Look, I've dropped this pr*ck once before -
still, 'rook' rocks 'dunce' scripts like a sport.

You're cooked. A 'walking' stiff.. - ..my drops 'run' boards.
Lose?.. Quit talkin sh*t an check my report...

You resort to weak 'bars', foundations don't hold..
I'd challenged you to an above par flow.... but you'd fold.

This is so old,
I've gray hairs from your talantless actions.
I should rip your so-called 'rappin' to fractions.

I'm so far ahead, you can't see my shadow.
I've more words than gazettes - your slurs are shallow..

I 'tossed' more 'dears' than fallow - you toss text right?
I'll spare you gallows - but you can bow down I'm my headlights..

'Loss of text right' you be runnin 'dim-lights'
'I can't see you're shadow' cause you're so small you turned hollow
'Gray hairs' you're to old for these 'affairs'
You say I'm 'cooked' last time i checked my bars are raw
You're rhymes sound like blah blah blah
You're half way crooked
Last i checked you're still 'half way cooked'
'Talentless actions' You're losing you're traction
You're rhymes got no extraction
Next line next rhyme let's see you're reaction

Originally Posted by smoothtung

What... respectful dues? cool - but... respect 'full'-dues ...
'Intellectualy' I'm bejeweld.
'S' be you? - nah...
Skewed gene pool.

Gee. Cool... -
.. you did your homework -
But.... what, pre-school?
My heightened fight 'bites' like bone spurs in your knee fool...

Pristine tools are authentic - ya condescending menace.
I'm on to something - hot scripts. an only a freshman -

(None can contest-with my impeccable regiment)

I'm a progressively professional vessel with an impediment.
I'll 'k-k-k'kill your obsessively oppressive testaments...

Your best kid?
I'm 'in'charge like the blue team in san Diego
You've a need for a re-'charge' like your 'UBS_' frayed n broke

you'd better check the send list coz I've never said I'm "best, kid"..
but you still get the message coz I'm lyrically invested.
I'm a "professional".. caretaker, an'..
I've pride in my raps, so.. fam.. I take care of 'em.

I won't claim you're lame, it'd be a straight front.
I do like your style.. but wait, I ain't done..
your drops are ok but you could've pushed for great stuff.
fam.. this lyrical smack's just to help you wake up.

you display passion for rap.. made an actual track..
but you hide your own music.
if you've got "hot script" ..then you don't use it.
if.. "progressively pro" then you're not prone to prove it.
if you've prodigal prose then produce it...

you've barely any content and the context's-traceless.
your vocab steez seems.. ostentatious.
you've 'spirit but no substance' style like a phantasm.
I'm Rap's 'Grand-Master'.. but I'd "K-K-Kill" klan gangers.
you ain't so diverse like you live in a 'white 'hood'.
but other than that fact your drops are quite good.
fam..

never settle for 'quite'-though..
..not "bejeweled", it's decked in rhinestones.

I've more worth and less of the vanity.
My "testaments".. test-a-mental capacity.
My "tool is pristine"..
it's like Smooth' licks 'em clean.
Smooth' leads like the "blue team" though?
it's blue to represent your bruised ego.
a "heightened fight" dawg? ..you don't 'spitfire'.
and you'll 'B-52' before you can hit higher.

Originally Posted by Deleterious

'Loss of text right' you be runnin 'dim-lights'
'I can't see you're shadow' cause you're so small you turned hollow
'Gray hairs' you're to old for these 'affairs'
You say I'm 'cooked' last time i checked my bars are raw
You're rhymes sound like blah blah blah
You're half way crooked
Last i checked you're still 'half way cooked'
'Talentless actions' You're losing you're traction
You're rhymes got no extraction
Next line next rhyme let's see you're reaction

My methods are strong - and my rhetoric's limpid.
Am I reading wrong? ....or are you illiterate.

Your mediocre 'deleterious' - that's not deliberate...
An if I'm old bro - you're a prehistoric hypocrite.

'Next line? next rhyme'? You couldn't handle the first...
wana be on my level guy? down a 'handle' first...

My intangibles'll strangle full pages you bring me.
An if I've 'no traction', than I'm on skates - 'rink speed'

You're 'methods' won't work for a rap, maybe a song
You're reading wrong 'Dead wrong'
'Handle' You need to get you're hand off my dills
Go off and stay high on pills
Be a man and earn some kills
I am 'Prehistoric', I'm so old school You can't tell if you're an old 'fool'
'rink speed' Sounds like you need a 'pink me'
You're smooth, tung with no drips
You lick d1ck try, till it crumbles and tips
You are murky and unclear
Listen close cause you need to hear
Stop acting endear
Step up 'face to face' right here

Dude...no offense but that was awful.
ha I'll come at ya after work tho if u want.

wat no that was pretty good

im new at battles even if i lose the only way to get better is to try

ok if i 'suck' tell me how i get better

Originally Posted by Deleterious

umm alot of people say i need double syllable
i wanna be able to flip but idk what part to flip and how

