First Song

I just want someone's opinion on this song:

The Shadows of Life
Verse 1:
I was looking for a friend
Someone to look up to
But no one seemed to care about me
As a result, I became self centered
A shadow of life

Chorus:
The shadows of life are around the world
I'm not the only one
All we need is a friend

Verse 2:
As I grew older
I tried making friends
But I never grew out of my shell
And my family was worried

[Chorus]
[Chorus]

Verse 3:
They looked for help to change my view of life
But I just can't look at things from a new perspective
I grew up this way, and I will stay this way

[Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Chorus]

Verse 4:
I am now only after my destiny
I am after a useful purpose
I must achieve whatever it is I need to accomplish
At any cost, I will do this

[Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Chorus]

Verse 5:
If I would have had a friend from the start
I may have picked a different path
But because I didn't
Destiny is the only thing
That matters to me

It's always hard to tell about the quality of a song when it doesn't really follow a rhyme scheme. If I heard it in song form I might think differently, but my main advice is to work on rhyming.

Originally Posted by Brian's love Child

It's always hard to tell about the quality of a song when it doesn't really follow a rhyme scheme. If I heard it in song form I might think differently, but my main advice is to work on rhyming.

What? Good lyrics are good lyrics. The rhyme scheme shouldn't determine the quality of the song btw zoku i think you did a good job on this PEACE