Yes, the Time one was perfectly fine.
As for the second one,
I might say (this is just me) "I would like my roots to be moved widely out" Thats just me. But for what Jandros said, is a good one.
I have to agree with my good friend Jandros on this one, the other 2 things the suggested sounds good.
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Cool, I’ll do all changes. “Finish” in Russian is more about sport, and “Final” – about life. Here, we mean life, of course. That’s why I used “final” – that’s why I need native proofreading. These are considerable changes and I would like to put your, guys, both full names on the English version, that I’m gonna mail to the author. Could you send it to my private, how you want to be listed? Sure, they will appear at least on the official site of the author together with the texts.
What do you think of these two songs? For the first one I couldn’t find an English equivalent for the Russian expression that sounds like “to look for troubles on one’s ***”. So I changed it, but I am not sure that it sounds OK. Is it clear, that “gem” is about his lady, which he’s gonna love till there’s something in his pants? Or the whole verse has to be changed?
Бережкарики
Ах, как приятно протянуть свои конечности,
Свои конечности, свои конечности.
И пораздумывать часок-другой о вечности,
Часок о вечности, другой о вечности.
Припев:
Мигая мне фонариком
Плывет баржа,
А следом три пескарика
И два моржа.
А в двадцати пяти шагах водица плещется,
Водица плещется, водица плещется.
И в темноте не то зовут, не то мерещится,
Не то мерещится, не то мерещится.
(Припев)
Комар летит на костерок полузатушенный,
Полузатушенный, полузатушенный.
А я лежу во все места уже укушенный,
И в глаз укушенный, и в нос укушенный.
(Припев)
И потихонечку глаза мои слипаются,
То разлипаются, то вновь слипаются.
А в это время с неба звезды осыпаются,
Все осыпаются и осыпаются.
(Припев)
Давным-давно прошла баржа вдоль бережка реки,
Вдоль бережка реки, вдоль бережка реки,
И в теплом иле закемарили пескарики,
Мои пескарики, мои пескарики.
Пустую суету мою
Уносит ввысь,
А я лежу и думаю
Простую мысль:
Покуда ноги есть - дорога не кончается,
Все не кончается, и не кончается,
Покуда попа есть - с ней что-то приключается.
(Припев)
THREE DUDGEONS
It’s nice to make a fire on an empty river bank
A sandy riverbank
A lonely riverbank
No matter that the others see me as a funny crank
A strolling type of crank
Kind of eccentric crank
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
In forty yards I hear laughter and a water splash
Seductive water splash
Attractive water splash
Somebody calls me or it just has been a river dash
A quiet river dash
Sporadic water dash
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
Got used to feed mosquitoes on an evening river beach
Sun flies on river beach
Gadflies on river beach
I feel that my poor cheeks and nose are starting badly itch
My eyebrows start to itch
All body starts to itch
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
My sleepy eyes could hardly see the falling shooting stars
Abundant shooting stars
Bright-shining shooting stars
The rising Venus looks to me exactly like the Mars
The Sirius like Mars
The Jupiter like Mars
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
A long ago went away the rusty drifting barge
The rusty drifting barge
The empty river barge
My dudgeons dug themselves into the warmish river sludge
To rest in river sludge
To have a nap in sludge
My rush did go away up to the Milky Way
The meaning of my life I started seeing today
Till I have feet I’m going at all times to walk on them
I’m gonna stroll on them
I’m gonna roam on them
Till have a ... I’m gonna love my only precious gem
My only darling gem
My ever waiting gem (And later all of them)
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
A barge is going by the river in the dark
Three dudgeons follow it and a big great white shark
Когда-нибудь…
Когда-нибудь исчезнет слякоть,
И прекратит скрипеть кровать,
И будут утки меньше крякать,
А больше петь и танцевать.
Когда-нибудь починят краны,
И из воды исчезнет муть,
Добрее станут хулиганы
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь.
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь,
Хотя б одним глазком взглянуть
На этот мир когда-нибудь.
