First friends now strangers.

Hi, I'm 13 and this is my first song that I've written, I have changed it a bit from my original, but it still probably needs improvement.

Verse 1
First time I saw you, I knew you were the one for me.
It turns out you were everything I wished for, like I wanted you to be.
Your smile ,was the first thing I noticed about your sweet little face.
Dreaming about us together and the way your lips would, taste.



Verse 2

It's amazing how everything you expected, could turn into hell.
I always admired you from the start, but I knew you couldn't tell.
We were so busy thinking about ourselves, that we gradually drifted, apart.
There was nothing I could do, about our situation, and I couldn't fix my broken heart.



Chorus
Thinking about everything we could be
It's a shame that your eyes cannot properly see.
Now when I try to smile, you turn it upside, down.
Now my thoughts when I see you standing there, will always suffer and drown.
First friends now strangers, I wish we didn't even seperate.
First friends, now strangers, you didn't even want me but sadly that's fate.





Verse 3
Head down, looking at the floor and ashamed of my own life,
The way you completely ignore me, is like being stabbed with a rusty knife.
Sitting in the darkness, thinking about your brown eyes, is driving me round the bend.
Practising sending you a message but, never wanting to press send.



Chorus
Thinking about everything that we could be
It's a shame that your eyes, cannot properly see.
Now when I try to smile, you turn it upside down.
Now my thoughts when I see you standing there, will always suffer and drown.
First friends now strangers, I wish we didn't even seperate.
First friends, now strangers, you didn't even want me but sadly that's fate.




Verse 4
Walking up to you and talking is like a mission , on its own.
Wondering when we are ever gonna talk, while gazing into the phone.
But I know that you would love me as your girlfriend, rather than her instead,
Well its too late now because she's already gotten into your thick head.





Verse 5
Wondering how I can change, is killing me from inside.
I hope that you find someone special and that our friendship, never died.
Why won't you realise that she is just simply, fake.
It we could travel back in time and still be friends, what would it take?



Chorus
Thinking about everything we could be
It's a shame that your eyes cannot properly see.
Now when I try to smile, you turn it upside down.
Now my thoughts when I see you standing there, will always suffer and drown.
First friends now strangers, I wish we didn't even seperate.
First friends, now strangers, you didn't even want me, but sadly that's fate.




Outro.
Please walk away, before you get hurt again,
Please, please, turn around she is no good for you, at all.
First I've gotta get my head together, then maybe I'll give you a call.

I love the chorus and the outro. Lyrically it was all good, but maybe you could add something to the verses to make it a bit longer.

It's funny you said that because I posted it on yahoo answers and they said to make the chorus a bit shorter, but I did like the original better than this version, thanks for the advise x

Haha you're welcome.

Nice song SophieB Good job
now you gotta put it to music