
Original Song. Hope you guys like it
Thread: Original Song. Hope you guys like it
-
LouieS27 said:
07-29-2015 10:35 PM
Original Song. Hope you guys like it
Without You
I can't make it through this world without you
Although there are many other girls
No one can compare to what you can do
Without you I can't go on
You make me feel blue for so long
I've been near you but you never knew this pain
Why does loving you seem like a game
Oh baby , you are who I adore
Your beauty is everything I look for
Darling you make my life worthwhile
It gets better every time you smile
Oh baby , you are who I adore
It's you and your love and nothing more
Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
Darling this is really a dream come true
This couldn't have been possible without you
I'll keep you happy at all cost
Because without you I'll will be lost
They tell me don't look back and move forward
But sweetheart without you , I wouldn't know what to move toward
Oh baby , you are who I adore
Your presence is what I get out of bed for
You gave me a perfect first impression
An angel with a heart full of passion
Darling you make my life worthwhile
I gain happiness each time you smile
Oh baby , you are who I adore
It's you and your love and nothing more
Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
Darling this is really a dream come true
This couldn't have been possible without you
Oh baby , you are who I adore
It's you and your love and nothing more
Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
Darling this is really a dream come true
This couldn't have been possible without you
-
MR.BULLSHIT said:
08-01-2015 02:44 PM
-
anonymous said:
11-18-2015 05:10 PM
Thanks for submitting it's always good to get your ideas out there.
I don't know if you're looking for criticism, but I think this is solid if it's aiming to be on par with a lot of surface-level, lacking a deeper meaning content that is published today. If you are looking to create something with a powerful and more moving message I recommend some revision. The song has a lot of lyrics that seem so familiar that I've heard before. I feel like it's too vague and uses a lot of the standard vocabulary from a love song. For example that chorus/hook:

Originally Posted by
LouieS27
Oh baby , you are who I adore
It's you and your love and nothing more
Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
Darling this is really a dream come true
This couldn't have been possible without you
There are some cliches in there and if this was intentional then good job. If not then I would be more than happy to give more feedback and help collaborate on this with you. Again thanks for sharing because it's good to share your content. Hope I didn't sound too harsh.