2nd rap plz tell me what you think

please tell me what you think

I'm like an animal wit it when i spit it its crazy
aint no time for me to slow down and start feeling lazy
so now i wonder is it worth it? why wont they pay me?
but i guess rap is rap and not everyone's shady

but next time you come and tell me i cant rap
i dont write my lyrics all stupid like blapity blap
i write my lyrics like the pros the ones like pac
and if you wanna show your skill and freestyle that
ill go at you, and ill still keep this rap **** cocked back

i wish i had a pro and could say go fifty cent
but i messed up in life and now my paths all bent
hell i dont even have enough money to pay my own rent
that why i sit here and wonder if im really ment
i guess my only hope is if this song gets sent

this is the 2nd song of my life i wonder how it is?
why dont you cridicts out there tell me what i can fix

Not as good as your other one, not even close. This one is very cliche and you seem to be unsure of just what you're trying to say.

First, remember that it doesn't have to rhyme to sound good. Second, while repitition can be helpful to get your point across, it can just as easily make you sound unintelligent, like the lines:

i dont write my lyrics all stupid like blapity blap
i write my lyrics like the pros the ones like pac

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid of synonyms. Like, for one of those lines you could say 'these/my words/lines' instead of 'my lyrics'.
Am I making any sense?