Loosing My Mind, I'm Loosing My Mind...

[intro in regular voice]
God, your there no matter what I do.
No matter what THEY do....
Those nights back then you kept Me from harms way,
and tried your best to stop the demons.
....but recently.. Why weren't you there when I needed you?


[starts singing]

Loosing my mind,
I'm loosing my mind.
God where are you when I need you,
When I am not,
That Fine?
I'm going insane,
I'm going insane.
God how come my life ended up,
Giving me such pain?
Pain?
Pain...?


Its In the middle of the night*
Startin up as a common adult fight,
Hear the yellin' turn on the light, hear the-
*screamin' n cryin'.
Cussin' n lyin'.
*Upstairs, your spyin'.

What was this nonsense all about?

Suddenly seeing mommy beat daddy,
N daddy pushes her hard.
But you seem to regard.
The fact that Your whole world around you is breaking down..

You suddenly back away,
Should you go down there?
Or should you sit hidden n stay?
You don't know what to do, but they down there
*n you have no clue
Cuz your back is against the wall n you need a tissue.

The first seven years of your life, started out this way.
N Seven years later was so clean until today,*
This Shadow you may call Me.
This Shadow so you say.
This Shadow is scar'd with a frown, n it might stay this way.*
cause!
...............................................

Loosing my mind,
I'm loosing my mind.
God where are you when I need you,
When I am not,
That Fine?
I'm going insane,
I'm going insane.
God how come my life ended up,
Giving me such pain?
Pain?
Pain...?
------------

I didn't intend for my life to be like this,*
N I didn't plan it out to be the way that it is.
It just happens, you never know when is the end of your bliss.
It's endless, guessing.
Besides, the front door is locked n with you in this dudgeon, you ain't ever coming out!

You know those first seven years weren't the greatest at all,
Cause every time id catch myself when I was about to fall,
A cousin made ME smile every now and then again
I can't remember when was the last time I saw him.

A little baby girl hiding behind the chair,
How come did her life have to start out so unfair?
They had the nerve to fight in front of her!
You remember all those times,
Play the music they seem like mimes.

I'm loosing my mind I'm loosing my mind!!


You see that daddy pushed mommy n she fell on the ground,
God why on earth did my life end up so profound?
You suddenly began hearing all these sounds.
Of angels picking you up,
when the demons pulling you down!*Down the stairs you go,*
N you don't even know,*What you gonna do,*
About these two,
About you.


...............................................

Loosing my mind,
I'm loosing my mind.
God where are you when I need you,
When I am not,
That Fine?
I'm going insane,
I'm going insane.
God how come my life ended up,
Giving me such pain?
Pain?
Pain...?


So you start runnin' to mommy,
Yellin' at both of them to just shut up,
Guess that today was the day that didn't have much luck.
Cause the beginning was so sweet n now that it's night, it sucks,
The life out of you!

then mommy gets up, n continues to punch daddy.
He pushes her again until she falls again,
And then,
You finally start yellin' n screamin',
Your words start beamin', though they still fight n hatin' on another.
Then your brother, probably the youngest of all,
Peekin' away at his parents from the front room hall.
You felt as if you wanted to say that it was okay.
but hey, you were in the middle of a fight!

Like father like daughter, you understand why he's mad.
Though your still so sad, n you scream "dad! Don't touch her like that!"

Almost Fourteen year old daughter, holding back her own father.
Though you couldn't push him away,
Due to the delay, that, that day- you were to scared to be strong enough.
Be tough,*
Though to the way they feel,
About the missing brother.
Guess they had forgot about the other.
Cause it seemed like we didn't really matter at that time.
N you'll decline, the designs- the demons made inside of you.

------------------------------

...............................................

Loosing my mind,
I'm loosing my mind.
God where are you when I need you,
When I am not,
That Fine?
I'm going insane,
I'm going insane.
God how come my life ended up,
Giving me such pain?
Pain?
Pain...?


The house was full of rage,
Turn the page,
As if you were the sage of the age.
Cause you seemed to be the only grown up.

The fight was over, though emotionally YOU weren't.
The current of shocking horror brought back by the memories.
You reminisce,*
Of those days, first seven years of your life,
Was a strife, cause back then you didn't know nothing.
You could "auto magically" forgive, you were a child you forget.
Though memories stayed with you, n all the things they did.

Collapse on the front room chair, same chair.
You hid behind seven years ago...
n lay there.
It was over. though life still remained unfair.
Couldn't bare, the fact. That, that little missing baby.
Could cause the family to go so crazy.

...............................................

Loosing my mind,
I'm loosing my mind.
God where are you when I need you,
When I am not,
That Fine?
I'm going insane,
I'm going insane.
God how come my life ended up,
Giving me such pain?
Pain?
Pain...?

Edited...
I'm not ashamed of my life. So I am willing to explain you every detail in a pm...
If you are willing to be an awesome friend and understand....

This is one of the most open writings I have read. Everything need be felt is within and hard to make watery eyes turn off. I appreciate you so much for sharing. With my love, my dear! You touched me deeply.

-Nanashi-

Thanks for sharing this. Makes me remember a few things myself...

-Joshua-

Thanks nanashi n Josh I just edited it again and added to it. I just needed to express myself through This and it was very therapeutic for my past

I appreciate it guys thanks so much

~Hugs Shadow~ <3

Thanks for making Mee smile moon
*hugs tight*