Untitled #5

I could never mask the smell of cigarette on my teeth
my cigarette stained lips telling secrets to your neck
and we kept them hidden underneath your skin
and my clothes still smell like that summer we spent together
but new love never lasts as long as we’d like
my clothes are just reminders of old hope and all my past ghosts
that are chasing me on this long walk home

Down the empty alleyways that echo with the past
and as I walk through them, I can hear them laugh
crossing the same roads I’ve been down before
I could never ignore the look of your smile
reflecting back at me from those blue cats eyes
but those white lines could always read my mind
and I’m mapping out your skin in my head once again
I know I’m sending myself in the wrong direction
and your lights are all off as I walk by your house
so I guess you’re not home, I guess you’re out having fun
dancing and singing like we did all night long

Now I’m lost and I’m spinning in my city at midnight
the contours of your body I’m seeing in the moon light
reflecting off the water in the harbour tonight
and I want to jump off the wharf just once in my life
like you did, and I remember you screamed the whole way down
and yelled at me is this what it feels like to feel alive?
and I’m remembering now things that I guess I should’ve said
but just like that day I’m too coward to admit
that I’m a coward that cowers at every confrontation
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you thought I was
the one that you said you fell in love with
but that night I was dizzy and the roads were all crooked
like the teeth of an old lover that caused so many problems
and I know I’d be good for you if I just found my way home
but I can’t shake these goddamn ghosts.

I really like this, these are very good lyrics. Perhaps the only thing I would suggest if avoiding the repitition and overuse of words like "cigarette" and "coward/cowers" as they somewhat damage the flow of the piece

good job =)

My favorite part of this one:

"and I want to jump off the wharf just once in my life
like you did, and I remember you screamed the whole way down
and yelled at me is this what it feels like to feel alive?"

Strange thing, every lyric of yours that I read reminds me of a book that I read a long time ago, "A Separate Peace". Nothing specific, it's just something in the style of the thoughts and impressions that you express, your "signature". I always enjoy reading your posts and this was no exception. Like RevolvingElk said, good job

@Moon, I must check that book out when I have a chance. Thank you for taking the time out to comment and read my song, it really means a lot. I really appreciate all your comments =)

@Revolving, thank you also for taking the time out to comment and read. I could agree with you on the cigarette line, but I purposely put in coward/cowers, I just like how it sounds. Thank you for your suggestions and critique, and your overall feedback though. I really appreciate that you read it and gave feedback.