this isnt supposed to have any real rythym, its just kinda freestyle

i can make it sound ok without a beat added to it, but i dont plan on recording it anyways haha



seeing you there with another, giving your heart to another guy
combined with my shyness and tongue-tiedness extracting and destroying my very vibe
makes me wanna sigh, makes me wanna cry, makes me wanna die and re-arrive six months back in time
interactions stump me, somethings stopping me, though i try
am i incapable? or is this simply a product of the mind
no papers were signed but i had you, you were forever mine
and then i lost you, and there were no more options left in line
i want to live life like i could die any second in the fire
that is burning in my chest and bringing uncurable desire
you see, the sitch ain't dire, i just dont know what to do
if i made a move would anyone approve? i would probably lose
and i can trace every problem back to you, the man you've sculpted with your good intentions
is reaching new dimensions of unbearable tensions
i doubt every move, every word i utter
i get so goddam nervous that its more like i stutter and mutter
maybe i should get drunk, just to get a little bolder
maybe i should get high, just to look a little older
maybe i should do neither, listen to that angel on my shoulder
but she wont tell me what you wanna see, or how i could mold her
just right, so things are tight and this heart is light and not full of fright
and not losing sight of its full-fledged might, of its capacity for love and its capacity for life
but thats life, you lose, you fall, even if i crawl at least im moving at all
meanwhile your sprinting through life at olympic speeds
and never once do you heed my needs, i bleed for people like you to feed my dreams
of a connection of two souls, a link of love, a flight of the dove, a push or a shove
because im frozen in place, i dont know what to do, and it all goes back to what you changed me into
the man you changed me into, i want to break his face
i want the old austin to come back and take his place
i want my heart to stop pounding a million miles per hour
i dont want to cower, i want to blossom a flower
and send it to someone who can cure this sour
and make this bitter into sweet, someone sweet who can look past the trembling lips and the shuffling feet
if you have a whole lot of nothing to say, then talk away
and i will listen to you forever just to make you stay
because i dont know what to say
my good intentions decay and stray away from their purpose to get me through the day
and the day, heres how it goes: wake up, shower, think for the next hour how i will cure this sour
get to school, heart starts bumpin, see her, think of somethin,
open my mouth to say it, theres a whole lot of nothin
chance number one, annihilated and done
i dont mean to shun, the knot in my tongue just won
i fight shyness a ton, but shyness has a gun
that shoots the sun and makes me run from what im trying to chase,
something to replace the empty space formerly filled by your angel face
here it is, chance number two, i can see her eyes
but theres the butterflies, my intentions are internally criticized
and now shes walking by, i cant even say hi
its enough to make a mute man sigh, and a dry man cry
let me perform a test, i will direct these tears into an empty bottle
drink them, taste the sour, think about my life for an hour
cry again, drink again,
until the sour overpowers my desire for a flower to be blossomed for me,
yours truly, Austin Askew, let me ask you if youve ever had the sour distract and attract you
into a lonely state of mind, a state goverened by time and influenced by the grind and unseeable signs
handing out detours showing you where to look to find what you need to find
every day is copied and mimed
i wanna squeeze you till your lemon is limed
i wanna leave the sour behind
i wanna find a glorious life, the satisfiable kind
where mutuality coexists with the raw of you and of i
it seems to me this is all i can do
play with words, put them together, get my message through
i wish i had more eyes than this pair of two
so i could look at this and know what to do
what do i do when i feel like breaking through
but im still unfamiliar to you and your crew
nothing, i freeze, i go nowhere
my body wont let me if i try to go there
its so unfair, the burden that i must bear of knowing you dont care
im pulling out my hair, its so rare that i wear
my heart on my sleeve, but you better believe
that you are able to weave the strings of my mind into knots
kicking shadows in empty parking lots and living life like a robot
day after day, mechanical breakdown, lets get to the shakedown and the core of this matter
each day i get sadder as i watch my dreams shatter and my hopes splatter and my body of stress multiply and get fatter
hopes pass you by, feelings die, brains fry, people sigh, my oh my, why oh why should i even try
heres where heartbreak becomes a cliche phrase, it doesnt describe the way that i spend my days
the feeling stays, but slowly new feelings begin to arise
of anger, frustration and lust for the grand prize: your eyes
slowly the ties that bind us will break, our connection will be fake, for gods sake,
surgically remove my mind to remove the daydreamin
remove my heart to remove the passion so teemin
remove my mouth to remove the hopeless screamin
remove my soul to remove these infected demons
if you are lonely like me, put your hands in the air
and pretend to the world that you dont even care