dance under a metal moon

rocking under a metal moon
baby, why leave so soon?
let us breathe the scent of life
sharpen it with your own knife

chorus:

baby, love to see you swing
queen of rhythm, make me king
baby, love to see you sweat
under that moon I'm looking at

close together, feel my heart
don't want us to drift apart
move along, the beat is cool
bow and arrow are my tool
I'm sagittarius alright
aiming at you thru' the night

baby, love to see you swing
queeen of rhythm, make me king
baby, love to see you sweat
under that moon I'm looking at

feelings grabbed in time indeed
heating up under our feet
smaragd eyes piercing my soul
dancing steps out of control
leaving now, babe, makes no sense
feel the air, it's hot and tense

baby, love to see you swing
queen of rhythm, make me king
baby, love to see you sweat
under the moon I'm looking at

P.S: on Doug's suggestion I lifted this out of "Amaryn's poems 2013"
I'm not sure about the title of this song. Suggestions?

Amaryn,
I'm starting to worry about you!You simply do not know when you have something great!I'll gladly point out that your Song Title is OUTSTANDING!"Dance Under A Metal Moon" is Too Cool for School!Don't even think about changing the Title!You already know,I love this piece and consider what I said in my PM to you.

Amazing... Just...amazing. I have no words. It's just flawless Why do you want to change the title? I think it's fine. If you really want to change it I would say "Metal moon". But don't change it. It's great the way it is.

This was really great! It's a timeless piece, and you have my pass. For this is the kind of love/relationship lyrics I can enjoy Good rhyming, and great imagery Now as title suggestions, perhaps "Dancing with you, under a metal moon" ? I'm not sure, might be too long though.

Isn't it nice to have praise heaped upon you when you write something great?Amaryn,from the bottom of my heart,this is SO GOOD,the Title is original,and now that you spelled out each Chorus,this should be receiving tons of well deserved praise.This is something to be proud of!Well done,my Flower Brother.

Thanks Flower Bro and you guys, it's so encouraging, all these reactions. But be sure, I follow your poetry and songs just as eagerly!

I'm impressed. Some songs rock, some roll, this one rocks and rolls. What should the music sound like? I keep hearing in my head Smooth bij Santana/Rob Thomas.

I shall listen to that, Peter. I want to tell you after that, what I hear myself