girl
    Maybe get married

    Hong Kong Or Bust
    4 days and 3 nights
    Learn some Chinese
    See all the sights
    Those Chinese girls
    They make me lust
    Ready or not
    Hong Kong Or Bust

    Gotta be careful
    with the TSA
    Them jerks might try
    To ruin my day

    Hong Kong Or Bust
    4 days and 3 nights
    Learn some Chinese
    See all the sights
    Those Chinese girls
    They make me lust
    Ready or not
    Hong Kong Or Bust

    jimcolyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  19. #39
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    THIS IS LIKE TORTURE

    She gets him down on the floor
    In her Wonder Woman outfit
    She spanks him with her Fli-Back
    Cos she knows he loves it
    She spanks him til he laughs
    She spanks him til he screams
    She spanks him til he cries
    She spanks him til he creams

    This Is Like Torture
    This is like heaven
    This is like ecstasy
    This Is Like Torture

    He calls her Mrs. Peel
    Cos she knows how to avenge
    She's a true dominatrix
    Cos she gets her way with men
    He's just a little boy
    Laying across her lap
    She takes off her belt
    Uses it as a strap

    This Is Like Torture
    This is like heaven
    This is like ecstasy
    This Is Like Torture

    I was just a novice
    When she took hold of me
    Got my initiation
    In the ways of B&D

    This Is Like Torture
    This is like heaven
    This is like ecstasy
    This Is Like Torture

    This Is Like Torture
    This is like heaven
    This is like ecstasy
    This Is Like Torture
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

  20. #40
    Senior Member Jim Colyer's Avatar
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    $2 COFFEE

    Waffle House
    Saturday morning
    They got a new menu
    Without warning

    Just pour me some
    Of that $2 Coffee
    You know the price
    Of food is awful
    That ***** won't even
    Gimme a refill
    There'll be no tip
    Added to the bill

    Cracker Barrel
    On Sunday night
    Can't afford to eat
    The price ain't right

    I remember when
    Coffee was a dime
    Now it's multiplied
    Twenty times

    Just pour me some
    Of that $2 Coffee
    You know the price
    Of food is awful
    That ***** won't even
    Gimme a refill
    There'll be no tip
    Added to the bill

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums

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