Солдат отпустят командиры
Смотреть хорошее кино,
А во дворах пройдут турниры
По городкам и домино.
И просветлеют наши взгляды
Утихнут склоки в пять минут.
А если кто-то будет гадом -
Его простят, но не поймут.
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь
Нас приведет нелегкий путь
Куда-нибудь, когда-нибудь.
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь
Удастся все перевернуть
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь.
Когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь, когда-нибудь
Хотя б одним глазком взглянуть
На этот мир когда-нибудь.
КОГДА НИБУДЬ \ SOMETIME, SOMEDAY
Someday we’ll fix all leaking pipings
The running water won’t have dregs
And we’ll enjoy the ducks’ fine dancing
Instead of hearing their boring quacks
Someday the mud will disappear
The mattresses will stop to creak
All hooligans will grow kinder
All Russian folk will cease to sneak
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
I wish I saw it for a day
That perfect world
Sometime, someday
The kind commanders will be letting
Their soldiers watch new classy films
The angry workers won’t be swearing
At their tools, machines, and kilns
My neighbor’ll call me to play skittles,
All quarrels will be stopped for good
And any skunk will be forgiven
Forgiven, but not understood
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
We’ll finish this not easy way
Somewhere sometime, somewhere someday
To curse the Kremlin won’t be trendy
In fact we might ignore all trends
All Russian land will get awaken
All folk will hold each other’s hands
The people’s eyes will grow lighter
I’m sure, finally they’ll be
The smiles of girls will get much brighter
Towards the guys like you and me
Will get all locks unlocked, doors - opened
Bribe money we won’t have to pay
A spring will change this rainy autumn
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
We’ll do all things another way
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
I wish I saw it for a day
That perfect world
Sometime, someday -
1. No matter what the others see me as a funny crank
Originally Posted by Alexei
2. I feel that my poor cheeks and nose are starting to badly itch
3. Long ago went away the rusty drifitng barge
**Take out "a" in " a long..."
Those are the only ones that I could find in both. (They are all from the first one)
I am having trouble with #3... Its a bit. confusing for me. It does make sense, but the word order is confusing me. -
1. I'm getting a different reading on that one. I think it's supposed to mean "It doesn't matter that the others see me as a funny crank"
3. Long ago, the rusty drifting barge went away.Last edited by pthalo; 01-08-2009 at 01:29 PM.
I'm stronger than the tricks played on your heart. We look at them together then we take 'em apart. Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two. -
Propel buddy, I have to agree with pthalo. Maybe it's a bit hard to see, and what/that can be a little tricky. But I think Alexei's original is correct. Good catch on the others, I missed one in my first look
Alexei, Propel also mentioned a little difficulty. Is a verse missing from the Russian of Когда-нибудь?
Also in the first song "Бережкарики", title and everything, I think you mean Gudgeons, a fish? Dudgeon is like a bad mood, or the hilt (handle) of a knife.
I think I also have 1 or 2 other suggestions, but I need a little more time to compose a reply
Having problems with vertigo for 2-3 days ... it's temporary, a mild case and it will pass, but for now I can't stay on the computer as much as normal :-/ ... -
for native speakers of English who know at least one slavic language (even if it's not Russian), it might be easier to proofread if it was translated line by line or stanza by stanza. if i pay very, very close attention, i can sometimes understand some russian when I read it, based on similar words with other languages.
I'm stronger than the tricks played on your heart. We look at them together then we take 'em apart. Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two. -
Pthalo, I understand what you mean. It's better for a lot of people, as you suggest. But for me, I don't want to get too involved in translation, because I might make a mistake
And also it appears that Alexei has translated very freely, liberally. So I just go with the English, and it's ok for me.
Alexei, in my bold entries below, I also include Propel's suggestions:
Originally Posted by Alexei
...
In forty yards I hear laughter and a water splash
Seductive water splash
Attractive water splash
Somebody calls me or it just has been a river dash ...
Somebody calls me or it was just a river dash
...
