Fake

I'm tired of everything, I've been thinking of a
million ways to say it, but none really seem to fit
I'm on the edge and about to loose my ****
I wana split and run away as fast as my legs will permit
but I can't, I'm not allowed to give in and submit
I have to make it through, but I must admit
I don't really want to, I want this to be it
I want to go home and give up and call it quits

Appearances are everything so I wear a mask
because if people knew how I really felt
they'd have a lot of questions to ask
I can't handle explaining problems they won't understand
I'm not up to the task

I thought I had everything figured out
I thought I knew what I needed
what I've gone so long without
but now that I've got it I'm filled with doubt
So I'm trying to re-discover what my lifes all about
and pick up all the pieces and choose a new route

Chorus: I can't do it anymore, I can't act fake
one more false smile and I'm gonna break
there is too much **** to deal with and
theres not much more I can take
all the stress is giving me a headache and keeping me awake
I can't even control my muscles and nerves
I'm starting to shake, please someone help me fix this mistake

What do you do when you finally get what you've been searching for
seven years of disappointment and pain I just can't ignore
I'm thinking of all the feelings I bottled up and kept in store
and now I'm asking myself why I opened my door
this is what I wanted isn't it? I thought so but now I'm unsure

What do you do when nothing is what you expected
when you've been isolated forever and repedately rejected
now I have to play clean up again, I have to pick up
all the pieces I've already collected many times before
off of this same old floor, only this time I'm not capable of doing it anymore

Nothings right but nothings wrong
at least on the outside, I have to look strong
when people ask what my problem is
I have to string them along
cause I know the truth will change their view of me
it will change the way they look at me, and the person they see
this is my life not some drama on tv
so I'm not willing to let the truth free

Cause some things are out of our control
but it doesn't change the fact that these
problems still exist, it may be cinical
but sometimes we just can't obtain our goal
I'm sorry if this depresses you but all
this stress is taking its toll
I feel half empty and I just want to be whole
If I believed it would make things better I would sell my soul

Chorus

I feel myself slipping, it's getting harder and harder
to keep up this act, I can't keep pretending
to be happy when I'm not, I've already cracked
I know people will eventually notice so I'm
waiting to see how they react and the
magnitude of their impact that it will extract
I'm half-hoping that in the end I will still be intact

I'm sorry if this is unclear but I can't really explain,
I'm trapped out of fear, so you ask what's wrong
now your waitinig on an answer that you won't hear
but please don't feel bad, I won't even tell my friends
or my dad, I'm trying to be sincere but I can't shed a tear
because I'm afraid of how it will appear

Hopefully one day I will be strong enough to adhere
but for now the time is drawing near
now I'm standing on the edge of this pier
looking into the murky depths waiting
for all the answers that I already know aren't there

Now I have to say goodbye, Mom and Dad I love you
and it's not your fault so please don't ask yourself why
I know your gonna miss me but please don't cry
I think you know what I'm trying to imply
and I know you want me to stay but that's
a request that I'm gonna have to deny
there's just nothing you can do no matter how hard you try
please don't watch the news, and yes I know my car can't fly
and I don't want any more bad press about drugs
I'm not doing this because I'm high in fact
I woulda done it sooner if I hadn't used them, no lie
well that's all I have to say so I'll say it one last time, goodbye

That is intense stuff. Hope it all works out for you ... cos it seems you really wrote from your heart

It has so much feeling! It's really great, and so true....almost made me cry

I really like this. It's very "real." This type of honest writing really allows the reader/listener to feel the emotion. Great writing.