Here's something I posted a while back. some thoughts on rhyming with "double syllables" or more (polysyllabic rhyming) and flips.
I think that breaking rhyme schemes down into 'chaining' and 'stacking' syllables is very useful and worth getting to grips with.
do ask if you want clarification on anything- there's no shame in learning and practising.
_____


poly-syllabic rhymes are quite important, in my opinion.
you could rhyme with longer syllable 'chaining'.
for example:
"spit" / "sh*t" = single.
"sabre" / "flavor" = 2 syllable chain.
"lightsabre" / "my flavour" = 3 syllable chain.

each of those examples carry through just 2 repetitions. you could 'stack' more repetitions of the rhyme chains though.
for example:
"sabre" / "flavour" / "danger" / "crater" = 4 repetitions.
you could use one of those at the the end of each line (to carry over 4 lines) or use them in fewer lines as 'internals' (carrying over 2 lines)

beyond that, you can juggle more than one syllable chain at a time (usually as internals), or try fracturing off parts of chains to stack as internals. but there it gets more complex.

In my opinion a great way to start off or just to practise is with flips.. where you quote or refer to something your opponent said, but flip it back on them or advance it somehow. the relevance of a good flip can be very effective.
scan through an opponent's drop until you think of some basic concept with which to respond to something they've said.
then think of how to express it afterwards, in good rhyme form.
if you're going to flip with a quote it can be most effective when the quote is included as part of your rhyme scheme.

eh.. sorry if any of that's too obvious or not clear enough.

yea i've been practicing with flips lol smooth will problay beat me again but i feel i did just a little better this time

Originally Posted by smoothtung

Dude...no offense but that was awful.
ha I'll come at ya after work tho if u want.

You know wat smooth
I'll unleash some new moves
Come at you with a different groove
Me against you, you better disapprove I'm better than you
I've improved Time to get you off this map, removed
In this style there's no flips
You're rhymes, I eclipse
Better go on some new trips
My Grip is Like hot iron, yet I'm colder than Iceland
I bet this rhyme you unplanned
I could beat you with my off-hand
You better think to disband
Because worth sh1t, you can't withstand

you've gone a'stray, dawg'. You sought to drop flyer.
Tho topped at sub par... - ought to gnarl like a 'Rottwieler'.

For what you aspire you are direly undersdressed...
Get a new attire or - fall entirely like the rest.

I press the fact, bro - that you are not up to speed,
But geez,
I didn't mean that you didn't have some steez.

I feed emcees with both style an perseverance,
An I see there's something worthwhile behind that appearance.

So don't write with clearance - push the damn limits kid
If its light, 'clear it'. Aight? - don't dish something timid.

Originally Posted by smoothtung

you've gone a'stray, dawg'. You sought to drop flyer.
Tho topped at sub par... - ought to gnarl like 'Rottwielers'.

For what you aspire you are direly undersdressed...
Get a new attire or - fall entirely like the rest.

I press the fact, bro - that you are not up to speed,
But geez,
I didn't mean that you didn't have some steez.

I feed emcees with both style an perseverance,
An I see there's something worthwhile behind that appearance.

So don't write with clearance - push the damn limits
If its light, 'clear it' - don't dish something timid.

'appearance' you 'appear-to-angst'
Like a 'Rottweiler' You 'rott-the-tire'
I'm under sbu and you smooth But, I'll still wright, still try
Till i hit sky high for fall out and die
I'll push you're skills
Weaken You're spills
I'll 'clear-it' make dam sure you hear it
I'll make dam sure you fear it
So I'll R.I.P you're grave
Let's see if you're brave

No flips

You've got perseverance kid - an I like that.
I just like to sever rants, ha - cause I'm like that.

I'm cleverly enhanced - an too ready to fight back...
But I should be fatherly probably so, 'nice rap'.

But nah,
on the real though..
Your flow I'm like, sorta diggin'..
But there's more to writtens - (yea its a poor description)....

But your decisions are to listen an script til your crimson,
Or fall short on any beat you thought you've been ripping.

Go though,
And take the next step from basic.
Tho dont stray for fame its a waste. - (I'm impatient)
Right now you're at makeshift facelift or fake tit,
I'm building your fire to go higher than a spaceship..

