Raven

All the men are sinners
And all sinners are men
That is all I am " a sinner and a man…

Life was never easy, still not hard enough
For me to pay my mistakes and lies
Life was sometimes easy and sometimes hard
But I never took it seriously enough

I raise my hands to the grey skies
With a question in my eyes,
Question old as time…
Can my soul be saved somehow?
Can I wash away all I’ve done?

Suddenly i hear a croaking call
A black raven coming from the heights
Approaching to summon my lost soul
Is there still a chance? I moan…

And there is light, is it the sun?
I open up my eyes and realize
That there is still time enough
To start over and wash away the past…

The repentant will be saved
God saves the repentant
And repentant I am

This has some promise I believe. Can you write a chorus or build up some of the existing lines as a chorus?

In the line "But I never ever took it seriously enough" I would leave out "ever".

Give this a little more thought and try to punch it up a little here and there (like maybe instead of "To start all over and wash away the past" how about "To start over again and roll back the pain") then I think you could have something really good.

Added... also try to beef up the Raven thing, like maybe tie it with your last verse.... the Raven threatening you as some kind of judgment?

The band i work with found it really tough to make a melody for this lyrics - if you can call them lyrics - it is more of a poem.
I also think that i have to work on the chorus...and EVER def. must be put out - thanks on that

I have a song of the same name,it's funny how a song,with the same name,can be so........different!I like what you have,like mine,you HAVE TO hear it with a melody to get the full effect.I got "Nice start",but he didn't "hear the lyric"like I did.It's bare bones when the reader is only looking at WORDS.Rock on!