Got used to feed mosquitoes on an evening river beach
Sun flies on river beach
Gadflies on river beach
I feel that my poor cheeks and nose are starting to badly itch
My eyebrows start to itch
All my body starts to itch
You can also write line 4 similar to line 1, like so:
Feel my poor cheeks and nose starting to badly itch
...
My sleepy eyes could hardly see the falling shooting stars
Abundant shooting stars
Bright-shining shooting stars
The rising Venus looks to me exactly like the* Mars ...
*Delete "the"
...
Long ago went away the rusty drifting barge ...
This is a bit awkward, but it's hard to get this right, with drifting barge at the end. But I'm sure that's what you want. If you change 1 word, Long since went away the rusty drifting barge, it will sound better. It's kind of archaic, old, so its a bit more poetic.
...
Till have a ... I’m gonna love my only precious gem
Do you have a question at the ...? I can't match this line with the Russian lyrics.
My only darling gem
My ever waiting gem (And later all of them)
I think "gem" is good. It works for me
...
________________
КОГДА НИБУДЬ \ SOMETIME, SOMEDAY
Someday we’ll fix all leaking pipes
The running water won’t have dregs
And we’ll enjoy the ducks’ fine dancing (maybe just dance, depends on what you want)
Instead of hearing their boring quacks
Someday the mud will disappear
The mattresses will cease to creak ('stop' is awkward here)
All hooligans will grow kinder
All Russian folk will cease to sneak
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
I wish I saw it for a day
That perfect world
Sometime, someday
The kind commanders will be letting
Their soldiers watch new classy films
The angry workers won’t be swearing
At their tools, machines, and kilns
My neighbor’ll call me to play skittles,
All quarrels will be stopped for good
And any skunk will be forgiven
Forgiven, but not understood
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
We’ll finish this but not the easy way
Somewhere sometime, somewhere someday
To curse the Kremlin won’t be trendy
In fact we might ignore all trends
All Russian land will get awakened
All folk will hold each other’s hands
The people’s eyes will grow lighter
I’m sure, finally they’ll be
The smiles of girls will get much brighter
Towards the guys like you and me
We'll get all locks unlocked, doors - opened
Bribe money we won’t have to pay
A spring will change this rainy autumn
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
We’ll do all things another way
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday, sometime, someday
Sometime, someday
I wish I saw it for a day
That perfect world
Sometime, someday
I really like these lyrics, the theme, the whole thing.Having problems with vertigo for 2-3 days ... it's temporary, a mild case and it will pass, but for now I can't stay on the computer as much as normal :-/ ... -
Thank you, guys. I have to work a little on all you wrote, to fit the changes phythmically. As to small letters on the title, I might do an extra line, called "Native proofreading (or editing) by..." The letters will be just the same. Whatever you like.
Anyway when I specify working togeher with native speakers, it will put the credits for the translations up.
If you want, I can supply it with a crib, cos my translation sometimes differs a little.
Also I might post you m3 song translated, sure they might help you for your studies. The authors I translate are graduated from Moscow University and their Russian is really good.
By the way, does the guy on the riverbank sounds as a sort of maniac? In fact he shouln'd, cos the song is about a vagabond, a rolling stone why just loves his girlfriend (and maybe some other girls on his uneasy way).
Would you please have a look at the following song of Ivashchenko.
Hope you'll get a couple of french words inbuilt into it.
Натуральный кислород
Натуральный кислород - это просто объеденье,
С ним так хочется любить, им так хочется дышать.
Можно тратить кислород и дарить на День Рожденье,
И в бутылочке хранить, если грамотно сжижать.
Натуральный кислород он вкусней всего на свете,
Он полезней, чем кефир и полезнее конфет,
Натуральный кислород нужен всем, кто на диете,
В нем полстолечко жиров, а калорий вовсе нет.
OxygEne de naturel
A delicious yummy product
When you have it you feel high, you feel love, you wanna dance*
You can spend it if you want, you can use as birthday presents
You can keep it in a bottle, if you manage to condense
OxygEne de naturel
There is no another diet, that is healthy, tasty, free of cholesterol and fat
If you try it you’ll forget all your slimming stuff and yogurts
There’s no calories at all. You will love this drug I bet.
