my 83

strollin though the hood in my 83
middle of the night
*****s on my left and *****s on my right
yelling c-c-crip to every ***** i see
if you think you bad enough come **** with me
chiddy chiddy bang bang crips dont die when they mutiply
even when we gettin high higher than the sky
me an my freinds always flashin blue
but when i tell you well rip your *** in 2 yuo better back up
cause we dont back down
ya see we like spartans fight till we martians
you might mistake me for a busta
but you never know i might be on your *** like salsa
yea
ill be comin around the corner in my 83 plymouth, burgandy
but please ***** dont mistake me
crip 4 life crip til death
even after life ill still be flyin high rollin in gangsta heavan with tupac the greatest rapper ever
(damn right)
i still strive to keep it up
cant wait to get a pup
(yea)
beacuse i roll like eskimos
still trashin them ho's
me n my husky being very fiesty playin black ops
with trashtop (gavin)
(mhm)(yea)
we be cashin crops
savin half the weed
***** dont make me plead
illl be like assassins creed
kill your *** on the block
(yesum)
me n my crew dont screw
when theres two
yea and i gotta say we all miss pac
time goes bye like tiktok
(yea)
gangs need a change
we need to stop this killin and blood spillin
(for sho)
we gotta fix it like penisillin
all this killin is stoping us from seein
what we need to watch
our babys teethin and sticken with the girl
that means the world

. comment tell me what i need to change or anything like that

I'm not going to lecture you on what most people here think a rap is, or what a good one is. Everyone has their opinions, and I'm not going to lecture you about your Rhyme Scheme. What I'm going to lecture you about is practice. Honestly I find this horrible, you aren't rapping about what you are, and what's true to your heart man. You're not a blood, a crip, a triad, you're not any gangster, and you never will be. Don't rap about getting high all the time, and ****ing people up, it' dumb man. Write about what is true TO YOU, look up some Eminem for that. Also you need to work on flow, it doesn't have to rhyme to be good and keep a set rhythm, look up some tech n9ne for that. He is great and doesn't always rhyme in his songs, but he can keep it going like a true beast. If you want to throw some rhymes in there since you are a beginner and it will help you the most, try to add some multi's. All those are, are some rhymes with more than one rhyme in each sentence. An EX of this is: "I use a pen like a weapon to write my rhymes on paper NEXT LINE You need practice get to steppin start a line of fire on them haters" So you have Weapon, steppin, rhymes, line, paper haters. That is a pretty bad example but I just came up with it in the one minute I have been writing this. These are some things I just personally think you need to improve on, whether or not you feel the same way is up to you bro.

EDIT: You can use Ludacris as a good example for Multis

I agree with Tyler6270 here, it really does feel fake and i'm feeling pointless lyrics here as well (lines just to make rhymes). I also get an air of freestyle here, like it's improvised rather than written. That's just my opinion though, the flow just feels freestyle. Still, here's stuff to help you: Try not to rap about your awesomeness, in-rhymes are good - use many if your flow's not quick. That's all i have to add for now, i'm no expert so my input is limited

Okay thanks guys. .. and. I'm a crip I got jumped it 3 years ago

Yo, I see what your wanting to do in your rap....but yeah needs more consistant flow through out...and if its what you want to rap about do it.Never listen to what others think the topic should be about cause if its old school style like NWA or new like more word play style like EM who cares do what you want with it. One big thing is though ...keep with the angle you start out with bec. in the beginning your like bang bang shoot'em up type rapping and then at the end you totally flipped it and started saying not to and save the children type talk so it kinda contradicted the mood and what you are trying to get across.

You're not crip.

What the fxck does crip mean ? Disabled like in cripple ?
By the way, I agree with Tyler. This subject sxcks.

Crip is a gang member. There are two big gangs in America, the Crips and the Bloods. Well at least as far as 'Gangsta' gangs go.

Oh yeah, I seen it on National Geographic. I'm actually really smiling, is this guy serious ?

I guess so, I don't care if he is a crip. They're a joke.

Where are you from actually ? Are you American or do you have other roots ? I don't know anything about u.

I'm American, but my Ancestors were German and other European things haha. Where are you from?

Just Belgium. My ancestors were Belgian, everybody was friggin' Belgian. :-)

You make good waffles Haha how old are you?

That's just a stereotype, but sure, I make some good waffles
I'm 23, how old are u ?

Hahaha I know it is. And my age is a secret

Haha he has it posted around here somewhere. One of his first posts. My roots are German, I still have members of my family in prison there. But, the crips are a gang who strive to kill the bloods because of territory. Pretty much a bunch of people whom think they are thug because they can run around with guns and kill innocent people. If you want to stand for something, and actually strike fear into people join something such as the mafia, the triads etc..

Don't think I do haha, but I'm not some little kid, so don't worry

I'm guessin' 35.

I'll take that as a compliment of maturity haha