Hi,i have been working on this song for a long time now and i finally have decided to publish it.Please Comment!!!!!!!
[VERSE 1]
You said you were out with your friends last night
I listened bacause i didn't want to have a fight
I thought to myself everything would be alright
I emagined myself holding you tight
We would soon walk off into the sunlight
But that all changed when you didn't come home
I called you 8 times but you didn't answer the phone
All i could do was sigh
Because it's the same thing every time
I don't want to hear no more lies
And don't even try
To apologize
[CHORUS]
Cause you had your chance but you blew it
You would be here right now but were through it
If you held my hand
And let me understand
We just might had been together again
I thought you were the lucky one like a four leaf clover
But i guess that it's over
[VERSE 2]
I seen you walking down the street with "her"
You looked straight at me,then turned
It was as if my heart had burned
But then i thought lesson learned
[hook]
Never choose someone that's gonna put you down
You'll find someone better the next time around
No need to cry because he didn't tell the truth
I am gonna find someone way better than you...........than you
[repeat chorus]
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Its Over
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It's Over
Hi Genisha
Just been reading your song (ITS OVER) you have labeled your hook at the end BUT the song title is nearly always the HOOK and you repeat it quite often because that’s the memorable part of the song the bit you want everyone to remember and sing to themselves as they walk down the street, but you haven’t given them that, your song structure is not quite right, I’ll try and give you an idea of what I mean
It’s also a bit wordy so try and reduce the dialog a bit, trim it something like I’ve shown you’ll find it easier to orate and make it easier to sing
V1
You went out with friends last night
But you never told me where
I still believed that you were true
But you never want me there
V2
I kept calling on your phone
But I never had reply
Then you text me your alone
But that’s just another lie
chorus
Because you always put me down
When you’re with another
I can’t take this anymore
Because for me and you it’s over
It’s over,over over over, baby now it’s over
V3
bla, bla, bla, bla and so on
V4
bla, bla, bla, bla and so on
chorus
Because you always put me down
When you’re with another
I can’t take this anymore
Because for me and you it’s over
It’s over,over over over, baby now it’s over
(Bridge) the climax to your song (the end of your story)
followed by another chorus, then repeat the hook as many times as you think necessary
have fun, use anything that’s of use.
Jony bek -
Are you a boy?I was just wondering because you are really good at writing girl songs.No offense........Thinks for the advice,i didn't even know it was a bad song.I actually didn't know what hook was,i just saw it on another song and decided to use it.What should i put where you wrote "blahblah and so on" You are a very good song writer.I'll be sure to look over my mistakes?
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Hi again
Originally Posted by genisha
just read your mail genisha, yes I'm a boy and I write for female artists as well as male.
the bla bla bla, bit is where you must carry on the song yourself in the same way I've shown you verse 3 and verse 4 or change it slightly if you want, then add the bridge to finalize the song. followed lastly by the chorus.
if your not aquainted with this style of writing and you would like to know how its done you must visit your local library and take out a book on "how to be a songwriter" or something along those lines and research the thing you are trying to do i.e. write songs, its just part of the learning process I'm afraid, we all have to do it to improve our craft!
by the way the hook in your song is the title "its over"
good luck jony bek -
Thankyou very much
