Jim Colyer

Thread: Jim Colyer

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    Jim Colyer said:

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    COUNTER-PUNCHER

    I attack no one
    Unless they attack me
    I hurt no one
    Unless they hurt me
    Then I strike back
    Come off the ropes
    Hit them hard
    Rope them dopes

    Counter-Puncher
    It's self-defense
    Get off the floor
    Get off the fence
    Counter-Puncher
    In for the kill
    Bring them down
    Exert my will

    I love everyone
    Until they hate me
    I care for everyone
    Until they harm me
    Then I hit hard
    Atomic bomb
    We'll be friends
    Just stay calm

    Counter-Puncher
    It's self-defense
    Get off the floor
    Get off the fence
    Counter-Puncher
    In for the kill
    Bring them down
    Exert my will

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    HIGH ON THE STARS

    He talked about his mother
    Said she was on medication
    I misunderstood
    Thought she was on vacation
    I don't believe in that stuff
    Taking pills ain't smart
    I get high on the sun
    I get High On The Stars

    She talked about her doctor
    Must have been in love
    That's how women are
    Their husbands aren't enough
    Women are from Venus
    Men are from Mars
    I get high on the moon
    I get High On The Stars

    Antares, Canopus
    Deneb, Arcturus
    Betelgeuse, Vega
    Spica, Capella
    Rigel, Sirius
    Altair, Regulus
    Beta Crucis
    Alpha Centauri

    My favorite is Achernar
    In the southern sky
    Of the 21 brightest
    I'm not sure why
    Women are from Venus
    Men are from Mars
    I get high on the moon
    I get High On The Stars

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    Play http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/fla....xml%3Ft%3D120

    I wrote this in 1967 with Dolly Parton in mind

    WELCOME MAT
    Most anyone at my front door is welcome
    With a special invitation for a few
    But long as I've got right to my own choosing
    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you

    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you
    I've made it clear, I don't care what you do
    My door's one that you're not passing through
    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you

    You've been trouble ever since I've known you
    But I ain't had the heart to put you down
    Now there's someone else that I've been seeing
    And my new friend won't want you around

    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you
    I've made it clear, I don't care what you do
    You're headed wrong on a one-way avenue
    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you

    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you
    I'd rather have a monkey in a zoo

    solo

    So don't plan on coming 'round when I'm alone
    Don't call my number on your telephone
    I don't want no stupid letters in my mail
    Unless you want to find yourself in jail

    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you
    I've made it clear, I don't care what you do
    So hit the road, I'm sorry, but it's true
    That Welcome Mat's not out there for you

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    REVIVAL

    It's a 50s Revival
    Singing Blue Suede Shoes
    Elvis Revival
    Singing GI Blues
    It's a 60s Revival
    Singing Nowhere Man
    Beatles Revival
    I Wanna Hold Your Hand

    Bringing these songs
    Outta the past
    You know these classics
    Are gonna last
    Singing these songs
    In a karaoke bar
    It's my turn
    To be a star

    I love these songs
    Oh so much
    It's up to me
    To carry the torch

    It's a 70s Revival
    Singing Dancing Queen
    ABBA Revival
    Take A Chance On Me
    It's a 90s Revival
    From This Moment On
    Shania Revival
    You're Still The One

    Bringing these songs
    Outta the past
    You know these classics
    Are gonna last
    Singing these songs
    In a karaoke bar
    It's my turn
    To be a star

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    HALF GOOD, HALF BAD

    I've been divorced
    Quite a while
    I like to make
    The young women smile
    I like to hang out
    I like to flirt
    They never know
    I've been hurt

    Half Good, Half Bad
    Part happy, part sad
    That's my life
    Half Good, Half Bad

    Sometimes I score
    I get someone
    Bring her home
    Have some fun
    But they're few
    And far between
    Half the time
    I'm lonely and mean

    Half Good, Half Bad
    Part happy, part sad
    That's my life
    Half Good, Half Bad

    Fifty percent's
    Better than nothing
    At least I know
    I've got something

    Half Good, Half Bad
    Part happy, part sad
    That's my life
    Half Good, Half Bad

    Half Good, Half Bad
    Part happy, part sad
    That's my life
    Half Good, Half Bad

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    Never knew if it was about a girl or a guy.
    http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/fla...t.xml%3Ft%3D64

