Meaning: It's about drug addiction and the effects it has on this person.
Genre: Progressive metal.
Sounds like: The Package by A Perfect Circle.
Please tell me what you think.
All feedback, negative and positive, is very valuable to me.
Trickling down the needle
Desire overwhelms my mind
Pretending to hold my sanity
I can’t begin to comprehend
The silence that I needed
The comfort that broke me in
Grounded in my whole self
No such thing as struggling.
Push me through the threshold
Bow down to holes in my skin
Smile, take the picture
I won’t come this way again
Got to feed my demons
That strike me from within
Tied down to the air
Misguided I can’t help but stare
Take me to the freak show
It’s where I have my only friend
The silence that I needed
The comfort that broke me in
Grounded in my whole self
No such thing as struggling.
Push me through the threshold
Bow down to holes in my skin
My thoughts sit divided
But I still find my way back home
Take me to a new place
Somewhere that I’ve never been
Where there’s silence that I need
Comfort that breaks me in
I’ll stay grounded in my whole self
I’ll keep struggling.
Step back from the threshold
Bow down to holes in my skin
-
Holes in my skin. [PLEASE COMMENT!]
-
33 views and nothing? -
Stop counting
... one of mine has lots more views and no comments ... just 1 pm that offered me some very helpful insights.
I think this has some promise; it almost makes me understand something that I've never experienced. But it's still a little rough. And the phrase "grounded in my whole self" I think takes away from the reality, or the unreality that is drug addiction right? But the line right after that, no such thing as struggling, that sounds just right. -
Yeah, I just thought the purpose of this forum was so people could receive feedback :|
Originally Posted by MoonRide42
Stop counting ... one of mine has lots more views and no comments ... just 1 pm that offered me some very helpful insights.
I think this has some promise; it almost makes me understand something that I've never experienced. But it's still a little rough. And the phrase "grounded in my whole self" I think takes away from the reality, or the unreality that is drug addiction right? But the line right after that, no such thing as struggling, that sounds just right.
The 'grounded in my whole self' part is meant to show that the normal feeling for them is feeling the high, and they feel out of place when they aren't high.
Thanks for the feedback
-
Very good job. I know quite a few people in this very same situation, and this is fairly spot on to what I see happening to them. I can see why MoonRide42 feels the way he does about the "grounded in my whole self" bit, but I see it as a very good double meaning. The way I read it, especially closer to the end, it comes across as only being whole during the use and later on being whole when trying to stop. However, I do think the last line of the song should be slightly revised to fit in more with the content of the rest of the stanza. May I suggest going from "Bow down to holes in my skin" to something along the lines of "Shut down the holes in my skin"? I think it would fit in with the perceived idea of recovering a little better. All in all, amazing work. Can't wait to see what else you've got!
Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight? It appears quite black. Have you ever seen spiders crawling on the graves? -
Thankyou Originally Posted by Sewn Up
That's a really nice idea. I was a bit sceptical of the last part myself, and your suggestion fits perfectly.
