came up with in the shower just now

Thread: came up with in the shower just now

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  1. Carpe dium said:

    Default came up with in the shower just now

    dead, and blind
    now you start to cry
    and i am forced to say its alright

    now you turn, to me
    but i walk away
    because the way you stare
    it burns.

    you couldve stayed
    then you wouldve been saved
    but you ran away
    so your mind starts to fray

    you told me " i wanna sit on the edge"
    i told you "you'd just end up screaming my name"
    but when you fell
    you shouted"now your the one screaming my name"
    Last edited by Carpe dium; 08-24-2010 at 09:31 PM.
     
  2. Miki Digi's Avatar

    Miki Digi said:

    Default

    It seems a little typical. The whole "you need me more than i need you" thing is very obvious. I would try adding some lyrics that wouldnt give that away so early, you know? But I do like where this song is going.
    "I'm a ruler that wears a pair of boots with low heels; Why yes I am a lady King. Does this bother you?"
     
  3. Carpe dium said:

    Default

    does it really give that feeling? eh not wat i was going for ill work on it thanks anyway bro