TALK TO ME GIRL

"lets go take a walk" *girl sniffs*

Whats wrong girl its not like you to be sad,
hey I like it better when you had the latest fad
you know the one that made you so rad,
hold on was it my friend brad who made you cry
baby dont worry ill make him die,
its not brad? who then trust me
it will be our destiny to be in love

tell me why oh why do you have a frown ill give you a crown to have you smile

tell me why oh why do you have a frown ill give you a crown to have you smile

"your still not gonna talk to me are ya" "uh-uh"

well now that were alone now just tell me how you feel
come on tell me more i need to know for real
just spill it i cant bare no more secrets between us
i cant open up no more when you cant tell me your secrets
i guess to be real you need to reviel,
we need to let our emotions explode, mine is ready to go boom
or we can just bottle things up and never show and be *******s

"now you ready to talk" "...yea..."

she: all i got to say its been fun but now i gotta run
im done they may be jerks but your no better
no for real i rather date a smerf
he: comon girl why do you need to be like that
I thought you like my jerkyness let go and take a rest
I think its the best maybe we should date our ex
you have max and i have the girl who plays the sax she: "are you talking about emily" he: "yup"
she: I guess its for the best i just have one regret
he: "whats that"
she: I was dating a ******* all my life its been a waste of my time
how could i be so dumb to not relize it.

she: "what no chourse?" he: "you dont deserve it"

</3

Nice job. You started the story in the beginning and progressed it throughout. Looks good, and it's unique how it doesn't have a clear refrain/chorus. It's isn't mandatory to have it.

thank you for the feedback bro and this actually happened to me so

You're welcome anytime. Sorry to hear about that. It's good though what you are doing. While they were bad experiences, they can and will help in this area.

yup
haha