Most of this song (if not all) will probably be scrapped, but I'm trying to find a direction around the chorus, which I want to keep. Any idea's?
It was gossip night
and we were in the way.
The women said "skat!",
"Go out and play".
I mentioned the bar,
the girls said ok.
They gave us the rules
and we were on our way
At a corner pub
called "Tasters Treat"
the place was hoppin
and we found a seat.
(Pre- Chorus)
I barely had my beer in hand
when the flirters swarmed on in
My wedding ring didn't mean a thing
but I kept shooing them
I'm....... swattin at barflys circling me
there buzzin around gettn drinks for free
Their relentless; won't let me be..........
Yea, I'm swattin at barflys circling me
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Swattin At Barflys (Very rough unfinished draft-Need input)
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I barely had my beer in hand,
When I heard the first notes of the band.
Hey, it rhymes! I'll get back to you on this after I've re-read it a few times.
Oh,and I love the use of the word "skat"!!!Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 12-06-2012 at 03:34 PM. Reason: Skit,Skat,how about Dat?
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Heya Doug.....just a suggestion or two....Dont let it slide, I love it. Keep working on it!!
I barely had my beer in hand
when the flies swarmed in
I flashed my wedding band
it didn't mean a thing
Ikept on shooing them.....
Go AWAY...
And I kept on shooing them anyway
Im..... swattin at barflys circling me
They're buzzin around gettn drinks for free
They're ageless, relentless: won't let me be
Yea, Im swatting at barflys circling me.
Good luck with it Doug
Cheers, Ingaden -
@Ingaden;
I just got through reading and Commenting on your excellent,gutsy piece Putrid,Stupid People.I'd like to take credit for the above song,but it's LooknGlass'es piece.I only wrote the Reply underneath it. -
Oh gosh.....I am so sorry LooKnGlass..... please accept my apologies. I am fairly new on this site, although I think I used to be on one similar about a year ago..... Anyhoo, I love the piece and would love to see it again with further work. Cheers, Ingaden
Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe
