Same old story

You ever loved somebody so much you'd do anything for 'em
Anything to protect 'em
Anything to be with 'em
And the whole world could see
Just how caring you could be
How you gave up every free..dom
Just to give her what she needs
But the next day you come home, to a broken home
An empty house, Save for one lonely note
Next to a used box of tissues, just outlining all the issues
That she has with the dynamic..
It's real funny ain't it
How you give a girl everything you have
But it's not half of what she expects to have
And everyone's listening thinking I can relate
In the words of the knowing, this is our fate
Yeah, this is our fate, a lesson of hate
Rise up above it now, we can be great
...
..
.

Not done obviously, what do you think?

come on

anyone?

It's good so far...really has a meaning, wanna see the rest tho, cuz its the type of rap that u want more of. Good work. Keep goin tho

I read the first line and immediately thought of "When I'm gone" by Eminem. I think this created an unfair comparison in my mind. Maybe try to tweak the first line so it makes the same point with a little more originality?

Thanks. Anyone else?

I listened and it's alike but there are only so many words.

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?"

Do you think it is original enough since it is two syllables less? And to a different rhythm?

anyone?

Tough to say. The lyric is likely better than I am saying, but like I said my mind created an unfair comparison. To give it it's own life if you will I would need to hear it actually as part of the song.

Are these song lyrics?I couldn't figure out what beat/rhythm this was suppose to be.I use commas to pace my words.I'm no judge on hip-hop lyrics but if that's what you're shooting for......I like them.I write about being in pain,check me out,let me know.D.D.