Do You Hear Thunder?

It's the first time I'm posting my own lyrics here. I've been writing songs for a year now. Please tell me what you think of this. It's about a relationship I did a lot to revive, but it wasn't enough. Thanks for dropping by.

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I want you to watch this
Chasm spreading wide
See if you can stop things from
Breaking inside
Now you’re asleep and I gaze
Down at the ground
Our glittering promises are
Strewn all around

(Pre chorus)

Then I start picking the pieces
Join them up to make a picture
You and I we try to heal this
Try to stitch us back together

(Chorus)

But we are too small to battle
This angry burst of rain
Do you hear thunder ‘cause I think
We’re crumbling again
We’re crumbling again

(Verse 2)

When I wake up some mornings
It’s darker than at night
Sometimes I call out for you
To give me some respite
I don’t think you can see me
I can’t reach you inside
So I help you to deceive me
And you help me to hide

(Pre chorus)

Then we try to pick the pieces
Join them up to make a picture
You and I we try to heal this
Try to run and find some shelter

(Chorus)

But we are too small to battle
This angry burst of rain
Do you hear thunder ‘cause I think
We’re crumbling again
We’re crumbling again

(Bridge)

We are crumbling, we won’t last
Our little world is overcast
A flash of lightening, here’s more rain
Yeah we crumble over again

(Pre chorus)

And we try to pick up the pieces
Join them up to make a picture
You and I we try to heal this
Try to stitch us back together

(Chorus)

But we are too small to battle
This angry burst of rain
Do you hear thunder ‘cause I think
We’re crumbling again
We’re crumbling again

I LOVE how you used your words in this it's like golden,

Then I start picking the pieces
Join them up to make a picture


I seemed to like that bit a lot it seemed to stand out to me
I like it a lot, it also told Meh an awesome story- thanks for sharing

-Shadow

Ooooomigosh this is so full ... so rich with meaning and feeling and the first two lines riveted my attention in about two seconds. Your writing is really smooth and elegantly simple. I just love this, start to finish, and it will be one of my favorites here for as long as I can remember it.

Both these posts mean a lot to me, thanks ever so much. This's the first time I've shared this particular song with anyone. Thanks!

Your welcome :] anytime! I'd be happy to review your lyrics anytime!



BTW idrk but I just have to say i love your username it reminds ME of the T.I n J.T song "Dead n Gone" LoL

Haha, thank you! I haven't heard that one but i'll hear it definitely now. I picked it from "The River" by Good Charlotte! Just posted another song, drop by please