Припев: Приэльбрустские высоты, вологодские луга,
Новгородские болота и сибирская тайга,
В тех местах и в многих прочих каждый день и круглый год
Выдается всем, кто хочет первоклассный кислород.
The Caucasian alpine meadows, marshy swamps of VologdA
European Northern tundra and Siberian taiga
All those places sell no ointments, no capsules, pills and gels
Just for free, with no prescriptions
OxygEne de naturel
2. Натуральный кислород нам не зря дала природа,
Это фирменный продукт, а не грубый суррогат,
Натуральный кислород состоит из кислорода,
Кто не верит, тем Минздрав выдает сертификат.
Выдает сертификат, что они больны душевно
И рассматривают жизнь как-то задом на перед,
Что в таком вот как у них состоянии плачевном,
Нужен свежий кислород, ну почти как кислород.
Oxygen d’naturel
It’s a gift of Mother Nature
It’s a natural trade mark, not a fake, not duplicAte
Has been made of pure O2, should you choose not to believe it
The Heath Ministry can give out a certificAte
This certificate is for those mentally unhealthy
For the folk who have their lives, being upside down installed
For the sick folk who has been in a desperate condition
For O2 de naturel they need better than all gold.
Himalayan snow highlands, lonely woods of Ussuri
Amazonian blue delta, and the Sussex oak trees
All those places sell no ointments, no capsules, pills and gels
Just for free, with no prescriptions
OxygEne de naturel
Привет: Гималайские высоты, уссурийская тайга,
Амазонские болота и альпийские луга.
В тех местах и в многих прочих каждый день и круглый год
Выдается всем, кто хочет первоклассный кислород.
3. Покупайте кислород и не думайте превратно,
Этот бизнес никому не приносит барышей.
Покупайте кислород совершенно за бесплатно,
За красивые глаза и улыбку до ушей.
Покупайте кислород совершенно за бесплатно,
За красивые глаза и улыбку до ушей,
Хоть завязочки пришей.
Have this oxygen for free, this is not a whiling-dealing
Don’t ask us “What’s the catch?” There is no such catch at all
Take this medical gas free, you will see how it is healing
Make your pay with your nice smile, which to see is our goal
Sky-blue peaks and wild rain forests, trendy beaches of LA
Aussy bush, Aotearoa, all lands down The Milky Way
With your nose and with you mouth,
Do inhale it, you, ma belle
Free of charge and free of duties
OxygEn de naturel
Привет: Поднебесные высоты, непролазная тайга,
Крокодильские болота, васильковые луга,
В тех местах и в многих прочих через нос и через рот
Подается всем, кто хочет первоклассный кислород.
Once again thank you, working with you is really great! -
No no, the guy doesn't sound like a maniac at all. It just seems to be a theme of contemplation, while he also notices material things that are in front of him. And those things mingle with his deeper thoughts. It sounds very normal for his situation. Originally Posted by Alexei
I'll work on the other song, and try to post again in 1 or 2 hours
Having problems with vertigo for 2-3 days ... it's temporary, a mild case and it will pass, but for now I can't stay on the computer as much as normal :-/ ... -
Goody.
Here is one more by Ivashchenko. I supplied it with a crib. Hope it will make things easier, and you are welcome to threat the original text liberally. As to me, I just try to preserve the main idea. And the rhytm of course.
ЛИЧНАЯ ЖИЗНЬ ЭЛЕКТРИКА ПЕТРОВА
PRIVATE LIFE OF ELECTRICIAN PETROV
Ax, она его за руки полюбила
Ah, she fell in love with him for his hands
Ну а он её за ноги и глаза
He fell in love with her because of her legs and eyes
Она всё говорила: Ну что молчишь ты, милый?
She was saying: Why are you silent, darling?
Ну а он не знал, чего бы ей сказать
But he didn’t know what to say her
She fell in love with
His skillful clever fingers
He loved her for her nice legs and pretty eyes
She was whisperin’ him: “Why have you been so silent?”
