Real Rap~~ Plz tell me if this is good or not and i do take constructive criticism

Thread: Real Rap~~ Plz tell me if this is good or not and i do take constructive criticism

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  1. Kidacrossthestreet said: 11-22-2010 05:09 PM

    Post Real Rap~~ Plz tell me if this is good or not and i do take constructive criticism

    Real Rap is a way to burn off some steam
    whether it be a break up or some fighting
    Rap stars rap about money and they h*'s
    I rap bout friends and my foes
    Rappers imma let u in on a lil somethin
    girls dont like guys who rap about some cheap *****
    Take it from a brotha who already knows...
    Some Girls may not think im cute but hell they know i speak the truth
    U dont gotta take it from a kid whos not even 13 but brotha i advise u believe me


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    tell me what yall think
    Last edited by Kidacrossthestreet; 11-22-2010 at 08:55 PM. Reason: Mispelled "Girls" and limited the cursing

  2. Kidacrossthestreet said: 11-22-2010 06:22 PM

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    Can we got some feedback up in here?!

  3. Molotova's Avatar

    Molotova said: 11-22-2010 07:20 PM

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    How do you like it yourself ?
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  4.  Kidacrossthestreet said: 11-22-2010 07:44 PM

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    I think its OKAY for something that took me 5 minutes to come up with

  5. Molotova's Avatar

    Molotova said: 11-22-2010 08:05 PM

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    It's not okay kid.
    1 <3

  6.  Kidacrossthestreet said: 11-22-2010 08:42 PM

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    Well in my defence this is the first rap ive ever wrote...any idea how to make it better?

  7. Molotova's Avatar

    Molotova said: 11-23-2010 04:27 AM

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    Erase it and write something new ?
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  8.  Colosso said: 11-23-2010 07:26 AM

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    neeeds a flow

  9. Jfam said: 11-29-2010 12:37 PM

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    yeah, need to just write something new and something longer. There really isn't a flow. The rhymes aren't really that good, try using assonance in your rhymes (if you don't know, google it) or words that actually sound the same. You wanna make sure they feel good coming out of your mouth but keep writing, for my first set of lyrics i actually re-wrote each verse from scratch about 2-3 times 'cos 1 line didn't flow!