Heaven or Hell

Thread: Heaven or Hell

Tags: None
  1. Hugo Zhor said:

    Default Heaven or Hell

    There are just two places to come
    When you are leaving and youīre gone
    Heaven is for all god slavers
    And Hell is for evil sinners
    Itīs been and itīs going to be…for you and me

    Bridge 1:
    Itīs easy to believe in something
    Thatīs nice fairytale
    It must be really amazing
    To the other side to sail

    Chorus:
    Heaven or Hell - there is no place when we are leaving
    Heaven or Hell - itīs a make of our thoughts
    Heaven or Hell - on our Earth we are creating
    Heaven or Hell - itīs our choice

    Heaven or Hell is here and now
    Not up above or down below
    Which empire is ruling
    It depends on our doing
    There are just devils and angels…but among us

    Bridge 2:
    Stop thinking of life after death
    Wake up from dreaming
    We can create Heaven on Earth
    During our living

    Chorus:
    Heaven or Hell - there is no place when we are leaving
    Heaven or Hell - itīs a make of our thoughts
    Heaven or Hell - on our Earth we are creating
    Heaven or Hell - itīs our choice

    Believe me itīs not a lie
    As it is youīre gonna die

    Have a nice afterlife in Heaven or Hell
    Last edited by Hugo Zhor; 05-17-2011 at 08:29 AM. Reason: grammar
     
  2. Aidanr14 said:

    Default

    All i can say is wow,
    This is really quite good you should record some music for the background
     
  3. Paul Orhan's Avatar

    Paul Orhan said:

    Default

    I wouldn't be able to prove it scientifically, of course, but even if I didn't know you were Czech by origin I would bet that it was written by a Slav person !!!

    There's something in the way you create sentences, the syntax that you use here and also in the way you translate your ideas into the lyrics that's so close to my way of seeing things and thinking !

    I like the main idea of the lyrics. However, truth be said, these lyrics are somewhat weaker than your previous songs/poems; maybe because of the black and white duality used throughout the lyrics, eg. good/evil - devils/angels - god slavers/evil sinners, while in reality there are more shades of grey on the palette...

    On the other hand, though, verse 2:
    "Heaven or Hell is here and now
    Not up above or down below
    Which an empire is ruling
    It depends on our doing
    There are just devils and angels…but among us"

    is very gracious, indeed!

    I wouldn't be myself if I didn't add the following comments (to the best of my knowledge ):
    - there shouldn't be "an" between which and empire in verse 2;
    - you rather wake up from dreaming (bridge 2);
    - "Itīs easy to believe something / Thatīs nice fairytale" - I'd add 'in" after "believe" (bridge 1);

    - during our living - hmmmm this is correct, of course, but what would you say to "while we're still living";
    - "there is no place when we are leaving" - as I understand, this refers to the opening phrase but ... something's not right in this sentence - the use of "when" as opposed to "place" is misleading;
    - "As it is youīre gonna die" - do you mean: "As it is, you're gonna die" or "As it is you who's gonna die"?

    Bests from WAW, Paul
     
  4. Hugo Zhor said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aidanr14 View Post
    All i can say is wow,
    This is really quite good you should record some music for the background
    Thank you. Iīm glad you like. Sorry, no music. Music is only in my head
     
  5. Hugo Zhor said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Orhan View Post
    I wouldn't be able to prove it scientifically, of course, but even if I didn't know you were Czech by origin I would bet that it was written by a Slav person !!!

    There's something in the way you create sentences, the syntax that you use here and also in the way you translate your ideas into the lyrics that's so close to my way of seeing things and thinking I like the main idea of the lyrics. However, truth be said, these lyrics are somewhat weaker than your previous songs/poems; maybe because of the black and white duality used throughout the lyrics, eg. good/evil - devils/angels - god slavers/evil sinners, while in reality there are more shades of grey on the palette...

    On the other hand, though, verse 2:
    "Heaven or Hell is here and now
    Not up above or down below
    Which an empire is ruling
    It depends on our doing
    There are just devils and angels…but among us"

    is very gracious, indeed!
    Thank you.
    Youīre right that my lyrics show non english person in verse building and thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Orhan View Post
    I wouldn't be myself if I didn't add the following comments (to the best of my knowledge ):
    No itīs okay. I appreciate your grammar advices

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Orhan View Post
    - "there is no place when we are leaving" - as I understand, this refers to the opening phrase but ... something's not right in this sentence - the use of "when" as opposed to "place" is misleading;
    There could be "there is no place where we are leaving". I thought it like in time when we are leaving there is no place where we go.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Orhan View Post
    - "As it is youīre gonna die" - do you mean: "As it is, you're gonna die" or "As it is you who's gonna die"?
    It means: "As it is, you're gonna die"