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  1. #1
    Lyriel
    Guest

    Default The Golden Lettered Door

    Hi,
    this is my second (and the fastest: 2hours) song I wrote and I think it's quite okay.
    I'm not english, so I don't know if anything is wrong. Please correct me if there are mistakes.

    Thanks =)


    [CHORUS]:
    Everytime
    I stand in front
    of that golden lettered door
    The strong wall
    I've built up
    all of a sudden crashes down.
    And I kneel down
    in pain of the memories
    that crash with the wall
    I built up after
    leaving my precious godsend.

    [VERSE 1a]:
    My precious friend,
    all the time
    I was carried away
    with the fact You were there for me.
    You know I was glad
    to have met you at last
    Cuz' no nobody else
    could see through me like You could.

    [BRIDGE 1]
    but you know,
    it got hard for me
    to stand your differentness.

    [VERSE 1b]
    I tried so hard
    to do the right thing.
    I thought I could be
    the same friend you were for me.

    [BRIDGE 2]
    But in the end
    My weak heart
    couldn't stand it anymore

    so I ran away from you.

    and everytime
    I stand in front
    of that golden lettered door
    The strong wall
    I've built up
    all of a sudden crashes down.
    and...
    [CHORUS]

    And everyday
    I see your face
    in every picture, person, thing
    and I regret
    not having never said
    a proper farewell to my friend.
    Last edited by Lyriel; 06-30-2007 at 12:16 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member SpudMunky's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
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    Hi there! Those lyrics are really good! Also your English is also very good, there are just a couple of things that need changing, 'to stand your differentness.' The word that you want at the end is differences, that fits better, also where you have put 'not having never said' I would change it to, not having ever said, it makes a bit more sense There's also one line that I would just add into so that it flows a bit better and that's the line that goes 'in every picture, person, thing' I would change that to in every picture, in every person, in every thing! But otherwise I really like those lyrics and as I said before your English is very good! Very well done!
    Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?

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