New here! Please rate my 16!

If your unaware, be prepared for the fresh newcomer
I'll slice and dice your rhymes around like a fresh cucumber
I'll treat it like a vegetable, and eat it cause its edible
Don't dare to compare our rhymes cause they aren't identical

Just a young mc waiting to make cd's and get discovered
Even if I don't I know I got folks appreciating my mix of words
I got a dream but I don't seem to follow it no twitter
And I choose not to lose and only to be a winner

I was born with music in my ears, "do it" says my brain
Which caused my first steps to walk in the so called "game"
Where people rhyme words to revert skills to attain
And talent shines then swallows as you start gaining fame

I might not come as hard as the other people do
But get this, I'm a lyricist, as I might try to prove
With some practice, when I rap this I'll show that I improve
When I show my pride, ya'll will recognize that my name is Re-Who

It's not bad, but you need more wordplay & rhyming. I think you get the concept though, for example:

With some practice, when I rap this I'll show that I improve
When I show my pride, ya'll will recognize that my name is Re-Who

Every color should be green, or the last word should be green and the blue words red or vice versa, u get it ?

good input MOLO!