    MAKINGS OF A STAR

    She packs them in every night
    To watch her sing and dance
    And once you've laid eyes on her
    You haven't got a chance
    She's got you in her spell
    As she strums her guitar
    She's got the Makings Of A Star

    She's played in Las Vegas
    Nashville and Hollywood
    Everyone who's seen her
    Says she's mighty good
    Everyone's agreed
    This girl's going far
    She's got the Makings Of A Star

    I remember when this star
    Was just a hometown kid
    Starry-eyed and dreaming glory
    Playing guitar on her bed
    I remember when she told me
    She could never stop
    Fame was all that really mattered
    And she'd get to the top

    solo

    So once more she's out on stage
    Performing in her show
    Responding to applause and people
    That's what makes her go
    She's a mystery to us
    But she knows who we are
    She's got the Makings Of A Star
    She's got the Makings Of A Star
    She's got the Makings Of A Star

    jimcolyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    OUT IN VEGAS

    Out In Vegas
    At a big hotel
    Playing poker
    Raising hell
    In walked a woman
    In a green dress
    More important things
    Than getting rich

    Out In Vegas
    Rolling the dice
    Dealing the cards
    Aces are nice
    In walked a woman
    She told me her name
    Her name was Margaret
    I left the game

    We spent that night
    In a queen size bed
    Best damn sex
    I ever had

    Out In Vegas
    Spinning the wheel
    In the casino
    Making a kill
    In walked a woman
    In a green dress
    More important things
    Than getting rich

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    THOUGHTS

    Every morning I wake up
    And I'm surprised to find
    That I'm still alive
    I didn't die in the night
    I'm a bit disappointed
    While a bit relieved
    That the Reaper himself
    Didn't come for me

    I hate facing another day
    Knowing they're all the same
    Exercises in futility
    A pointless pursuit of fame
    Staring into a computer
    Until I'm frozen stiff
    Critiquing others' songs
    Posting my own lyrics

    Every night I lay in bed
    Wondering if I'll awake
    Knowing I'll have bad dreams
    Chaotic images in my brain
    I'm a bit disappointed
    While a bit relieved
    That the Reaper himself
    May come for me

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    WHEN I HIT BOTTOM

    I've been down to Memphis
    Three or four times
    Took my son to Graceland
    To ease my mind
    We hung out on Beale Street
    The Heartbreak Hotel
    Lonely Street
    Rock n' roll hell

    When I Hit Bottom
    I put on Elvis CDs
    He may be gone
    But his spirit's with me
    When I Hit Bottom
    I turn to the king
    Play that blues, boy
    Play that thing

    If there's a perfect record
    It has to be "Hound Dog"
    Scotty's guitar is like
    Falling from a log
    I feel every note
    I feel every beat
    I feel every word
    I feel the heat

    When I Hit Bottom
    I put on Elvis CDs
    He may be gone
    But his spirit's with me
    When I Hit Bottom
    I turn to the king
    Play that blues, boy
    Play that thing

    He's been gone
    Almost forty years
    You know those women
    Shed some tears

    When I Hit Bottom
    I put on Elvis CDs
    He may be gone
    But his spirit's with me
    When I Hit Bottom
    I turn to the king
    Play that blues, boy
    Play that thing

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    SUPERIOR GIRL

    She's a Taylor Swift
    Without the money
    Such a sweetie
    Dripping with honey
    She's just starting
    In pre-fame
    One day soon
    She'll make a name

    (She's a) Superior Girl
    Don't put her down
    You can bet your life
    Money will come
    Superior Girl
    She's going far
    Hang on to her
    She's a star

    She's a newcomer
    On her way up
    Stay with her
    Don't break up

    Don't rip down her photos
    Cos you'll regret it
    Better make her
    Your love interest
    Clear blue eyes
    Sweet sexy smile
    Golden girl
    Got that style

    (She's a) Superior Girl
    Don't put her down
    You can bet your life
    Money will come
    Superior Girl
    She's going far
    Hang on to her
    She's a star

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    ROLL MY EYES

    When we go out
    It takes two hours
    For you to get ready
    It's all gone sour
    We're in the car
    You're on the phone
    Telling your mom
    You might come home