I'm dismissing your whack dises like a bit*h who's bad at kissin'
deleting you from the system, defeating you without permission
Beatiing you in submission, eating you like a cannibal dis regarding all restriction
your elementary rhyme patterns are so played out there non existent

Originally Posted by Deleterious

'April fools' you're in the wrong season fool
You're more like 'Santa' You're yelling I'm a 'H*e H*e'
Get it 'ho ho'
I think that's a no no
I go to 'school' to make sure you get 'schooled'
I'm not 'gay' You're begging sbu for foreplay
He's rapping 'GO THE F*CK AWAY'

Cutting edge; lyrical skill saw; fine tuning head
re-defining led. Now this jabber jaw is dead
For what this jabber jaw said - he pleas to be fed
For what he sees in his head gets slept on just like bed's
Instead of learning from each thread, this guy's burning with re-venge
Many you don't understand what a coe'd is; were not coe'ds kid
you fall under rule of cy pres
cause the sh*it you say is foriegn like an out of state Simon says is

Besides SBU and Smooth these postings have been pretty effin subpar.
Yall got no substance to your rhymes, its like reading a Dr. Suess book. Be creative and wild with your rhymes; say whatever the hell you wanna. Quit restricting yourselves to trying to use words that I dont even think you understand. Besides that, almost none of you (besides SBU and Smooth obviously) have any punches or actually attacks towards whomever you are battling. Your rhymes have no logical transitions and are honestly some of the blandest lines I have ever read. I'm not the most technical rapper on this forum, but I bet if you ask anyone here, they will tell you that my flow and creativity make up for it. If you suck at rapping, practice is awesome, and I'm glad that your trying to get better by battling SBU and Smooth, but if you don't know what your doing or don't listen to actually skilled rappers, your gonna have a hard time rapping. Immerse yourselves into true hip-hop, not f4ckin Brick Squad and Young Money. Sure Brick Squad gets you hype as hell but they are garbage rappers, even Waka admits he sucks at rapping. Listen to the greats, and I dont mean just Tupac and Biggie, because they aren't the best; commercially, yes, but best, no. For the next week, before you even think about writing another rhyme, go listen to some of the following:
KRS-One, Rakim, Wu Tang Clan, Redman, Big L, Lord Finesse, Earl Sweatshirt, Tyler the Creator, NAS, AZ, Eminem (Infinite and Slim Shady LP albums, not so much his recent stuff), Busta Rhymes, Blu, Olu, ASHER ROTH, Lupe Fiasco, A Tribe Called Quest, Charles Hamilton, Chip The Rippa, Drake (Early stuff), Jay-Z (Early Stuff), MF Doom, OutKast (and not f4ckin "Hey Ya"), Snoop Dogg (First Album), Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Wale (before his ambition album that was garbage), Slaughterhouse.
Some specific albums I would highly recommend would be:
Infinite-Eminem, Illmatic/It Was Written-Nas, Doe or Die-AZ, Bastard/Golbin-Tyler, the Creator, Earl-Earl Sweatshirt, Seared Foie Gras with Quince and Cranberry Sauce-Asher Roth, Whut Thee Album-Redman, Wu Tang Forever/Enter the 36th Chamber/The W-Wu Tang Clan, Liquid Swords-GZA, Big Picture/Lifestylez Ov Da Poor and Dangerous-Big L, Elmatic-Elzhi, Doggystyle-Snoop Doggy Dog, Comeback Season/So Far Gone (Full Version)-Drake, Below the Heavens-Blu and Exile,ATLiens-Outkast, Back to the Feature-Wale, Food and Liquor/The Cool (These two albums got me into rap)-Lupe Fiasco, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx (Its a series)-Raekwon the Chef, It's Charles Hamilton-Charles Hamilton, Stoner Charm-Kid Cudi, Low End Theory-A Tribe Called Quest, Operation Doomsday-MF Doom, P3-Olu, Reasonable Doubt/The Blueprint-Jay Z, Sleeping In Class-Casey Veggies, The Awakening-Lord Finesse, The Coming-Busta Rhymes, What The Duff-Jody Duff, The Swelly Express-Chiddy Bang.

There's enough there to find something that you truly like personally. Once you find a style that you enjoy, you'll find that rapping comes easier because you have something/someone to emulate. Whether it be all flow and swag like Big L and Lord Finesse, dark with excellent flow/creativity like Earl Sweatshirt and Eminem on the Slim Shady LP, amazing technique like Elzhi, just being great like Nas, AZ, and Jay-Z, or using crazy word play like GZA, fast rapping like recent Busta Rhymes or Twista. When I first posted on here, Molotova told me that it sounded like all I ever did was flow, and thats because all I did was listen to Big L and Nas and try to replicate them as much as possible. Take as much as you can and your own creativity and then you'll be on the path to not rapping horrendously.

Haha well put dawg

E40 and aesop as well.

Originally Posted by DuceDaMicRipper

I'm dismissing your whack dises like a bit*h who's bad at kissin'
deleting you from the system, defeating you without permission
Beatiing you in submission, eating you like a cannibal dis regarding all restriction
your elementary rhyme patterns are so played out there non existent

You're bland as f*ck - 'slam it shut', you slanderous mut.
You're cancerous, yeut.. - ..an what, rancorous of landed stuff?

Man, stop -
You're Cadaverous - emulate my habbits.
I'm an addict, an I calculate rap like 'pythagoras'

You haggered this ^^
'Stagger' a bit - 'from...from' my fatter bombs.
My 'scattered nepalm' rap attacks what you, YOU 'patterned' wrong.

ok ill use everything but idk if it would be good or not im still learning with disses