Title: Your Own Creation (DARK SONG)

Thread: Title: Your Own Creation (DARK SONG)

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  1. MR.Alexander said:

    Smile Title: Your Own Creation (DARK SONG)

    Way into the night
    An alley fills with my screams
    Bound and exposed
    Unable to break free from violation
    The pain I feel everywhere on my body
    The seed inside, left to germinate
    They do now know
    What they've done

    (chorus)
    My heart has turned to stone
    My mind has shattered
    No thoughts of boys or love come to me
    Thoughts of vengence, of screams from my oppress
    They fear thier own creation
    A being, soul purpose is vengence
    Against all who oppresses those who can't fight back
    I sence the fFear of your own creation
    Scream for me, scream louder!
    Beg for merci, though you deserve none
    Shall have none
    Look into my eyes
    Your own creation
    (chorus end)

    Looking at me in the light
    Many stop and stare
    Many call me angel, sweet, maybe they see weakness
    In the dark
    You see the truth
    Your love turns to fear
    My heart can bear no love
    Love causes weakness
    Never will I be the Victum ever again

    (chorusx2)
    My heart has turned to stone
    My mind has shattered
    No thoughts of boys or love come to me
    Thoughts of vengence, of screams from my oppress
    They fear thier own creation
    A being, soul purpose is vengence
    Against all who oppresses those who can't fight back
    I sence the fFear of your own creation
    Scream for me, scream louder!
    Beg for merci, though you deserve none
    Shall have none
    Look into my eyes
    Your own creation
    (chorus end)

    Your Blood slowly leaves your body
    Your screams is music to my ears
    You see hatred, burning in mine
    no room for weakness
    My eyes are now black holes
    Drainning all your good feelings
    You won't die alone
    Many opressors will follow you!

    Chorusx3)
    My heart has turned to stone
    My mind has shattered
    No thoughts of boys or love come to me
    Thoughts of vengence, of screams from my oppress
    They fear thier own creation
    A being, soul purpose is vengence
    Against all who oppresses those who can't fight back
    I sence the fFear of your own creation
    Scream for me, scream louder!
    Beg for merci, though you deserve none
    Shall have none
    Look into my eyes
    Your own creation
    (chorus end)
     
  2. LazzurusMan said:

    Default

    Very good, I really like the emotion and anger you've put into this, the only things I can see wrong with this are a few grammar mistakes, such as "Your screams is music to my ears" should be "Your screams are music to my ears"

    Overall I really like it,

    Keep on writing ^^

    LazzurusMan
    Last edited by LazzurusMan; 11-21-2011 at 09:31 PM. Reason: Spelling