    You make me Roll My Eyes
    Grit my teeth
    Clinch my fists
    Stomp my feet

    You love your dog
    You love your cat
    You eat too much
    You're gonna get fat
    You started to snore
    I'm sleeping alone
    In the back room
    On my own

    You make me Roll My Eyes
    Grit my teeth
    Clinch my fists
    Stomp my feet

    You made up your mind
    To control the TV
    Now you say
    You'll vote for Hillary

    You make me Roll My Eyes
    Grit my teeth
    Clinch my fists
    Stomp my feet

    You make me Roll My Eyes
    Grit my teeth
    Clinch my fists
    Stomp my feet

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    Tight

    The more you give
    The more they want
    So I never tip
    In restaurants
    I never give
    To charities
    They should give
    Money to me

    I'm Tight
    Tight as a flea
    Stretched over
    A rainbarrel
    I'm Tight
    Tighter than Scrooge
    At your
    Xmas party

    When I see a bum
    Begging on the street
    Holding a sign
    No one can read
    I drive on by
    Shooting the bird
    Hey! Get a job!
    You lazy nerd

    I'm Tight
    Tight as a flea
    Stretched over
    A rainbarrel
    I'm Tight
    Tighter than Scrooge
    At your
    Xmas party

    Never go to church
    And I never tithe
    I keep my money
    Locked inside

    I'm Tight
    Tight as a flea
    Stretched over
    A rainbarrel
    I'm Tight
    Tighter than Scrooge
    At your
    Xmas party

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    PLEASE! PLEASE! SOMEBODY LOVE ME! - I tried to get this to Mindy McCready
    http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/fla....xml%3Ft%3D114

    I'm an old-fashion girl
    I'm driven by the basic needs
    I need a man to tame my body
    And ease my mind
    I need a man to hold me close
    Whisper in my ear
    I need a man who's understanding
    Gentle and kind

    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody make a move and take away this hate
    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody love me now before it's too late

    I was hurt before in a one-way love
    I get lonely
    I get bitter when I think about
    The way I was done
    I go crazy when I'm by myself
    It's tough being on my own
    I go crazy with just the thought
    Of sleeping alone

    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody calm me down and put a leash on my pride
    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody drive away these demons inside

    solo

    I'm co-dependent, suicidal, schizophrenic
    My worst enemy
    I'm going postal
    If somebody doesn't pay some attention to me

    I'm an old-fashion girl
    I'm driven by the basic needs
    I need a man to tame my body
    And ease my mind
    I need a man to hold me close
    Whisper in my ear
    I need a man who's understanding
    Gentle and kind

    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody make a move and take away this hate
    Please! Please! Somebody Love Me!
    Somebody love me now before it's too late
    Somebody love me now before it's too late

    Jim Colyer
    http://www.jimcolyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    BREAKING NEWS!

    I realized it this morning
    When I woke from a dream
    I had to text and tell you
    I've made the quantum leap
    Broadcast it to the world
    So everyone will know
    Put it on Fox news
    So my love will grow

    Breaking News!
    I want you
    Breaking News!
    I need you
    Breaking News!
    I love you
    Breaking News!
    I want you

    I'll tell all our friends
    I'll run through the streets
    Shout out the good news
    You swept me off my feet
    I'll post it on facebook
    It's hot off the press
    I'll send out a tweet
    I love you the best

    Breaking News!
    I want you
    Breaking News!
    I need you
    Breaking News!
    I love you
    Breaking News!
    I want you

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    WOMEN ARE LIKE FRUIT

    For one perfect moment
    They're sweet and savory
    For one perfect moment
    They're oh so tasty

    Women Are Like Fruit
    They grow
    They mature
    Reach perfection
    Then shrivel
    Like apples
    Like oranges
    Like bananas

    In their mid-twenties
    Women ripen
    Better strike then
    Or they'll be rotten

    Women Are Like Fruit
    They grow
    They mature
    Reach perfection
    Then shrivel
    Like apples
    Like oranges
    Like bananas

    Women Are Like Fruit
    They start out green
    Then they blossom
    Peaches and cream

    Women Are Like Fruit
    They grow
    They mature
    Reach perfection
    Then shrivel
    Like apples
    Like oranges
    Like bananas

    I'm telling you, son
    Women Are Like Fruit
    Better act now
    If you're gonna do it

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    PERFECT WOMAN

    The Perfect Woman has no parents
    No mother to interfere
    No father to guard his daughter
    No brother to cause me fear