He was thinking tensely how to look nice
Не дай Бог её обидеть грубым словом
God forbid to hurt her with any rude word
Не дай Бог сказать какую глупость вдруг
God forbid to say any stupid thing suddenly
Ведь невеста у электрика Петрова
After all, the bride of electrician Petrov
Аспирантка в Академии Наук
Is a post graduate student at the Academy of Science.
Lord forbid to say her any stupid nonsense!
Lord forbid to blurt a rude word suddenly!
After all the bride of an average electrician
Almost holds a doctorate degree.
Он водил её на ёлки и концерты
He was taking her to Children’ X-mas parties
Вместе с ней Дюму и Кафку обожал
He, together with her, adored Duma (a French novelist of 19c)
and Kafka (a German novelist-utopist)
Он по вечерам соседям жёг проводку
In evenings he was burning (shortcutting) the electric wires of his neighbors
Чтоб ей телевизор думать не мешал
To let her think, not being disturbed by their TV
He was tryin’ to be a well-read nerdish fellow
He was tryin’ to think of Kafka, Kant, and Joyce
Often he cut (looped) cables of his next-door neighbors
Just to shut TV announcers’ loud voice
«Не могу сказать о ней ничего плохого»
«There is nothing wrong I can tell ‘bout her»
Говорил ему за пивом как-то друг
Once his friend was telling hum after beer
«Ну зачем, скажи, жене электрика Петрова
«But tell me, why the wife of electrician Petrov
Кандидатом быть каких- то там наук?»
Has to be a PhD at some there science?»
After beers his friend tried to remind him clear
Of his pure proletarian pedigree
“Why on Earth an average Russian electrician
Needs a wife which is some there PhD?”
He was taking her to Children’ Christmas parties
He has tighten up himself this Gordian knot
After he was forced to like the chamber music
His transformer burnt, his contacts got white-hot
Говорят, что он украл с работы провод
They say he stole at work a wire
И заделал в стену прочный крюк
And hammered in a solid hook
Говорят, вдова электрика Петрова
They say, the widow of the electrician Petrov
Защитила степень доктора наук
Has defended her doctorate degree
They say that he stole an isolated wire
Then he hammered in a solid iron hook
They say that the widow of Petrov the electrician
Published recently a new scientific book -
Originally Posted by Alexei
*********These dont make that much sense to me... Maybe it's just me...
Those are suggestions/changes that I think make it better.
-
I just re-read it, closely, and I agree with you and pthalo. It does make sense. Originally Posted by jandros
Propel buddy, I have to agree with pthalo. Maybe it's a bit hard to see, and what/that can be a little tricky. But I think Alexei's original is correct. Good catch on the others, I missed one in my first look
I was just reading it too fast.
-
Here is another one. Any volunteers? Propel, thank you for the lyrics you worked on. I really want your name on it, with jandros, of course. Good teamwork. Would you post it to me, how you want to be listed. It's fair.
BOOMERANG \ УМА ПАЛАТА
Ivashchenko\Vasiliev
Куда его не зашвырни –
Wherever you throw it
А бумеранг летит по кругу,
A boomerang flies around and back
И порознь прожитые дни
The days we spent apart
Лишь возвращают нас друг другу
Just push us to get together again
Wherever goes a boomerang
It’s getting back being thrown round
The days that have been spent apart
Make me return to my old ground
Зачем я здесь, на берегу,
Why am I here, on the shore
Навек покинутом когда-то?
That I left long ago for good?
Ума палата, ума палата
A lot of brain, a lot of brain
А разобраться не могу
But I can’t comprehend it
Why am I here at your place?
From where I fled a long ago
I wanna know
I wanna know
My mind is boggling on and on
Зачем я вновь сюда стремлюсь
Why do I struggle to get here again?
Как дикий зверь в пчелиный улей?
As a wild beast tries to get to the beehive
Зачем я ядами травлюсь
Why am I poisoned by the poisons?
