what do you think about my lyrics ?

Thread: what do you think about my lyrics ?

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  1. Babe123 said:

    Talking what do you think about my lyrics ?

    Hi, im new here so be nice ... i jus wrote this a couple of hours ago randomly, thought i would have a go at it (a bit of funn i supoose) .. and wanted to know what you guys thought, if i need improving if so on which of part.
    Enjoy!

    Thanks x



    Being scared to say enough
    To stand up
    Being done all because of love
    You criticize
    No made up lies
    With such embrace

    It’s because you care
    But I’m still terrified
    Of being a failure to you
    And my own life
    So I cry at night
    Praying for a better life

    Having minimal capability
    Nor responsibility
    Was foolish of me to not try

    How you hurt me, has no visibility
    Afraid to let you down I push you away
    You break my heart
    Until the next day
    We restart
    Again
    Then depart

    You make me this way
    Your definition of perfection
    Is the distraction
    As you say
    You say you love me
    But never sorry

    Honestly
    Though we tried
    You can't deny
    The sound of my battle cry
    At night proves
    Ive lost the fight.

    Oversensitive
    Closeness
    Have their difference’s
    Like I’m defensive
    I’m tired of trying
    Trying to turn back time

    To stand up and say I’m crashing
    When the feeling is all or nothing
    You made me this way
    Punishing me for trying
    To be what you wanted
    You made me this way
     
  2. Babe123 said:

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    anyone............. -_-
     
  3. WhenSummerComes said:

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    I like it for a fast upbeat song and if like a band like never shout never type of voice sang it....
     
  4. cah said:

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    I think it sounds good for real, but I think if you really want it to be a song then you should try to get some sort of chorus going. Not saying you have to, just something to think about.
     
  5. Babe123 said:

    Default

    Thanks for the advice much appreciated .. i will hopfully work on it soon x