Please tell me what you think of these lyrics!!!!

This is the first time I've written a song, so please be honest!!!
All I wanna do,
Is baby, be with you.
What else can I say?
How do I make this right?
So we can sleep at night.
How do I make this all ok?

When I first saw you, I fell in love.
Baby, you were all I wanted.
Now I have you, and I'm in trouble.
You're all I could have hoped for.

But now things ain't so cool,
'Cause you went broke the rules.
Well baby, tell me what should I do?

'Cause all I wanna do,
Is baby, be with you.
What else can I say?
How do I make this right?
So we can sleep at night.
How do I make this all ok?

Things went great for a while, you made me smile.
But that's when things started to go wrong, yeah.
You brought out my best and worst, you made me hurt.
But baby, I still love you!

'Cause all I wanna do,
Is baby, be with you.
What else can I say?
How do I make this right?
So we can sleep at night.
How do I make this all ok?

I loved you so, but now you're gone.
You loved me, than you left me!
Thought we were right, guess I was wrong!

'Cause all I wanna do,
Is baby, be with you.
What else can I say?
How do I make this right?
So we can sleep at night.
How do I make this all ok?

'Cause all I wanna do,
Is baby, be with you.
What else can I say?
How do I make this right?
So we can sleep at night.
How do I make this all ok?

my observations are not the be-all. But Chuck Berry always said to tell a story to make at right. I need to know the story. Why are you referencing "so we can sleep at night" when It seems as though it is YOU that is having trouble. you state you are in trouble, what trouble? Are you in trouble when she broke the rules?? If so please explain why. (are you into a depression, drug induced despair, financial?, what way??) What about the "best" and "worst" that was brought out?? These are my observations. I have my writings on here in hopes of being critiqued also, so take it as you want.

Actually, this just popped into my head randomly without any reason behind it. The "so we can sleep at night" is refrencing the fact that they stay up fighting all night long instead of sleeping together peacfully. As far as "in trouble" it's just hnting at the small fights that slowly start becoming larger until they bllow up. The "best and worst" is refrencing the person who's singing, it's talking about their personality being brought out. The good and the bad of that person. The "broke the rules" is talking about breaking one of the fundumental rules of a relationship, staying faithful to your partner. The other person cheated on the singer. I hope this helps.

It does help but i would like to pose these questions. If she was the "bad" one why is it so hard for you (the singer)? Why would YOU have to make anything "right"? I think that she will continue to do her thing in this instance because you are being the one with guilt. She would have little concern for your feelings, as it is presented. Develop the good aspects of your relations that have gone away because of this infidelity. The pivotal point of the story is the betrayal and how you react, (and how she would react in turn, but I do not see that anywhere) did she leave forever and let you continue to hurt? has she mended her ways after seeing your reaction?

It's hard for the singer because he loves her so much, and was hurt by her betrayal. However, he loves her so much that he is willing to try and give her a second chance. And you may very well be right, she might just do the same thing all over again. But we can't pretend to understand the ways of the heart, sometimes when you someone enough, they could do anything and you'd still love them. I don't think that she left forever, I think she was fighting with the singer, and thusly has coninuously hurt him with her words. I don't believe that she has mended her ways, at least not permanently. I believe that she will most likely repeat the incident and the same thing will happen all over again. I hope this helps!!!! ^.^