War with time - written just now in moment of inspriation (or madness)

Usually in these moments when I suddenly get an idea, I write a verse or a chorus and no more. I came up with a whole song this time in 40 minutes. A first for me, and hope you like the song.


You take a pen you take my life
you plot it out in black and white
The line is you the dot is me
The places labelled A and B

Yesterday is history
but it's my life, I want it back
Time is pulling me way too fast
I'd do anything to stop the track
I want life back
I'm in a war with time

This is your life what do you mean
Time asks me as he turns the key
We drive away from everything
that ever meant something to me

Yesterday is history
but it's my life, I want it back
Time is pulling me way too fast
I'd do anything to stop the track
I want life back
I'm in a war with time

I'm leaving again so I say
Life was awesome why can't I stay
Time is constantly pulling me away
while I cling to trees where I want to stay

Yesterday is history
but it's my life, I want it back
Time is pulling me way too fast
I'd do anything to stop the track
I want life back
I'm in a war with time
Pushing his buttons and in hope he'll rewind
In my war with time

I can SO relate to it !

This set is amazingly relateable. I think that concept of having lost time and wanting to get it back is something that a lot of people think about and just don't really talk about for fear of sounding like they're whining. The way you put your ideas out there was executed very well for someone that has typically only done bits and pieces to a song. The only advice I feel the need to give is to just pay attention to the flow because I felt that some of the lines didn't really fit with the flow of either the following or preceeding lines. Either way, it was beautifully written. Kudos!

It's funny that you wrote something about wanting to get back lost time. I recently wrote one along the same lines with some of my own personal events. I'd love to see what you think.

http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/ly...ath-of-me.html

Thanks! I'll check that out Sewn Up

This seems more like a poem....Not really o song...just a poem with good rhyming. Make your verses longer and get more rythem and it will be good!

Originally Posted by Steve0

This seems more like a poem....Not really o song...just a poem with good rhyming. Make your verses longer and get more rythem and it will be good!

Good, cuz i've got an assignment to write a poem about being a passenger, so I think i'm gonna use bits of this, becuase it's about being a passenger of time.