(Lyrics by Brad Neely)

J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J
J-F-K
J-F-K
Oh, oh, oh.
One man,
once died,
but did you know that he could read all of our minds?
He was the US Adam,
with Jack the Wife.
He was a hyper charismatic telepathical knight.
J-F-K
J-F-K

"Even though I am better than you,
I am not."

His parents were an academic team of elites.
Their goal was to raise the future human supreme.
He smelt like the future.
His words felt like flowers.
And if you shook his hand you'd make love with it for hours.

A list?
Lets.
Soldier?
Check.
Flight?
True.
Commie?
No.
Rich?
Quite.

And was he the true cousin of Sir Jesus Christ?
You ****ing know he was man.
Oh, oh, oh!

Made love,
read minds,
went inside of more than half of mankind.
Let us down, but ****,
how could we mind?
He was a handsome devil but the kind of devil you liked.
Wore suits,
sometimes.
Went inside of more than half of mankind.
Starred in movies that appear in our minds.
He knew the secrets to all space and time.
And if he liked you,
he would tell you,
but you had to unwind.

J-F-K
J-F-K

"You don't know it,
but are full of stars."

"He understands my ****!"
Said the short and the tall.
He saw a million faces,
and he sexed them all.
I saw him heal a zebra.
I saw him love his wife.
I saw him bless a demon,
and that demon changed its life.

Some secrets never aired about our sex-lord elect.
Let us go back to when JFK was just specs.
No one knew,
no one guessed,
due to all his flaws,
that the worlds most human mo-fo,
wasn't human at all!
Oh, oh, oh.

Fake man,
great stats,
never sat to empty out all his crap.
How could a program love and **** so sweet?
He was a hyper sympathetic telepathic machine.

J-F-K
J-F-K

"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
And women are even cooler."