    The Perfect Woman is like a goddess
    The Perfect Woman never grows old
    The Perfect Woman is always warm
    The Perfect Woman is never cold

    The Perfect Woman has no sister
    Calling constantly on the phone
    The Perfect Woman has no pets
    Dogs or cats in the home

    The Perfect Woman is like a goddess
    The Perfect Woman never grows old
    The Perfect Woman is always warm
    The Perfect Woman is never cold

    There was one Perfect Woman
    And her name was Eve
    Even she screwed up
    It's all mythology
    Eve was tempted by evil
    Then she tempted her man
    They ate forbidden fruit
    Corrupted God's plan

    I've lost the Perfect Woman
    Would find her if I could
    I know I'll die alone
    Not settle for damaged goods

    The Perfect Woman is like a goddess
    The Perfect Woman never grows old
    The Perfect Woman is always warm
    The Perfect Woman is never cold

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    ELVIS ON MY MIND

    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    Gonna sing all the old songs
    Leave my troubles far behind

    I'm gonna sing Burning Love
    Gonna sing Treat Me Nice
    Gonna sing Teddy Bear
    I'm gonna sing One Night

    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    Gonna sing all the old songs
    Leave my troubles far behind

    Blues guitar

    I'm gonna sing Way Down
    Gonna sing All Shook Up
    Gonna sing Money Honey
    I'm gonna sing Too Much

    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    I'm going down to the Beaver
    I got Elvis on my mind
    Gonna sing all the old songs
    Leave my troubles far behind

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    WE GOTTA GET MARRIED

    Divorce comes second
    Marriage come first
    Don't put the cart
    Before the horse
    We'll have a wedding
    Invite all our friends
    Really live it up
    Before it all ends

    We Gotta Get Married
    We Gotta Get Married
    We can't get divorced
    Until we get married

    We'll spend all our money
    Someone else's too
    We'll hire a deejay
    Pay a preacher too

    We Gotta Get Married
    We Gotta Get Married
    We can't get divorced
    Until we get married

    When it's time
    To get divorced
    We'll pay the lawyers
    And pay the court

    We Gotta Get Married
    We Gotta Get Married
    We can't get divorced
    Until we get married

    We Gotta Get Married
    We Gotta Get Married
    We can't get divorced
    Until we get married

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    GATEKEEPERS

    I tried to break into Nashville
    Write myself a hit song
    The Gatekeepers kept me out
    Said my music's all wrong
    They said I sound like the 60s
    And that stuff's out of style
    They threatened to call the cops
    The Gatekeepers threw me out

    Gatekeepers
    Guarding the door
    Human watchdogs
    Guarding the store

    I tried to break into heaven
    Saint Peter stood in my way
    Said I belong somewhere else
    And for my sins I'll pay
    He said I laughed at Jesus
    And I know what it means
    It means I've been banished
    Exiled for eternity

    Gatekeepers
    Guarding the door
    Heavenly watchdogs
    Guarding the store

    Now here I am in hell
    And I'm still writing songs
    With all the dead writers
    It's where we belong

    Gatekeepers
    Guarding the door
    Human watchdogs
    Guarding the store

    Gatekeepers
    Guarding the door
    Heavenly watchdogs
    Guarding the store

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums
     
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    Jim Colyer said:

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    THIRD WIND

    Got my first wind in the 70s
    Ain't nobody could compete with me
    Got me a job, made lots of money
    Jumped in my car, traveled the country
    Now it's time for a real comeback
    Gotta keep moving, that's a fact
    What I need now is a young girl friend
    Gonna find her with my Third Wind

    Got my second wind in the 90s
    Things were better after I retired
    Bought me a house, moved to Elk Creek
    I'm here now even as we speak
    Now it's time to set my sights
    On one more round to set things right
    What I need now is a young girl friend
    Gonna find her with my Third Wind

    If Trump can do it
    So can I
    I'll find her
    Before I die

    Got my first wind in the 70s
    Ain't nobody could compete with me
    Got me a job, made lots of money
    Jumped in my car, traveled the country
    Having my Third Wind in the teens
    I'm leaving soon for the Ukraine
    What I need now is a young girl friend
    Gonna find her with my Third Wind

    JimColyer.com
    Jim Colyer Girl albums