VSY:
of, az ako mojeh izpobshto da sledvam razuma i logikata v tazi situacia
AB:
neznam kk go pravi ama se radva 4 emoje
VSY:
hteshe da e 1000 puti po lesno
AB:
daaa, to vinagi tova e problema
ne samo 4e iska6 da sledva6 sarceto si
ami i *nqkaksi kato 4e li nqma otgovor na vaprosa koe e po-dobre da sledva6 razuma ili sarceto
i men li4no tova o6t pove4e me ubarkva
4e ne sam n 100 % ubedena 4e e po-pravilno da se sledva razuma
a ako bqh, pone tova 6te6e da me kara da se opitvam da go sledvam
VSY:
dobre deeeee, kaji mi,golemiya mi vupros, kum joro imam chuvstva, kum john e razumna obich, s koi e po-goliam shansa da sum neshtastna ako se ojenia za nego
AB:
offf vanini ako znaehhh
kato 4e li jivota pokazva 4e s joro 6te si po-ne6tatsna
ili pone po mnenie na hora spove4e opit e taka
ama az ne sam si izgradila qsno mennie po vaprosa
nqkaksi da se li6a na 23 godini ot strastta i burnite emcoii mi se struva da si osakatq mladite godini ot jivota
oba4e qvno se okazva 4e kato se stigne do svatbi i tn epo-dobre da se misli razumno
ama az o6te ne mislq za svatba
VSY:
offffffff, i az ne iskam oshte da mislia
i daje me plashi misulta che john shte mi predloji i az shte triabva da kaja da za da ne go zagubia
azniama da sum si izjiviala neshto
deto mi lipsva
AB:
tova e gadno da
smisal znam 4e ot edna strana za nego e ujasno da ne kaje6 da
ama ot druga ne moje6 da kaje6 da po zadaljenie
i za da ne zagubi6 nqkoi
ako toi ne moje da razbere 4e ti ne si gootva zna4i ne e tova 4oveka
ina4e da i az sam si mislila kakvo 6te kaje6 ako john ti predloji
VSY:
taka e
AB:
za6toto toa mi se struva napalno realno
i si mislq 4e bi kazal da
VSY:
az vuv vseki udoben moment mu namekvam che mi e rano
AB:
e toi razira ot nameci taka 4e predpolagam 4e nqma da go napravi togava
VSY:
ami da, toi mn iska, az dam li mu znak oshteutre shte mi predloji
AB:
i az taka si mislq, 4e toi samo tova 4aka
VSY:
aham 100 %
AB:
a ti ne bi kazala da sas 100 % ubedenost taka li
VSY:
ami adi kogato sum tam i sum okolo nego si mislia che sum 100% ubedena
kato ne sum pokrai nego ei taka
i zapochvam da se sumniavam
AB:
e da de ama vse pak braka pedpolaga da se misli kak se 4uvstva6 S tozi 4ovek
a ne kak se 4uvstva6 kogato ne si do nego
VSY:
da, prava si
v mnogo momenti kato sum s nego me kara da se chuvstvam tolkova unikalno che mi e eidelo da mu kaja aide da se jenim
ot druga strana kato si doida v bg poniakoga izobshto ne mi lipsva, chak plasheshto
chuvstvam se siakash utre da se razdeim az moga suvsem spokoinoda produlja da jiveya bez nego
dokato pri joro beshe tochno obratnotot, strahuvah se ot misulta che niama da moga bez nego
dokato na joro ne smeeh nishto da mu kaja che da ne se skarame i razdelim, s john neshto kato ne mi iznasia vednaga si kazvam i izobshto ne se pritesniavam che moje dase skarame, kato me iznervi suvsem spokoino moga da mu kaja da si gleda rabotata
AB:
emi tova e hubavo
smisal ne e hubavo izob6to da ne te e strah da zagubi6 tozi 4ovek
ama ot druga strana neprestanniq strah i tova da prenebregva6 tova,koeto 4uvstva6 e po-zle
ne 4e se opitvam da te ubedq da se ojeni6 za john
AB:
ama si razsajdavam
VSY:
ama ti hubao si razsujdavash
adi spored teb da otida li napsiholog
AB:
ami da moje
az sam za
kakuvto i da e rezultata, ne mislq 4e tova moje da ti navredi po nqkakuv na4in
VSY:
Pff, i if i only could follow common sense and logic in this situation
AB:
I dont know how he/she does it, but im glad he/ she can do it
VSY:
It would be 1000 times easier
AB:
yeeeees, thats the problem all the time
Not only that u wanna follow ur heart
but its like theres no answer to the question if it's better to follow your heart or your mind
and as regarding me, it makes me even more confused
that im not 100% sure that its right to follow ur mind
and if i was sure, it would be at least easier for me to try to follow it
VSY:
Okaaaaaaaay, tell me, my big question, i have feelings for Joro, my love for John is reasonable (i.e. comes from my mind,is right). Whit which of them the chance that ill be miserable after the wedding is bigger
AB:
oh, vani, only if i knew
i guess life shows that ull be more miserable with Joro
or t least more experienced ppl say so
but personally me, i dont have a clear oppinion on this matter
it seems to me that to deprive myself from passion and loud emotions at the age of 23 is like killing my youth
though, it seems like it turns out that when it comes to weddings, its better to follow ur mind
but i dont want to get married just yet
VSY:
offffffff,i dont wanna think about weddings yet as well
and im so scared of the thought that john will propose to me and ill have to say yes not to lose him
and i wont have lived everything, ill be missing something
AB:
yes, it sucks
i mean, on the one hand for him it would be awful if you dont say yes
but on the other hand you cant say yes out of responsibility/duty
and not to lose somebody
if he cant understand that u r not ready yet, then it means hes not the one
and yeah, ive been wondering what u would say if he proposes u
VSY:
yes, u r right
AB:
because it seems absolutely real to me
and i have the feeling that u'd say yes
VSY:
i use every chance i get to give him a hint that its too early for me
AB:
Well he is good at understanding hints, so i guess he wont do it then
VSY:
well yes, but he really wants to, if i just give him the sign, he'll propose me the next second
AB:
well, i also think that he's just waiting for ur sign
VSY:
yup 100 %
AB:
and you wouldnt 100% say yes ?
VSY:
well adi when im there with him, around him, i think that im 100% sure
and when im not around him i start to doubt
AB:
well yes, but marriage presupposes how u will feel WITH the person, not without him
VSY:
yes, u r right
so many times, when ive been with him, he was making me feel in such a unique way that i have been at the point of tellin him "ok lets get married right now"
on the other hand, when i come back to BG sometimes i dont even miss him, it even scares me
i feel like even if we break up ill be fine, ill continue living without him
while with Joro it was exactly the opposite, i was scared of the thought that i wont survive without him
while i didnt dare tell joro anyhing bad just not to get into a fight with him and split, when im with john, whenever i dont like something, i tell him right away and im not even scared that we might quarrel, when he starts gettin on my nerves, i can tell him to mind his own business
AB:
well thats god
i mean, its not good at all that u r not scared that you can lose this person
but on the other hand the constant fear and suppressing what u feel is worse
its not that im trying to convince u to marry john
AB:
Im just thinking aloud
VSY:
its good that u r thinkin aloud
adi, what do u think, should i see a psychologist?
AB:
well yes, why not
i say yes
whatever the result is, i dont think that it will hurt