This is my first time here and at writing something so please check it out

Wake up in the morning dribble on my face and di*k in my hand
try'n to relive the dream that the sandman command
drowsy and drained from the weekends
hyper-activity and festivities feeling effects of the dawns activity
nega-tively whats next to me?
300 pounds of beastly - obesity now in captivity
im in the nitty-gritty
meet be look'n like a twisty
she got venereal diseases
im feeling sh#tty reliving the night that brought me to this
monstrous bit*h of a hill billy

i must have had about 30 beers
5 shots of jager with tequila chasers
bourbon, gin and vodka alcoholics monster
martini slicer, perry pear cider
sambucca to scotch tingle in my crotch

thats all i got so far let me know what you think

I'm sorry, but if you want people to take you seriously, just remove the first line. Even though it's probably true, and people relate to it, it's just not appropriate... Other than that, I don't really know. You're just mashing words together in a rhyming fashion.

I think it's plenty appropiate. We're not 5 here, we're big boys and girls

Zachre, come on ! It might be appropiate, it doesn't have multi's and so on ...

I wasn't rating its quality, just saying they'res nothing wrong with the language! I don't like reviewing people's work, because I have no room to talk.

Well, I wasn't saying it was the words that were offensive, but just the fact that people won't take it serious.

I get up on the track and when the beat drops that's my cue
Working my way to the top just paying my dues
Up all night writing rhymes I swear I can never snooze
They say cheaters never win so I play fair and never lose
It's understood that everyone has different views
Fake friends can pretend, but they don't really know what you're going through
So why don't you come see what it's like in my shoes
But be careful becasue these are brand new, I bet you wish you were wearing these
Where I go from here is nothing I can guarantee
Can't put a price on life that's why all my carings free
Money doesn't grow but it could the way I'm sharing trees
I never slack I'm giving back to everyone who was there for me