И в лоб себе пускаю пули?
And shoot the bullets to my forehead?
Why am I getting back again?
Like a wild beast strives after honey
Why do I try to stand in vain
Attacks at me that ain’t funny?
Как будто через решето
As if my brain (common sense)
Мой здравый смысл ушёл куда-то.
Went away trough a sieve somewhere
Ума палата, ума палата –
(I have) a lot of wit, lot of wit
А вытворяю черте-что
But I am up to things, the only devil knows
As if my former common sense
Away from my poor head did go
I wanna know
I wanna know
My mind is boggling on and on
I wanna know
I wanna know
My mind is boggling on and on
Мерцают угольки в золе,
The coals are glowing in the ash
Давно пора б остепениться
I had to settle down long ago
И не мечтать о журавле,
(I had) to stop dreaming about a crane
Зажав в руке свою синицу
And hold a titmouse with my hand
I know I had to settle down
Being plunged forget about lures
To keep a real bird in hands
They say sometimes this lifestyle cures
А мне б смириться с тем, что есть,
I wish I got humbled with things I have
Да, видно, малость тесноватo
But apparently it’s a little bit cramped
Ума палата, ума палата
A lot of wit… A lot of wit…
Моя палата номер шесть
My ward number six *
Why do I fear lack of space?
Why do avoid a marriage vow?
I wanna know
I wanna know
My mind is boggling on and on
I wanna know
I wanna know
My mind is boggling on and on
Wherever goes a boomerang
It’s getting back being thrown round
The days that have been spent apart
Make me return to my old ground
Why am I here stay with you?
From whom I fled a long ago
I don’t know
I don’t know
Ah dear, I really wish I knew!
I don’t know
I don’t know
Ah dear, I really wish I knew!
• Ума палата – is an old saying, that means “A palace full of wit”, can be said about somebody why is really smart or clever. Палата – is also a ward in the hospital, “Ward number six” is a famous Chekhov’s story about a ward where mentally sick people were kept. (A sort of “сuckoo’s nest” maybe?) So, in modern Russian you may say
ПалАта нОмер шЕсть, meaning a mental hospital, madhouse. Can be used mainly figuratively. The song is about a guy, why is clever, wit, understands that his bond with his girlfriend or civil partner brings him a number of headaches, but nothing he can do about it. Gets back again and again after being apart a while. -
How's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his skillful clever fingers
He loved her for her nice legs and pretty eyes
She was whisperin’ to him: “Why are you so silent?”
He was thinking tensely on how to look nice
Lord forbid to tell her any stupid nonsense!
Lord forbid to blurt a rude word suddenly!
After all the bride of an average electrician
Almost holds a doctorate degree
He was tryin’ to be a well-read nerdish fellow
He was tryin’ to think of Kafka, Kant, and Joyce
Often he cut cables of his next-door neighbors
Just to shut TV announcers’ loud voice
In the pub his drinking buddies made it clear
Meaning his pure proletarian pedigree
“Why on Earth, Petrov, the wife of an electrician
Has to be that bloody PhD?”*
He was taking her to philharmonic concerts
Tightening up himself this fatal Gordian knot
After she made him love Shnitke and Prokofiev
His transformer burnt, his contacts got white-hot
They say that he stole a steel forced copper wire
Then he fixed it on a solid iron hook
They say that the widow of Petrov the electrician
Published recently a new scientific book -
How's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his skillful clever fingers
He loved her for her nice legs and pretty eyes
She was whisperin’ to him: “Why are you so silent?”
He was thinking tensely on how to look nice
Lord forbid to tell her any stupid nonsense!
Lord forbid to blurt a rude word suddenly!
