Suicidal Hate (First Song)

Hey I'm new here just signed up. Been trying my hand at lyric writing just lately for an album of songs im working on to release through itunes. Thought it would be a good idea to post my lyrics on forums like this to get some constructive critisism. Gonna start with a song i wrote a few years back. Very morbid as I was in a bad place at the time. This is actually the first song I ever wrote and i was actually quite proud of it at the time. Anyways let me know what you thinkand give me some pointers. Thanks

Suicidal Hate

Born into ****
Rejected At birth
You wanna be my friend?
Well that’s a first

Do yourself a favour
And jus Go back Home
I aint worth your time
Better left alone

[Chorus]
If you really loved me
You know you’d let me go
Don’t ask me for the reason
Cause u don’t wanna know
So don’t try and save me
Cause its way too late
I’m drowning in a sea
of sucidal hate

What can I do?
What’s the point in trying?
I can’t do anything to rid myself
Of these morbid thoughts of dying

Need to find something
to rid me of this pain
Or maybe I should suffer
Cause I’m the one to blame

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge]
Arsenic Would be nice
In a Double whiskey
Hold the Ice
A bullet would do the trick
D’You think I’m Sick?

[Guitar solo]

Let me go!
Let me go!
LET ME GO!!!


Keep Rockin'
Matt

I think this is a very good song. My suggestions;

"Or maybe I should suffer
Cause I’m the one to blame"

change to

"Or maybe I should suffer
Here I go again"

then your guitar solo

Just a wink with lyric before you break into the solo.

I'm primarily a guitar player, and I like that kind of thing.

Really good song!