This is a song that I never was completely happy with.I'm posting it although it may not be the best version I have of it.Since if I don't post it now,I may lose it in the pile of half finished songs that pile up around my home.Hope you like it.

Opposites Attract

I say yes
You say no
I'd like to stay
You up and go

I lean left
You turn right
You like day
I party at night

I can no longer
Make the scene
We can't agree
On anything

Opposites Attract
Yes,that's true
But,I can no longer
Be with you

You listen to Rap
I play the Blues
You feel entitled
I've paid my dues

I look up
You bring me down
When I smile
You start to frown

I can no longer
Make the scene
We can't agree
On anything

Opposites Attract
Yes,that's true
But,I can no longer
Be with you

I like to sing
You'd rather dance
I fly to England
You sail to France

I drink coffee
You sip tea
I love you
You hate me

I can no longer
Turn the other cheek
When there's so many
Secrets you keep

Opposites Attract
Yes,that's true
But,I can no longer
Be with you

12/29/2012

Doug, the key to this song will be the music. Let's face it, some songs have been primarily phrases repeated over and over, yet they've made it as classics (the only one I can think of now is "Hey, Jude"). Your lyrics are fine, though not earth-shattering. This could still be a hit, though; do you have music? If not, what kind of music do you imagine with it?

Lyrics this simple could go with almost any kind of music.A simple 4/4 rock beat,is what will probably happen.It could be a good doo-w*p song considering how simple the lyrics are.I can't believe that even music genres are censored on this site,shame on you!!!!!!!

I understand, Doug. I can't use my country expressions because it **bleeps** them out; and they are not obscene at all!

What I was getting at about the music is that it not be "trite." The poetry of it is fine; if put with a doo-*** song, it's all been done before. But if put, e.g., with a unique rock melody, it could be very good! Or, if you like the "new" version of "doo-***" or lighter-style music, I'd say in the style of One Direction, Owl City, or James Blunt, etc. Examples:


[QJO3ROT-A4E]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E[/video]

Not these specific tempos, but the style of modern music . . .


[wzumsXtyCW4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzumsXtyCW4[/video]

Yes,that would work.One Direction could definely make these lyrics work.The second video doesn't play,but I think you get the point.I just posted it before I lost it.It's about last on my list of songs to play if and when I play with the band again.

You have so many better ones; still, do not downplay this one too much. It all depends upon the music style, because the message definitely "goes" in today's market!

"Selling" it on a more serious note would be to "Civil Wars," who "play" with just such lyrics . . . in an "I-love-you/I-love-you-not" method, but with fantastic music. E.g.,

[Qcw-MIi8S_4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcw-MIi8S_4[/video]

Just wait until I post "The Lost Battle" It's about a guy who awakens on a *battlefield,no longer remembering which side he fought for.His clothes have been borrowed from dead soldiers and you get the drift.My problem has always been,getting the vibe to write on something that was hot when it started.I often find it hard to rekindle those flames of inspiration!(*Civil War,natch!)

Can't wait!

Doug,

This is well-written using the idea of opposites, a proven songwriting technique. The short lines help and with the right groove, it could really be nice.

Jim

Originally Posted by Jim Colyer

Doug,

This is well-written using the idea of opposites, a proven songwriting technique. The short lines help and with the right groove, it could really be nice.

Jim

Thanks,Jim.I started having my doubts.I know it's not as clever as my other songs,but in the right hands(not by me)could be a hit or at least a good song.Sometimes simple equals Commercial Success!

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Yes,that would work.One Direction could definely make these lyrics work.The second video doesn't play,but I think you get the point.I just posted it before I lost it.It's about last on my list of songs to play if and when I play with the band again.

Oooh-Frankie and Doug! Have the owls from my poems flown into the city,lol

Found a very rhythmical bunch of owls: Let them speak!

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

Doug, the key to this song will be the music. Let's face it, some songs have been primarily phrases repeated over and over, yet they've made it as classics (the only one I can think of now is "Hey, Jude"). Your lyrics are fine, though not earth-shattering. This could still be a hit, though; do you have music? If not, what kind of music do you imagine with it?

Well, Frankie,I can hear Diana Krall (Canadian jazzpianist/singer) or Ella Fitzgerald there swinging away.
Sure you remember this one:

"Let's Call The Whole Thing Of":" you say tomatoes and I say tomatoes
you say potatoes and I say potatoes....
let's call the whole thing of..."

George Gershwin, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald.........

HERE IT COMES:








(my laptop playin tricks on me, had to split this post in three parts,lol

If I know Amaryn,this was filmed right outside his window.Now I know where all your inspiration comes from!

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Just wait until I post "The Last Battle" It's about a guy who awakens on a *battlefield,no longer remembering which side he fought for.His clothes have been borrowed from dead soldiers and you get the drift.My problem has always been,getting the vibe to write on something that was hot when it started.I often find it hard to rekindle those flames of inspiration!(*Civil War,natch!)

Doug, did you follow-up on posting this song?

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

Doug, did you follow-up on posting this song?

Not yet,but I Think about it all the time.I haven't posted it because it has to be "just right".It's a song that is real good,so far,but it still hasn't be completed.Ironically most of my best stuff comes almost instantly.A few Ive worked on (Never Say Never)have been hammered out over a period of time."The Last Battle"is one I've worked on longer than almost any other song I've ever written.I'll let you know when it's posted,promise!

Opposites Attract
Yes,that's true
But,I can no longer
Be with you

The simplicity of words is what i liked the best in this. Excellent lyrics. And you always rhyme it well

Simple but to the point. I like it and think with the right music this can become grander. How the words are enunciated with the music can make it pop good too. Good write Doug, I don't get to see much of yours. You should post more often.