After all the bride of an average electrician
Almost holds a doctorate degree
He was tryin’ to be a well-read nerdish fellow
He was tryin’ to think of Kafka, Kant, and Joyce
Often he cut cables of his next-door neighbors
Just to shut TV announcers’ loud voice
In the pub his drinking buddies made it clear
Meaning his pure proletarian pedigree
“Why on Earth, Petrov, the wife of an electrician
Has to be that bloody PhD?”*
He was taking her to philharmonic concerts
Tightening up himself this fatal Gordian knot
After she made him love Shnitke and Prokofiev
His transformer burnt, his contacts got white-hot
They say that he stole a steel forced copper wire
Then he fixed it on a solid iron hook
They say that the widow of Petrov the electrician
Published recently a new scientific book -
how's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his skillful clever fingers
He loved her for her nice legs and pretty eyes
She was whisperin’ to him: “Why are you so silent?”
He was thinking tensely on how to look nice
Lord forbid to tell her any stupid nonsense!
Lord forbid to blurt a rude word suddenly!
After all the bride of an average electrician
Almost holds a doctorate degree
He was tryin’ to be a well-read nerdish fellow
He was tryin’ to think of Kafka, Kant, and Joyce
Often he cut cables of his next-door neighbors
Just to shut TV announcers’ loud voice
In the pub his drinking buddies made it clear
Meaning his pure proletarian pedigree
“Why on Earth, Petrov, the wife of an electrician
Has to be that bloody PhD?”*
He was taking her to philharmonic concerts
Tightening up himself this fatal Gordian knot
After she made him love Shnitke and Prokofiev
His transformer burnt, his contacts got white-hot
They say that he stole a steel forced copper wire
Then he fixed it on a solid iron hook
They say that the widow of Petrov the electrician
Published recently a new scientific book -
There you go! Originally Posted by Alexei
-
It looks good!! Originally Posted by Alexei
But, I think that if you take out All in the ***** Part? (3d paragraph, 3d line)
With ALL in there, it doesnt make sense to me. -
Sorry, I'm very far behind and trying to catch up
...
Of course, and we can assume that there is always a "master at work" Originally Posted by Alexei
I don't want to make it too hard for you, but I have more suggestions for Ivashchenko's Натуральный кислород:
OxygEne de naturel
A delicious yummy product
When you have it you feel high, you feel love, you wanna dance*
You can spend it if you want, you can use it as birthday presents
You can keep it in a bottle, if you manage to condense
...
The Caucasian alpine meadows, marshy swamps of VologdA
European Northern tundra and Siberian taiga
All those places sell no ointments, no capsules, pills or* gels
Just for free, with no prescriptions
OxygEne de naturel
* (in cases like this, no/negative, "or" is more common than "and".)
It’s a gift of Mother Nature
It’s a natural trade mark, not a fake, no* duplicAte
Has been made of pure O2, should you choose not to believe it
The Heath Ministry can give out a certificAte
* (Assuming the noun form (to match "a fake), just "no" is appropriate. Also the play on the letter "A" will match "certificAte", so I think it'll make good lyrical sense.)
...
Himalayan snow highlands, lonely woods of Ussuri
Amazonian blue delta, and the Sussex oak trees
All those places sell no ointments, no capsules, pills or* gels
Just for free, with no prescriptions
OxygEne de naturel
* (same as above, again just for convenience.)
...
Have this oxygen for free, this is not a wheeling-dealing*
Don’t ask us “What’s the catch?” There is no *such* catch at all
Take this medical gas free, you will see how it is healing
Make your pay with your nice smile, which to see is our goal
* Wheel-and-deal is the correct euphemism for a "slick horse-trader".
* Delete "such" ... it's not necessary at all in this case.
_____
The French terms are great. I also noticed a Greek word (zeit) in an earlier song. It's great, always a nice extra touch.Having problems with vertigo for 2-3 days ... it's temporary, a mild case and it will pass, but for now I can't stay on the computer as much as normal :-/ ... -
PRIVATE LIFE OF ELECTRICIAN PETROV, post #38: Looks perfect.
Propel, "all" is fine in that phrase. Maybe a comma will help:
After all, the bride of an electrician almost holds a doctorate degree.
Понимаешь?
Having problems with vertigo for 2-3 days ... it's temporary, a mild case and it will pass, but for now I can't stay on the computer as much as normal :-/ ...
