Mom and dad are at it again
so he slips his headphones on
Escaping into a daydream
where nothing is ever wrong
He's up on stage in the bright lights
and the crowd is singing along
His mom and dad are in the front row
and he's singing them this song.
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The sun's still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The sun's still there
Even when its night
His sister's in her bedroom
playing with her favorite dolls
Pretending their mommy and daddy
and their happy within her walls.
She is humming to herself
a tune she somehow came to know
and if you added her brothers words
this is how the song would go
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The sun's still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The sun's still there
Even when its night
If only they would sing along with the song their children sing
they might just see the darkness flee and the sunshine it can bring
Singing..
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The sun's still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The sun's still there
Even when its night
ŠL. James Tanner
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The Sun's Still There
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James,this has potential but it needs some editing in the verses.Way too wordy.I always try to sing with the lyrics,if I can't figure out a way they "sing"the lyrics,to me,needs improving.The storyline is good,but try to trim it down.If you have a melody in mind that works,ignore everything I've said!
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Tell me if this is any better and if you see some probs.
Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
Mom and dad are at it again
so he slips his headphones on
Escaping into a daydream
where nothing is ever wrong
He's up on stage in bright lights
and the crowd is singing along
With mom and dad in the front row
he's singing them this song.
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The suns still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The suns still there
Even when its night
His sister's in her bedroom
playing with her dolls
Pretending they're mommy and daddy
and they're happy within her walls.
She is humming to herself
a tune she came to know
and if you add her brothers words
this is how their song would go
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The suns still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The suns still there
Even when its night
If only they would sing along with the song their children sing
they might just see the darkness flee and the sunshine it can bring
Singing..
It'll be ok
It'll be alright
The suns still there
Even when its night
When times are dark
Don't forget the light
The suns still there
Even when its night
ŠL. James TannerLast edited by LooknGlass; 12-03-2012 at 03:05 PM.
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I especially like the first 4 lines. We do use music to escape.
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James, I'm glad I had some influence on you. Now, it's relatable AND singable! Excellent improvement, well done!
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You got that right. I did it a lot. My parents fought constantly and I had headphones on listening to music most of my teenage years. Originally Posted by Jim Colyer
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You're a good influence for sure and thanks for the tip and praise....You know,you could have influenced me quicker if you would have offered me a beer. I would have had the revision posted even faster! Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
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Sorry,I'm not 21!!
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lol...I was joking anyway, I rarely drink. But to be truthful, today was such a nice day I almost had one. Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
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I was hoping you'd buy I wasn't 21!!Oh well,swing and miss! Originally Posted by LooknGlass
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.........actually I did buy that. That's one demerit for you! Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
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LookNGlass, yeah, as a musician I agree with JJC: the first lines are terribly important!
I don't think the songlyrics are that sad: we learn to live with the uneasiness of our parents- even though to outsiders (children are in a way too!)
may find it distressing and painfull.
A more sarcastic tone might have sharpened the edge a bit.
But great theme! Thanks.
