This one was not so easy. I'm still struggling with a couple of lines. I think there is still some way to improve them. For now I'll post what I've come up with so far, but maybe you or someone else can make other suggestions ...
My suggestions/variants are in blue. I also use red or red asterisks ** to indicate lines or words that I'm still not sure about.
And I put some of my comments/explanations in grey, just trying to soften the visual mess .....
ВЕДЬМА \ WITCH
Original lyrics by V. Papivin
A Cupid’s arrow hit your heart
... A Cupid's arrow pierced your heart
You didn’t feel that aching smart
... You didn't feel the aching start
That knocked forever out of paradise**
... That knocked you forever out of Paradise
... That knocked you down from your Paradise
The Moon came down to bloody mist
... The Moon came down in bloody mist
... Witching Moon poured (a) bloody mist
You couldn’t comprehend the gist
The night air stood all still until sunrise
... The night air ceased to stir 'til sunrise*
... The night imposed its calm until sunrise**
** (seems like there should be a better word for rhyme, but so far I can't think of it ...)
Your destiny leads you ahead
... Your destiny leads you on ahead
... (might seem redundant, but it seems better to me)
You can’t make out*** the good from bad
You can’t see things coz you have lost your eye
... (maybe) You can't perceive, cuz you've lost your eye
That much you loved in that night time
... So much you loved in that dark night
You were a witch, you were a witch
You were a witch, coz you could (you could) fly
... You were a witch, and you could (you could) fly
... (sounds a little better to me, like a natural progression)
Recall this reckless crazy night
... Recall this crazy reckless night
... (slightly more poetic redundancy)
Recall your headlong thoughtless flight
... Recall your thoughtless headlong flight
... (same as above)
Is it indeed you feel no more that free?**
... Indeed you feel not a bit more free?
This dream might come again to you
And take you back to midnight woods
Where dance and howl
... To dance and howl
And fire under the trees
... In flames of burning trees
... Among the burning trees
The fuss and rush, and empty space
... The rush and fuss in empty space
The miracle of that night race
... The miracle of your midnight race
Will not revive your hungering for love
... Will not revive your craving for love... Will not renew your craving for love
That much you loved just that night
... So much you loved just that night
You were a witch, you were a witch
You were a witch, coz you could (you could) fly
... You were a witch, and you could (you could) fly
*** "make out" is good, or at least ok. And "the" is optional, no necessary. But other verb choices are:
...... perceive (the)
...... discern (the)
...... separate
...... distinguish
...... determine
...... fathom
I'm sure this post is too complicated. Give me a little more time, maybe for other suggestions from you or others, and then I'll clean it up