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Thread: review my song

  1. #1
    banedown
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    Default review my song

    they call it illness

    Losing trust, oh ive been fooled so many times
    Like Morrison said:” i been down so goddamn long that is look so up to me”
    …*****s aren’t *****s if we don’t want them to be
    Pay me enough, i will love, hate or lie
    Power of dreams dreamed in child dream
    Dreamed like just yesterday?…
    … its strange how we find so many tricks to turn things for our good
    Like a twister, like religious fanatic cult, like a walking Siberia across the desert
    it is strong and massive and its rapidly spreading
    till the voices change in echos and the moving become a picture
    than it gonna make sense, i guess...

    It makes sense, now it makes sense
    and its all up to you

    seasons of fools
    human ruins

  2. #2
    Senior Member Afet's Avatar
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    like it
    Cuando mueran los astros y queden sólo restos de polvillo cósmico,
    iremos de paseo por esas soledades para enseñarte miamor, lo que es la eternidad. ♡

  3. #3
    banedown
    Guest

    drag the weight of sinful fathers?
    pray before sleep for strangers luck
    pain inside im pushing away, but for how long?
    never to try to escape yourself from yourself

    …it hunts you

    sky is so strange in my eyes
    i try but cant see the sun (they sun)
    more i try to see less i see
    im going down, deep down (into my hole)

    …it hunts me

    when all gone this way?
    when i began to fool myself?
    whos the man in mirror i see?
    its not me,its not me, no, no

    …it hunted me

    nothing can be something when you reach the end
    when mind accept the truth escaped over years
    so strange feeling becoming everything i feel
    confusion or just a dream/not for me/but its mine

    who to blame?(where to hide)
    no more hate in my eyes
    no more fate in my hearth
    I look beyond the life

    I spit on the wall of shame
    and I smile to the crowd
    that came to kill themselves
    by killing the bastard, by killing me!

  4. #4
    banedown
    Guest

    just little piece
    its enough for this night
    morning brings reality
    war i can survive

    behind me my love ones
    i cant fix that
    every year is harder
    pain consuming me

    living behind,forgoting
    that is something so strange for me
    i never wanted to be lonely
    thats not me,no me

    floods of emotion drowning me
    i fight so hard
    nobody can help me
    that is my own war

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    amazing.. i think you are very very talented... cant seem to find a favorite line :P

    I know it does not matter or anything, but i think you could try and improve your grammar skills
    Last edited by Klukoklai; 05-14-2009 at 04:34 PM. Reason: add
    Look! My mouth is a fountain!

  6. #6
    banedown
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    thanks very much! It is the first time I showed to someone my lyrics.

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